Whats her problem

LegacyUser

I've just recently started to go out with a girl after I was in a pretty sh!tty relationship. There was a few months of a gap and I knew I was ready to start dating again.

My new girlfriend has brought up that she doesn't think I'm over my ex, she did ask a lot about her. I couldn't give two f*cks about my ex and the thoughts of her disgust me. She also has a lot of negative things to say about me, even though they are small they all add up and are starting to get me down. Everything from how I eat to going on about a pair of jeans I wore that she didn't like. The more recently she got upset because her expectations in the bedroom weren't being fulfilled. We never talked about it up to now so I thought I was doing alright. Never had complains from other women either.

I really like this girl otherwise, she's pretty, intelligent but I get the impression she's not happy with me but don't understand if that's the case then why is she with me in the first place.

Not sure quite what to do.

Miss Fluff

And you're with this girl because...?

You either are going through a run of bad luck or just have appalling taste in women. Rather than feeling ready to date again and going for the first (unsuitable) woman who catches your eye why don't you take some time out to decide what it is you want in a girl and have a think about what a relationship should be based on instead, i.e. attraction, mutual respect etc...

It's only very early days and this chick is criticising your sexual prowess, what you wear and how you eat?? Are you that desperate to be back in a relationship?

gmac102

If that was me, and she treated me like that id be gone like a hot snot! Like who is she to tell you what way to wear your jeans!

I am a friend

Run, run like the wind...

thefeatheredcat

Confused guest wrote: »

She also has a lot of negative things to say about me, even though they are small they all add up and are starting to get me down.

^^ that is your get out clause. She's insecure about your ex, convincing herself and yourself you're still hung up on her, and constantly bringing you down, chopping away at your self esteem?

She sounds like a destructive person who is unhappy with herself and projecting it on you - and immature too.

If she has issues about what you wear, how you eat and stuff in the bedroom the logical and intelligent thing to do is sit down and talk it out, not cut away at your self esteem and self worth! Unless in actual fact she is talking about herself in her projections of how she feels about herself, but either way, a negative person like that is a major downer and will stop you from being happy and will always, always bring you down.

Long term, if those small things are starting to get to you now, and you're feeling bad as a result already, then you will probably be a lot worse off with some negative person like that chipping away at you. Give yourself some more credit and realise you deserve better than someone who comes across as being out to cut your self worth! Life's too short to put up with that!

Neyite

Yikes!

If this is what she is like after a short time, she will be a right harpy when the honeymoon stage is over. It wont be worth it in the long term and its not worth it even now. She has bunny boiler potential written all over her. :eek:

ABajaninCork

Oh dear, oh dear.

She doesn't sound very nice. Not sure how old you are, but from what you've said, I'd venture you're both very young.

I'd leg it now if I were you. First your jeans, then your bedroom prowess. Next she'll be on to your friends. The girl sounds very controlling and immature to me.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys

We're in our late 20's , early 30's.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I'm with the rest here. Run like the wind. The fact that you're late 20/30's and she's acting like this means it's not going to get any better in time, she should have learned how to not be a bitch by now and yet that's what she is. You're only out of a relationship and need some TLC I'd say and not a load of critisism, she sounds like a total headwrecker. So yeah get out of that asap.

Best of luck.

i agree if she is complaining about you already things dont look good for the future!!

maybe this just isnt the girl for you!

one little thing though, she said she doesnt think you are over your ex, why? did she give you reasons why she thought this?
only wondering because i was with a guy myself for a long time and always had my doubts that he was over his ex, or not even over her, just that he hadnt sorted himself out properly after that relationship. he had a ****ty one too. he always said he couldnt care less about her.

anyway fast forward a year, and it became obvious, to me anyway, that he wasnt totally over it, and he couldnt be 100% with us when there was something else at the back of his mind.
i dont believe he was aware it was a problem though!

im not saying she is right, she doesnt sound very nice, but maybe there may be some truth in what she says?

if your sure there is not, get rid of her!!! there are plenty of people who will want to be with you who wont put you down!!

LegacyUser

Ok, going to be really honest here so please dont take it the wrong way but she sounds like one of these people who will never be happy. She either doesnt like being on her own so just jumps from relationship to relationship with whoever comes along despite wheater they are right orr wrong for her or she is trying recreate an ex or somone in you. Ether way my advice would be to run for the hills before she destroys your confidence.