college not what i hoped for :(

LegacyUser

Im in college at the moment and its just not what I hoped for. The actual course is interesting and I really like it but everything else is just not going good. It feels like everyone of my friends is having a wild time and going out loads in college(theyre all in galway and cork) and I havnt even been out yet!
The people on my course are all nice to me but it seems like there already in their own little groups and have been out together already. It doesnt help that the one person Im friendly with in the class is 17 and so cant go out. To make matters worse, Im staying with my uncle in kilmainham so I dont even get the craic or chance to meet people to go out with by living with them etc. I just feel like Im missing the whole college experience.
I was thinking of asking a few of the girls to go out with me but since they all live on the southside Id have to get a taxi home on my own and my uncle said this really isnt safe for a girl...is this true? I just feel like im missing out so much!
Do many people make friends thru societies..? The societies festival is starting in a few days, and I will join some, but I always thought people made the majority of their friends on the course...

Sarn

Allow some time for things to settle down. Initially, people tend to hang around with those they went to school with, but as the weeks go by they branch out. Tutorials, practicals etc. should give you a chance to get to know your class mates better. You could also suggest going for coffee or lunch between lectures and then build from there.

In order to kickstart things, clubs and societies are a good alternative. It'll give you another crowd to hang out with and the chance to get to know people outside your class.

Diagonally

As Sam said, give it time. It's only a few weeks in and you'll find it easier as you settle in. Chances are you're not the only one feeling this way - start by chatting to people as you wait for lectures to start etc.

And definitely join some societies. Don't worry, it'll get much easier

Cherry_Angel

Talking from experience, I was in a similar situation. Get involved in societies or clubs. Go along to the meetings religiously and you will see the difference.

Give yourself a few weeks

quiz

Get stuck into the socs and clubs. Simple as that.

Lollipops23

I lived on the northside and went to college on the southside- if you make the effort you can totally enjoy the social life that goes with college. I know I did!
With regards to getting taxis, as long as you're savvy about it- that means making sure it's a legit taxi and letting your friends know when you're home safe etc, I don't see it as a problem. If you can afford it and it makes going out with your friends easier I say go for it.

username123

Agree with the other posters.

On taxis, make sure the taxi has a roof sign, with a number displayed on it, and if you can get one that also has a company name on top - so much the better. Text the taxi number to a friend or your uncle (the number is on the roof sign, and is also displayed on a sheet on the dashboard somewhere - this is by law), let the driver know youre doing it - its not a problem - I have always done it (or sometimes with no credit i pretended to do it) - it just means that the taxi man knows that someone knows you got into HIS taxi. Any decent taxi man wouldnt mind you doing that, and if he does mind, get out of the taxi.

LegacyUser

i thank god every time i see a girl have to think about this stuff that i pee standing up.

the flip side is that if you are going to be spending money on taxis by yourself it might be financially better or near breakeven to rent a room with a few girls near where you will be spending most of your time.

getting a job, even one day on the weekend, to put towards this cost would be better than living with the uncle on the other side of the city imo and I lived in Inchicore for a while and the area does not have much going on.

face1990

It's early days yet. Don't worry about it too much, but do put in the effort to get chatting to people in your class. Use any opportunity to socialise with your class group and if there aren't any opportunities, make them.

colman1212

Move into a college house if you can afford it at all, You''ll have a lot more fun and make lots more friends...

baby and crumble

OP, I was pretty much exactly like you when I moved up to the city. My big advice is to find a society you like the look of (or a couple!) and really throw yourself into them. I didn't make too many friends in my course (TBH spending all day with people and going out with them too would have wrecked my head) but the friends I made in societies are still the friends I have kept from college. I even met my gf there, 8 years ago. We never would have met were it not for society involvement.

As for the taxi thing, I've never had an issue. If your Uncle is worried, tell him you'll be getting a taxi at 1.30am, and then keep him up to date with texts if you want til you get home. Better still, be on the phone to someone as you get into the cab, and stay on the phone til you get home.

Oh, and by the way- I bet you your friends in Cork & Galway are fudging the truth a little bit. I bet they're feeling a bit lost too but just won't admit it!

lace

Hi OP! I know it seems like college is supposed to be all about drinking and going out and partying and all that but (although that aspect is fun) it's not the be-all and end-all. Sometimes it can seem like everyone else is partying it up, living the "college lifestyle" and making loads of new friends but, in reality, lots of people struggle to fit in and have fun - especially in the beginning.

If your class has elected a class rep then maybe you could try going to him/her and suggesting he/she organises a class night out. It will give you a chance to get talking to the whole group in a social setting away from college. I know it may seem like they've all settled into little groups of friends already but it doesn't mean these people will shun you. Have a chat between classes or sit with them at lunch.

Find a few societies you like the look of and join up! You'll be able to meet people with similar interests and you'll get to go on nights out etc too. Going out to clubs and pubs isn't the only kind of socializing that goes on in college - there's plenty to do during the daytime and evening too! Sports societies will have practice, music societies will have music classes/events etc. Getting involved in things in the early evening will give you a way to socialize and make friends without having to worry about getting home.

As for the taxi issue - other posters have made excellent points about how to be sure you're being as safe as possible when getting home.

Fooker

Yes join societies. Best thing I did last year. Some of them will be a bit yano annoying, but go to a few and you will find the one with all the sound people eventually...

MacieC

Dear OP,

Usually, college is a bit overwhelming at first, it's a bit of a tough crowd to be honest. Especially if you go there alone it can really swallow you.

However, you shouldn't be passive and waiting on people to come and knock at your door, because that's not gonna happen ! You should join societies and be active in these. Societies set up a lot of nights out and other activities where you'll be able to meet a bunch of people.

Join societies and don't hesitate to talk to people during tutorials, that's also a way to meet some nice people.

Don't be passive, you'll meet plenty of people, and needn't care what they think about you because college is deffo not like secondary.

qwertytlk

college not what I hoped for wrote: »

I was thinking of asking a few of the girls to go out with me but since they all live on the southside Id have to get a taxi home on my own and my uncle said this really isnt safe for a girl...is this true?

as long as you get into a properly licenced taxi then you should be fine. Let your friends know your getting a taxi, or text your uncle and tell him. But seriously iv been getting taxis all over dublin city for years and never had a problem. Just trust your instincts and if you feel the need or your uncle does then take down the licence number and text him with it when you get in. And always Get dropped to your front door.
As for the other things you mentioned, trust me it wll work itself out. Just hang in there. I was in a similar situation and joined societies and it really helped as you will find alot of other people joining up are in a similar situation. Also as the year progresses people will start to move away from the groups they seem to be in at the moment (as they are usually people who knew each other from school etc and are just hanging round together for the sake of it!) and make new friends. Best of luck