cancelling joint guardianship application

electrofrog

Its my first time posting here so forgive me if this isn't the right place k here goes I'm a single father my son is 2 years old and I'm actively involved in his life me and his mother had a disagreement a while back and while we were arguing she denied me access for a few days now I applied for joint guardianship and the court date is approaching since then however we have resolved our differences and I agreed not to pursue the guardianship as I am now happy with the arrangements .

Thing is when I called the district court to cancel they told me I can't that I'd need to turn up on the day and cancel the request then (they insisted both of us need to turn up) she has already told me she wont go and as I don't want to pursue the matter what I'm asking is although it may be seen as disrespectfull to the court if neither of us turn up would anything happen?

Klingon Hamlet

electrofrog wrote: »

Its my first time posting here so forgive me if this isn't the right place k here goes I'm a single father my son is 2 years old and I'm actively involved in his life me and his mother had a disagreement a while back and while we were arguing she denied me access for a few days now I applied for joint guardianship and the court date is approaching since then however we have resolved our differences and I agreed not to pursue the guardianship as I am now happy with the arrangements .

Thing is when I called the district court to cancel they told me I can't that I'd need to turn up on the day and cancel the request then (they insisted both of us need to turn up) she has already told me she wont go and as I don't want to pursue the matter what I'm asking is although it may be seen as disrespectfull to the court if neither of us turn up would anything happen?

Joint guardianship is very important and something both of you can sign in agreement at a commissioner for oaths. However with the court application having been put through, I would be confident in saying that if you show up alone and tell the judge you're happy to withdraw, the judge will not mind that the mother is not there.

If you don't mind me asking, why don't you want guardianship?

Morag

Guardianship is important, it says that legally you are invovled in your child's life and are to be a part of any big decisions. With out it the mother can just pack up and move anywhere she wants including out of the country.

If you are a part of your child's life then you should have guardianship, dont' let yourself be bullied or blackmailed into not having it.

January

Why does she not want you to have guardianship? It's not custody or anything? It just gives you a say in your child's upbringing and the fact that she can't remove them from the country without your permission, unless that was what she was planning to do?

Bannasidhe

Please, please, please, do not withdraw your application! All it does it protect your legal relationship with your child - without it he is a legal stranger to you and his mother can block your access to him any time she wants for no reason.
It really is better to be safe then sorry and get yourself some legal protection for whatever may lie down the road.

sophia25

Tbh I think you are mad to cancel the application. Your child is entitled to 2 guardians and you are entitled as well. At present you have no legal relationship with your child. What happens if something happens to the Mother? Surely your child should have the protection of two parents?? Surely you should be able to have a relationship with your child that isn't dependent on the whims of it's Mother, what happens at the next disagreement?? I understand that you don't want to rock the boat but once you cancel the application, you are back at her mercy. If the application gets struck out for non appearance you can't just reenter the motion. If she chooses not to turn up that is her business and you can be awarded guardianship in her absence. If everything is going to be fine in the future, why does she want her child to be denied a legal relationship with their father?? You have to think long term and question what your child will feel when they realise you never went for legal guardianship??

yawnstretch

electrofrog wrote: »

Its my first time posting here so forgive me if this isn't the right place k here goes I'm a single father my son is 2 years old and I'm actively involved in his life me and his mother had a disagreement a while back and while we were arguing she denied me access for a few days now I applied for joint guardianship and the court date is approaching since then however we have resolved our differences and I agreed not to pursue the guardianship as I am now happy with the arrangements .

Could she be being nice just for now? What about when you have no power? You have the right to guardianship.

Take it. Nothing to lose.

electrofrog

Ok its a bit more complex but I don't want to go into detail if I continue with the application for guardianship she will make it very difficult and I will most likely spends months and months going through various court proceedings just to get a few hours (supervised) a week. Some would argue I'm better off doing this anyway but the situation was (prior to the little disagreement) very good as in I could see him anytime I like as is the current arrangement. I can't handle the thought of going through months and months without seeing him even if its for the greater good.

Thanks for your responses/concerns but all I really want to know is if I can re-apply at a later stage should things get nasty and from what I can gather I'm better off attending the courthouse.

I know you think I'm crazy to cancel this but trust me she is definitely not a flight risk or anything like that I want to keep this anonymous thus thats all I'll say on that but if I thought that was even a possability I wouldn't dream of cancelling the application.

Klingon Hamlet

electrofrog wrote: »

Ok its a bit more complex but I don't want to go into detail if I continue with the application for guardianship she will make it very difficult and I will most likely spends months and months going through various court proceedings just to get a few hours (supervised) a week. Some would argue I'm better off doing this anyway but the situation was (prior to the little disagreement) very good as in I could see him anytime I like as is the current arrangement. I can't handle the thought of going through months and months without seeing him even if its for the greater good.

Thanks for your responses/concerns but all I really want to know is if I can re-apply at a later stage should things get nasty and from what I can gather I'm better off attending the courthouse.

I know you think I'm crazy to cancel this but trust me she is definitely not a flight risk or anything like that I want to keep this anonymous thus thats all I'll say on that but if I thought that was even a possability I wouldn't dream of cancelling the application.

My only concern would be: why would she oppose guardianship at all?

Kildrought

Unless there is something untoward in your back ground (prison, drug abuse, history of violence etc.,) it is highly unlikely that your application for guardianship will be refused; even if your former partner objects.

If however you have good reason to believe that there are grounds for refusing guardianship then you may well be right in your approach.

Only you can tell.

James Jones

electrofrog wrote: »

Ok its a bit more complex but I don't want to go into detail if I continue with the application for guardianship she will make it very difficult and I will most likely spends months and months going through various court proceedings just to get a few hours (supervised) a week. Some would argue I'm better off doing this anyway but the situation was (prior to the little disagreement) very good as in I could see him anytime I like as is the current arrangement. I can't handle the thought of going through months and months without seeing him even if its for the greater good.

Its quite simple really. Things are grand at the moment but if you "continue with the application for guardianship she will make it very difficult".
Then don't bother. You have an ex who is a bit of a control freak but as long as she believes she is in charge, you can have a fairly nice time with your child. If, on the other hand, you apply and are granted Guardianship, she will stop you seeing your child. As Court Orders aren't enforced in this little island of ours, you can return to court as often as you like but you will get no-where,
By the way, Guardianship is irrelevant other than two things
1) Application for a passport (where your consent can be overturned)
2) Travel abroad

So, if she is not a flight risk, then Guardianship is literally not worth the paper it's written on. Check out THIS REPORT which led to THESE GUIDELINES which are ignored.

Guardianship is a waste of time . That is why the Law Reform Commission are recommending that it is granted automatically and also why over 95% of applicants are granted it in the Family Law Court which are renown for their anti-father bias. Why would the court object to you getting something that won't make any difference?

If you are seeing your child and believe this will stop if you continue with the application, then make the most of telling your ex that you respect her wishes and feelings and will continue to do so in the future. Let her know that you respect her as the boss and will do whatever she wants to help her in that role.
I know it might hurt your pride but NOTHING hurts more than not seeing your child.Take this from a married father who has not seen his children in 3½ years.

NB: Try this experiment. Print a copy of a Statutory Declaration, fill in the details and frame it. Then put it on the mantel piece beside a picture of your child. Look at them both for a minute then remove the picture of your child. Continue looking at the framed Statutory Declaration as long as you can. If the framed worthless piece of paper seems more important to you than the picture of your child (and all that the picture represents) then continue with the application.

Wantobe

Re your question- yes, if you cancel your application you CAN apply later. You can always ask the district court office for advice if you want.

But you could also ask the mother to consent to the application as a show of good faith on her part. The other posters are right, you should really be a joint guardian for your own sake anyway.

padr81

Do not go to court and cancel it and than apply again. Even if your getting on great, its your RIGHT to have joint guardianship of your child providing your a fit and able father. Tell your ex to let it go to court and get guardianship sorted anyway, its in both your best interests.

James Jones

padr81 wrote: »

Even if your getting on great, its your RIGHT to have joint guardianship of your child

No its not. If electrofrog had a RIGHT to be a Guardian, then he would not be in this situation. He has a RIGHT to apply to the Court to become a Guardian. Thats all.

padr81 wrote: »

Tell your ex to let it go to court and get guardianship sorted anyway, its in both your best interests.

How is it in the best interests of his ex to give up her unilateral control of her child when she doesn't have to? As long as she remains the sole guardian, she can do as she pleases.
How is it in electrofrog's interest to rock the relatively steady boat he is in for a worthless piece of paper? Remember, Guardianship is great if it is respected but most authorities-institutions simply don't respect it.

Cat Melodeon

electrofrog wrote: »

Its my first time posting here so forgive me if this isn't the right place k here goes I'm a single father my son is 2 years old and I'm actively involved in his life me and his mother had a disagreement a while back and while we were arguing she denied me access for a few days now I applied for joint guardianship and the court date is approaching since then however we have resolved our differences and I agreed not to pursue the guardianship as I am now happy with the arrangements .

What's to stop her from denying you access every time you have a disagreement? What happens if she meets someone else and doesn't want you around anymore? What if she gets married and her new partner decides to adopt your son, in which case you would never be able to claim guardianship or have any legal rights around your child? What if she starts making bad decisions about your child's education or healthcare? What if she decides to emigrate in a few years' time? What if she's in an accident, gets sick or dies? - you will not be regarded as next of kin and her family would be able to deny you access.

I know some people (ok many people) will say don't rock the boat, having been there and borne the heartache, but I would want my relationship with my child protected by law. You love your son, presumably you contribute something towards his upkeep? Maybe try and approach this from that slant, telling your ex that you want to make sure that she and your son are provided for and the best way to do that is to have it all laid out officially, so that if you end up meeting someone else and going on to have a family, your son's rights are protected too. She might not have thought about it that way, that it's not just you who stands to benefit from shared guardianship, your son does too.

Anyway, here's the standard link to Treoir, they might be able to help: http://www.treoir.ie

rambutman

i've been in a similar situation before and what i was basically doing was choosing an easy life for the short term with the long term one uncertain.

You'll be at the mercy of her whims if you carry on like this..............alls good when she's happy...................whats going to happen when she's not happy.

padr81

James Jones wrote: »

No its not. If electrofrog had a RIGHT to be a Guardian, then he would not be in this situation. He has a RIGHT to apply to the Court to become a Guardian. Thats all.

How is it in the best interests of his ex to give up her unilateral control of her child when she doesn't have to? As long as she remains the sole guardian, she can do as she pleases.
How is it in electrofrog's interest to rock the relatively steady boat he is in for a worthless piece of paper? Remember, Guardianship is great if it is respected but most authorities-institutions simply don't respect it.

Theres no judge in the country that will deny him his guardianship as long as he's not mad or a drug addict or something so it is his right and he will get it.

As for the second part hes not rocking the boat, hes getting what he's entitled too.

If his ex is going to make it difficult for him, its shows what she's really like and I for one wouldn't trust a steady boat with a control freak captain to stay steady for too long. He should do it and do it now, before its too late. Theres tons of things that could happen, like his ex be in an accident, meet another person or just decide she's moving away.
Its a bit late worrying about not rocking said steady boat if its already sailed to England or Australia where what little chance he has in totally gone.