I want to move out

LegacyUser

I want to move out of my family home. I'm 17, 18 in February but I am so fed up of my parents and living with them. Thing is though, I'm only in 6th year at school. What should I do?

Bloody Nipples

unregistered wrote: »

What should I do?

Have you got a job that pays enough to afford rent?
If not stay at home, stay in school, study hard and go to college/trade/whatever.

What are your issues with your parents anyway? Everyone fights with their parents at 17. Are your issues any different to the usual? You're just beginning to assert your independence but it's a gradual process and you have to take some time to grow into personal responsibility.

BattleCorp

Hi.

To be honest, at your age it will be difficult for you to move out unless you have a good job and are pretty much more mature than most 18 - 20 year olds. You don't have the job so I think your idea of moving out is a non-runner.

Independent living doesn't come cheap or easy.

If you are having rows at home, I'd try and resolve them. To be quite blunt, you can't really afford to move out seeing as you are still in school.

I am a friend

If you want to move out then go get a job and do so... If not, then i would suggest you accept that your parents are funding your schooling, food, accommodation and you be thankful for same.

On top of that you should be doing your best to get on with everyone at home until you move out.

DazMarz

Unless you have a job where it will pay enough so that you can afford rent, ESB, gas/heat, groceries, bin collections and so many other miscellaneous expenses (internet, phone, Sky/UPC/cable, etc.) plus some money to have a social life... I'm sorry to say, you have no hope of moving out of your home. Not to sound too negative, but it's the truth.

I've got a few years on you (I'm 23), and even at that, I'm not that experienced with living life. I only moved out of my parents' house for the first time about 7 months ago, and this was with the knowledge I had a very steady income and would be able to afford everything that I needed and some things that I wanted. You really need to get a safe, steady and fairly well-paying job to fund moving out... and safe, steady and well-paying jobs are not exactly flying about out there at the minute, and especially not to 18 year olds without even a Leaving Cert and who are still in secondary school.

The main catalyst for me moving out of my parents' house was similar to yourself; fights with them all the time and just getting under each others' skin constantly.

Also, another thing to bear in mind... it will take a good bit of time to move all your stuff to another house, so unless you have a car or a very willing friend who has a car, also plan for this. Moving your stuff takes a good bit of time and effort, so plan ahead.

I really hope I've not been too negative, but these are some home truths you need to hear. If you can't move out, try to improve your own situation at home.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

why do people always try to discourage anyone inexperienced who wants to achieve something. save up your deposit while in school, any crap job will cover rent and all the other stuff like bins.

I moved out when I was 19, anything I didn't know, I learned. it's pretty easy if you have a job, go around you local restaurants everywhere, look for kitchen porter job, this is ideal for school as the hours will always be evenings and weekend.

Some people obviously move out late in life and find independence quite a challenge, so they'll attack anyone's attempt to downplay their efforts, truth is if you're half way motivated it's possible and very much attainable.

Good luck.

dafunk

I moved out at 17, was still in school. I got a part time job while still in school, did my leaving and then continued to third level. I worked extremely hard to cover rent, bills, food, drinking money etc on top of studying in a very demanding course and paying fees in college. It was a difficult difficult slog but I managed it. I was very determined though but believe me, it was not easy.

I say go for it, but make sure it isn't to the detriment of your future. What I mean is, should you want to go to college and think you'll find it hard to do that as well as working then you should think very carefully about your decision.

Zen65

unregistered wrote: »

I want to move out of my family home. I'm 17, 18 in February but I am so fed up of my parents and living with them. Thing is though, I'm only in 6th year at school. What should I do?

The question of what you should do can really only be answered here sensibly if you can share with us why you are so fed up living with your parents. Context in this case really is everything.

Be at peace,

Z

Giselle

OP, at your age and stage in life your options are very limited. For your futures sake you have to stay in school and get some qualifications afterwards. Realistically, you're not at a stage to leave home just yet.

Lots of people your age feel the same way, and if you're not facing abuse or danger at home (whole different story) then your best avenue of action is to work on improving relations with your folks. Try to engage them in a dialogue about compromises, try not to fly off the handle, try not to come across as a child wanting their own way because they'll just treat you like a child if you do.

Show them you're sensible, mature and responsible and they'll trust you enough to get off your back. Its also good training for life

Think about ways to open up communication, try to compromise, and remember that it'll pass.

Good luck.

Walshers

Can I move out at 17 without parents consent?
Can my parents do anything?
Answers would be greatly appreciated

ABajaninCork

Legally, you can't move without consent until you're 18. Your parents could call the Gards and have you brought back. But as you're 17, I don't think too much will be made of it. When are you 18? Might be best to wait until then.

And I'd be looking very carefully at the answers above. It's doable, but VERY tough if you don't have some kind of income. I left home at 18, and it wasn't easy believe me. Spent the first month sleeping on a friend's floor. Then had to get money from the DHSS in the UK to help pay the rent. After all that, I had the princely sum of £6 to last me the week.

Think about this VERY carefully.

Walshers

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Legally, you can't move without consent until you're 18. Your parents could call the Gards and have you brought back. But as you're 17, I don't think too much will be made of it. When are you 18? Might be best to wait until then.

And I'd be looking very carefully at the answers above. It's doable, but VERY tough if you don't have some kind of income. I left home at 18, and it wasn't easy believe me. Spent the first month sleeping on a friend's floor. Then had to get money from the DHSS in the UK to help pay the rent. After all that, I had the princely sum of £6 to last me the week.

Think about this VERY carefully.

Thank you so much for your answer I've a job and I'm not in school anymore I have a weekly income of 265€ every week and I want to go live with my boyfriend he has a steady job and a high income too.
I'm fine about the housing and costs
I'm just worried to know can my parents do anything to stop me moving out
Thank you so much again

ABajaninCork

Don't rely on your BF's high income! YOU need to be able to stand on your own two feet and pay equal shares. And from the sound of it, I don't think you are. E256 is very little money to rent, socialise, buy clothes and live on.

Always have 'vex' money to hand. That way, if things go 'tits up' you have money to give yourself some breathing space. What's the big rush? If you're working now, then start saving. Get that money into the Credit Union. A lot can happen between now and your 18th birthday. God forbid - you could even split up by then.

Plan this well. Otherwise, this could end up in tears.

dafunk

I did it. Was sixteen. Worked part time jobs, studied hard in the leaving. Worked lkke crazy all through college to pay rent, fees etc. It was very difficult but it worked for me. Be under no illusion. It won't be easy. It's tough when your free and easy friends are organising nights out etc and you can't partake because you've got electricity bills to contend with...stuff that most 17 year olds just don't get. Also, bear in mind that while you may be earning money now will you still be able to work when your leaving cert is approaching (guessing you've finished fifth year?). Also, you would want to be sure about your bf. Will he support your study etc. While in school? I ended up in a bedsit with my boyfriend who turned into a coke head and had a gang of mates around all the time... not conducive to early morning school starts and studying.

Best of luck. Don't burn your bridges with your folks no mattet what happens.

anonanon103

The grass isnt always greener, enjoy home life while you can nothing about living away from home

Zen65

Walshers wrote: »

Thank you so much for your answer I've a job and I'm not in school anymore I have a weekly income of 265€ every week and I want to go live with my boyfriend he has a steady job and a high income too.
I'm fine about the housing and costs

With that income you cannot be fine about housing and costs; you can only make yourself entirely dependent on your bf, which is a very high-risk strategy for a woman of any age but exceptionally high-risk for a woman of your age.

As I posted to the original OP, you won't get good advice here without explaining why you feel the urge to move out. If there is an abusive relationship in the home then moving out may not resolve the matter, but it could be an understandable motivation. If your desire to move out is because you want to be with your bf then I'd say that is very poor reasoning, and will endanger the trust in your parental relationship. Perhaps you want to move out because your parents do not approve of your bf? The best advice is only available if you offer enough information to make the advice reasonable and balanced.

I echo my fellow poster here in advising caution against burning bridges with your parents.

Be at peace,

Z