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The ex

  • 22-09-2011 9:39am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey guys,
    I wrote here going back about 3/4 months ago about a situation with my then girlfriend. I was living with her and we had alot of issues basically with her manipulating and having to be in control all the time. Its been 3 months since we broke up ( she broke up with me initally) and now all she does is hound me.

    now i havent been with anyone since because it didnt really interest me to be honest any night i have gone out its just about having the craic with my friends. althought there is this one girl that im starting to like. But the other day my ex turned up out of the blue in hysterics, crying getting sick shaking :( begging me to give her a shot. saying she had changed and she felt so much guilt about the way she treated me..

    I know in my heart i dont want to get back with her, was badly burnt by her too many times, was with her for almost 4 years and im only 23.. so cant see myself going back there. What i need help with is how do i let her down gently?? or what do i say?? im lost at the moment because i do still love her and hate to see her like this. im really worried about how her reaction will be if she knows im moving on .

    Thanks in advance ,


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - you cannot let her down gently - these hysteronics are yet another example of her trying to manipulate you.

    You have to be crystal clear - no room for any wiggle. With someone close by meet up and state the following.
    1. I have NO interest in any relationship with you.
    2. I will NEVER have any relationship with you going forwards.
    3. NEVER contact me again.
    4. Goodbye.

    Then stand and leave.
    Suggest you also change your contact details. She is not going to let this drop and I would expect her to escalate the above even going so far as to threaten her own safety....


  • #3
    Tefral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,410 ✭✭✭Tefral


    My advice on this is simple. Give her some tough love and tell her to feck off.

    Its not ment to be that hard when ye are only starting out. Ask yourself this: how would you feel if you were 30 after spending the next 7 years with her and you broke up? My feeling is that you would feel like you wasted your 20's.

    Go out and enjoy yourself, sample the local goods and forget about her. You'll be doing her a favour aswell. Just cut all contact with her. And when your telling her your gone, do it in a mutual place, not at yours or hers, makes things to complicated for when you turn your heels and walk.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks guys,

    yep your right dead sunflower was that same thread! :) its been so tough because we are from the same place.. shes making it out that i am breaking her heart and im heartless.. so guess my head is all over the place at the moment and the lads i talk to really dont understand.. she already said she was feeling low and couldnt live without me so thats playing on my mind alot..


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