Why is ex acting like this? :/

wivy

Broken up about two months from the ex now...
He ended our two year relationship out of the blue with a cold 5 minute phonecall... To this day I have received no explanation... simply 'i still find it hard to explain'..
V. hard to take that he did not have the respect or decency to meet me and explain himself...
I have not made any contact with him and I wont....
We are still friends on facebook and there about three weeks ago he uploaded a load of photos of himself and a girl he was meeting before me... (The photos were like three years old from before we went out/and the same guy NEVER ONCE uploaded photos to facebook in the two years we were together) He knows I didnt like this girl mainly because the two of them had been together for a while before... The other day he had comments up on a video about 'having a super beautiful girlfriend, shes so modest, shes the most beautiful girl in the world' (It looked like a girl had fraped him and written it on his page) Two seconds later after two of the comments were posted he blocked me from his wall and page...
I cant help but think he cheated on me with the girl he was seeing before me... I feel now like the last two years were an absolute joke... My friends say the post is still up on facebook for the whole of our friends to see (apart from me).... He's making me look like an idiot? I just dont get why he feels the need to rub everything in even more... Cant believe I was such an idiot for two years... Why is he making things more difficult for me by acting this way.... He just doesnt seem to have an ounce of decency/respect for me... how could I have been such a bad judge of character?

Would appreciate anyones thoughts on the situation..
wiv

Taltos

Actually the only one he is making look like an idiot is himself.

Do yourself a favour - drop all contact - sever all ties - that includes defriending from facebook or whatever.

Whatever he does now as harsh as this is - you have to ignore, it is no longer any of your business. So what if he cheated on you - it says books about him - nothing about you though. The best of us can be lied to - we are not accountable for some idiot of an ex acting like a plank.

Do what you can to distract yourself - go out with your friends - but do all you can to put him and his little facebook updates out of your mind. If he was cheating, actually even if he wasn't - the way he broke up with you tells me you had a lucky escape from an immature child - you deserve better!

tallaghtmick

He's trying to make you jealous for what reason I dont know.

wivy

tallaghtmick wrote: »

He's trying to make you jealous for what reason I dont know.

iv since had a few comments or that from other guys who are friends on my facebook .... but since he was the one who broke up with me I dont see why they should be bothering him....
i think the fact that he's blocked me from his page makes me think he's tryin to hide his new woman... but then he didnt block any of my v.close friends and surely he knows id ask them whats up on his page? he cant be that stupid.. but then again...
this guy thinks he is a god... maybe he thinks I should be at home in bed crying about him or making contact.... oh i just dont know...
i havent deleted him from facebook or retaliated by blocking him back because i think thats what he wants... think im just goin to leave him hang there and see that Im living life happily without him.... what ya think?
thanks for your posts guys

G-Money

Sorry to hear that OP, but I'd say just forget about him and move on. Stop torturing yourself and analysing everything. It's done and dusted and there's no point dwelling on the past.

Regards him ending it via a phone call, each to their own. My own opinion is that you don't necessary have to meet someone face to face to end things. It depends on the length of the relationship. Obviously I don't think you'd end a marriage out of the blue with a phone call, but if it's something else it might be ok, but again it depends how long the people are together and how serious they actually were.

I think a lot of people say its about "respect" or whatever. But my own feelings is that someone only wants it done face to face if they don't want to break up and they think if the person see's them they won't go through with it. Which isn't really a long term solution and it's just a case of kicking the can down the road a bit. Not saying that is you OP, but I think a lot of people fall into that category. But again that is just my own opinion.

I'd say just forget about him, delete him off your Facebook and block him and be done with it. Delete his number and whatever else you have of him. The relationship is over, start to put it behind you and move on.

All the best.

DelilahsDelight

wivy wrote: »

Im living life happily without him.... what ya think?

I think that you are kidding yourself. You clearly still have feelings for him. If I were you, I'd be blocking him from your facebook too and try and forget him

Miss Fluff

wivy wrote: »

this guy thinks he is a god... maybe he thinks I should be at home in bed crying about him or making contact.... oh i just dont know.QUOTE]

He sounds like such an egotistical pr1ck it probably really galls him that you never contacted him again after his phonecall. Well done on showing such restraint and dignity, I bet part of him was absolutely gutted that you didn't come running after him.

I know you don't want it to seem like you are reacting in any way but I really don't see why you'd still have him on your Friends list in Facebook....madness He's treated you like sh1t so why even let him be privvy to your life via Facebook? Delete and block him and thank your lucky stars you're not with him anymore.

wivy

G-Money wrote: »

Regards him ending it via a phone call, each to their own. My own opinion is that you don't necessary have to meet someone face to face to end things.

I think a lot of people say its about "respect" or whatever. But my own feelings is that someone only wants it done face to face if they don't want to break up and they think if the person see's them they won't go through with it. Which isn't really a long term solution and it's just a case of kicking the can down the road a bit. Not saying that is you OP, but I think a lot of people fall into that category. But again that is just my own opinion.

I would have to totally disagree... He was a HUGE part of my life for two years.. We lived in each others pockets.... I think it is hugely disrespectful to not even give me an explanation or to talk things through with me... i really think it was the least i deserved after two years... Maybe we could have been friends down the line, and things wouldnt be so bitter if he had the balls to meet me and talk things through with me...

Elmidena

OP I beg to differ; he's not making you look like an idiot, he's letting you see why you're a million times better off without him! Is this the guy you'd have grown old with or had kids and a marriage with? His alarming childish behaviour is quite the wakeup call that you got a lucky escape when you were cut adrift.

Something to keep in mind: he can only get to you if you let him. You were blocked moments after what you think was a frape--probably wasn't him at the keyboard and possibly he doesn't know you're blocked as afaik you have to scrounge around in settings to see your block list; he'd have no reason to do that out of the blue surely? But tbh, is this the sort of stuff you want access to? The photos are old and maybe the girl was egging him on in a bid to get his confidence going, or so you could see he was happy and hopefully not remember the pictures were ancient. You've done nothing wrong though OP, so just take the time out to enjoy yourself with a hobby to distract you until you feel less raw

wivy

DelilahsDelight wrote: »

I think that you are kidding yourself. You clearly still have feelings for him. If I were you, I'd be blocking him from your facebook too and try and forget him

i no i still have some feelings for him... its still early days..
but maybe ye are all right... time to delete.... i have completely deleted his number and his facebook is the last link between us.. think im just prob reluctant to break the last link... but perhaps the time has come....

G-Money

wivy wrote: »

I would have to totally disagree... He was a HUGE part of my life for two years.. We lived in each others pockets.... I think it is hugely disrespectful to not even give me an explanation or to talk things through with me... i really think it was the least i deserved after two years... Maybe we could have been friends down the line, and things wouldnt be so bitter if he had the balls to meet me and talk things through with me...

Fair enough, but did he not give you a reason when he spoke on the phone? He obviously wanted to end things so even if he did it face to face, what would there have been to talk through? How would things ultimately be any different? Would you still be together? Probably not.

You mention being friends, but is that what you really want or just something to tide you over in the hope that you might get back together? A lot of people confuse the two, or to be honest, just won't admit that it's the latter.

wivy

G-Money wrote: »

Fair enough, but did he not give you a reason when he spoke on the phone? He obviously wanted to end things so even if he did it face to face, what would there have been to talk through? How would things ultimately be any different? Would you still be together? Probably not.

You mention being friends, but is that what you really want or just something to tide you over in the hope that you might get back together? A lot of people confuse the two, or to be honest, just won't admit that it's the latter.

He gave me no explanation.. His mother rang me a while after and said that he had said to her that 'he's too young'... but she has since called me again and said she thinks he has cheated aswell and is meeting someone else... I just would have liked an explanation I suppose G-Money.. instead of all this uncertainty goin on in my head and the wondering and the thinking about if I had done something differently... He had once promised me the sun, moon and stars... We had just paid to go on a holiday to london during the week... just all v. confusing...

I guess your right... If we were friends maybe I would have had that secret hope we would get back together... probably better off now that I dont have that link/option..... thanks for your insight

Novella

You said it yourself, OP - he doesn't have any respect for you. To break up with someone you've been with for 2 years over the phone is just cold. The least you deserved here was for him to take the time out of his day to actually meet you face to face to end things.

I have an ex similar to this - self absorbed beyond belief, to the point that no other persons feelings ever factor into his actions. You just need to believe that this is your lucky break. You don't really want to be with someone like him.

As you have already been advised, cut all contact. Keep reminding yourself that your ex does not deserve one more second of your time. He truly doesn't. Whether he cheated or not, it's irrelevant now.

wivy

Thank you guys...
He is now officially DELETED!
Thanks for all your advice!

wivy

And have just found out he did cheat on me via his brothers gf with a polish girl and is now goin out with her... Idiot much

SheRa

Why are you an idiot? You didn't cheat, you didn't dump him in a phonecall, you haven't acted like a fool on facebook. Your ex is the only idiot here hun.

Mind yourself, you deserve way better than him (tho Im sure it doesnt feel like that now).

Novella

wivy wrote: »

And have just found out he did cheat on me via his brothers gf with a polish girl and is now goin out with her... Idiot much

You're not an idiot. Him cheating is just another thing to add to the list of reasons you are way better off now. I know it's easier said than done but try put him to the back of your mind. Focus your energy on you now, do things that make you happy. You will get over this.