What is the deal with Irish guys ?!

LegacyUser

I would like if it is just this particular guy I was seeing or if most Irish guys are like that.

We're both in our almost-mid-twenties, and we had been seeing each other for two years but nothing serious. We met on a night out and I'm not Irish (not Polish, Latin, German or French).
We exchanged numbers and FB. We spent a lot like really a lot of time talking about everything before going on a proper date. We hit it off immediately.

We went on a first date after which he kept on complimenting me about my looks. He was complimenting me all the time about anything. As he is quite good-looking, I did the same.
I guess that was part of the first-step flirting.

However, we stopped seeing each other for a while because he was away for a bit, and after that, he just stopped complimenting me. No compliments at all. Never. They just vanished, even when I compliment him, he doesn't return the gesture. Worse, he likes them and emphasizes on them. I don't compliment him for the purpose of being complimented too but still.

Another point, before meeting me, he used to be very insecure about his looks, whenever I would compliment him he'd be like " You're just being nice ", and change the subject. But I feel like all of those compliments I gave him have gone to his head and he feels he can do better. He's even changed his style and stuff.

I'd like to know, if most Irish guys are reluctant to giving compliments in a relationship (after the initial flirting step is crossed), or is it just him that decided to stop ?
Also, if that is just him, why would he stop ? I feel quite ugly when I'm with him...

I am a friend

Sorry how long are you seeing him for?

yermandan

Have you spoken to him about this?!! It seems a bit odd that you have been together for 2 years and by your account it is still fairly casual?!

Either way after that amount of time with a partner, if you cant talk about this kind of issue together then something isnt quite right.

Best of luck

ash23

After two years I'd imagine he's just bored of it all. What I mean is at the start of a relationship, you get all the mushy stuff, the compliments, the OTT stuff. After two years that kind of things dies down and is usually reserved for when the other person really makes an effort, getting all dressed up or whatever.
But it's usually replaced by other more meaningful things. However, in this case it hasn't been because the relationship is still casual, so there's no depth there to replace the initial excitement.

Miss Fluff

Confused_Focused wrote: »

I would like if it is just this particular guy I was seeing or if most Irish guys are like that.

We're both in our almost-mid-twenties, and we had been seeing each other for two years but nothing serious

Why are you even bothered? You'd a casual on/off "thing" with a guy who blew hot then cold for two years and never made any type of commitment to you. Not much point analysing it after it's all over really is there?

LegacyUser

We are not in a proper relationship, as I said, there is no real commitment. I wanted to commit but he didn't feel like it.

Besides, I used to always dress up when we were supposed to meet, and he didn't care much.

Of course, now it's over, but I wanted to know if it was the fact that I was complimenting him all the time that was the issue so I don't make the same mistake with other guys.

Kadongy

Nope not all Irish guys are like that.

curlzy

Defo not all Irish guys, I'm with my guy 5 years and he tells me at least once a day how sexy I am . Your fella not complimenting you is odd I think, I've found Irish guys to be very forthcoming with giving compliments, that includes male friends i.e "you're looking well" etc. I agree with previous posters that after 2 years if this is still "casual" then why are with him? He's not a keeper if you haven't wanted to make it official by now and by your account he makes you feel ugly. Why not just blow him out and find someone who makes you feel good.

lee_holloway

definitely not all irish guys are like this. so jumping to the conclusion that all irish guys aren't nice is redundant. there are plenty of lovely irish guys out there. dump this guy and find one of the lovely ones.

Esoteric_

Actually, out of all the men I've dated, it was the Irish guys that treated me the best and complimented me the most. My boyfriend never fails to tell me every single day how beautiful I am IT's not Irish guys, you were just seeing a loser.

Wompa1

To be fair I've heard from a lot of girls that Irish guys are great. Be they Irish girls, American, Australian, English...they all like the Irish guys.

But overall I think the Irish relationship is a bit different to in other countries thanks to the dating dynamic and our own shy type culture.

Taltos

OP - is this an ongoing relationship issue that you need further advice on?

If you care to elaborate on the advice you need please do so otherwise we shall close this thread shortly, otherwise there are other forums within SOC that might be more appropriate for discussion type threads.

Taltos

gargleblaster

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Actually, out of all the men I've dated, it was the Irish guys that treated me the best and complimented me the most. My boyfriend never fails to tell me every single day how beautiful I am IT's not Irish guys, you were just seeing a loser.

This ^

And I'll go one further and say that it's only the Irish one who has been honest, even when it didn't serve his interests to be. Every other man has sugar-coated things and blown smoke you know where in order to postpone inevitable conflicts.

Confused_Focused

Confused_Focused wrote: »

We are not in a proper relationship, as I said, there is no real commitment. I wanted to commit but he didn't feel like it.

Besides, I used to always dress up when we were supposed to meet, and he didn't care much.

Of course, now it's over, but I wanted to know if it was the fact that I was complimenting him all the time that was the issue so I don't make the same mistake with other guys.

The mistake you made was not walking away, when he didn,t want to make it a proper relationship.
Wether or not someone compliments you is irrevelent, if they care for you and treat you with respect.
If you want to avoid being in that situation again, don't settle for less than you need from a relationship.

MacieC

Yeah, you should dump the guy I believe. Being from abroad myself, I can assure you it's not an Irish thing. You just picked the wrong apple of the tree. There's plenty of fish out there, don't lose your time over an old apple.