Where to meet non-camp guys?

eaglach

I am a guy in his early twenties, partially out of the closet and looking to move further out by meeting some guys similar to myself. So that is early twenties, living in Dublin and not camp.

I've nothing against camp guys at all but I just feel I could relate to "straight acting" guys better.

I have tried gaydar but you dont need me to tell you what thats like. What are places like the front lounge like? Or are there gay nights in night clubs? I've heard of something called WAR. Is that any good?

Also, is there anywhere besides a pub or nightclub to meet similar guys? I'll assume someone will suggest Emerald Warriors or something, but dont plan on joining any sports team in the near future!

Cheers.

Coeurdepirate

When you find out, let me know.

TylerIE

eaglach wrote: »

I am a guy in his early twenties, partially out of the closet and looking to move further out by meeting some guys similar to myself. So that is early twenties, living in Dublin and not camp.

I've nothing against camp guys at all but I just feel I could relate to "straight acting" guys better.

I have tried gaydar but you dont need me to tell you what thats like. What are places like the front lounge like? Or are there gay nights in night clubs? I've heard of something called WAR. Is that any good?

Also, is there anywhere besides a pub or nightclub to meet similar guys? I'll assume someone will suggest Emerald Warriors or something, but dont plan on joining any sports team in the near future!

Cheers.

Do you go out "on the scene" at all?

War in Andrew's lane is ok, but TBH most of the attendees wouldnt really be labelled straight acting. There are a lot of straight guys, but they are actually straight. Saturday night there can be semi gay friendly.

Prhomo on Thursdays in Dragon is probably a pretty good night. A lot of non-camp people attended it when it was in its last venue (about 9 months ago), but I think the crowd is still pretty similar. There is a lot of very straight acting gay / bi guys who are not Irish nationals who would be on the scene a lot.

Glitz on Tuesdays in Dandelion used to have a few "straight acting" guys at it. Iv barely been since it moved to Dandelion but when it was in Break for the Border. Its location can be pretty good for getting guys who break away from their group of friends on way to coppers etc. I have friends who do this but often they aint really into deep long term relationships so be careful if thats what your after!

Front Lounge is very relaxed and gay friendly. Panti would be the same.

The George on Wednesdays (kinda student night) can have a good crowd in late teens and early twenties.

However have you considered volunteering? Outhouse, the various festivals, perhaps GCN, LGBT Noise, Marriage Equality? Are you in college? Did you consider BeLonGTo the youth group - its mainly 14-23s.

While you mightnt find anybody relationship wise in the above groups, particularly BeLonGTo (its a youth group), there you can expand your circle of friends within the LGBT community, and perhaps ultimately meet someone who is a friend of a friend...

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
This attitude is very prevalent amongst people coming out.

"I only like masculine people."

"I don't like queens."

Well to be honest you should just get yourself out there. Some of the people who you deem as camp are actually some of the bravest well adjusted people you might meet.

when you go out try and think about how you would like to meet people.

do you want to make friends or are you just interested in meeting people who you imagine you are sexually attracted to.??

Would you ask where can you meet people who are not fat or only people who have a nice arse.??

There is a mix of people wherever you go and you should discount any of them before you get to know them.

DubArk

I have to agree with the last poster…. My partner and I met some time ago and I wouldn’t put either of us in the “CAMP Brigade” and yet we met in Heaven (Londons home to various gay and mixed dance music nights), where the place was wall to wall, one of the campest places I have ever been.

You can’t exclude others at your expense, just cause you don’t fancy camp guys! There are places that do cater for Leather, denim and so forth but I don’t know if your thinking on those lines and anyway not sure if these places are here in Ireland.

If you're only coming out, my advise is to be more inclusive and don’t bring such baggage with you, for the forest is made of many trees!


*opps does that sound camp!*;)

Killer Pigeon

Would "masculine" be more PC than "straight acting"? If you're "straight acting" then that would imply that you act as though you like people from the opposite-sex.

Anyhow, I hear WAR @ Andrews Lane Theatre on Fridays (ALT) isn't a bad place to start OP (well that's what I heard anyway). I hear there's sort of a mixed crowd there.

shannon_tek

While im here.
Can ya just point out is it
Camp means Gay but straight acting and
Non-Camp is the feminine gay

Just its come up a few times in convo and im lost :P

unfortunately

shannon_tek wrote: »

While im here.
Can ya just point out is it
Camp means Gay but straight acting and
Non-Camp is the feminine gay

Just its come up a few times in convo and im lost :P

Your 100% right except that it is the opposite of what you said.:P
Camp is the effeminate extravagant one; but you don't have to be gay - straight men can be camp too.

stephen_n

Try joining one of the clubs obviously being slightly biased I'd suggest the emerald warriors but there are gay friendly sporting clubs in most sports now!

gibson

Just go out wrote: »

Hi OP,
This attitude is very prevalent amongst people coming out.

In fairness to the OP its got nothing to do with coming out. Ive been out for years and Im exactly the same as he has described - not camp and not effeminate and I find Im just not attracted to guys who would be camp. Same way others might be attracted to Bears, I wouldnt be. Its just peoples different tastes. if we all liked the same the world would be boring

Sonics2k

Just go out wrote: »

Hi OP,
This attitude is very prevalent amongst people coming out.

"I only like masculine people."

"I don't like queens."

Well to be honest you should just get yourself out there. Some of the people who you deem as camp are actually some of the bravest well adjusted people you might meet.

when you go out try and think about how you would like to meet people.

do you want to make friends or are you just interested in meeting people who you imagine you are sexually attracted to.??

Would you ask where can you meet people who are not fat or only people who have a nice arse.??

There is a mix of people wherever you go and you should discount any of them before you get to know them.

To be fair, it could just be a personality preference.

For example, I can't stand bimbo screechy airheads who giggle a lot and have the overall personality of a depressed goldfish on Ritalin. In this case, the OP isn't attracted to camp guys as such.

eaglach

Sonics2k wrote: »

To be fair, it could just be a personality preference.

For example, I can't stand bimbo screechy airheads who giggle a lot and have the overall personality of a depressed goldfish on Ritalin. In this case, the OP isn't attracted to camp guys as such.

Exactly. At least someone understands where I'm coming from.

And people comparing it to asking where to find people who are not fat, or have a nice arse, thats completely different. Thats physical appearance. Being camp is a personality trait, one that I dont particularly find appealing!

I dont know how many straight acting guys are on these forums (excuse the term, not accurate I know, but the best way to describe non-camp guys!), but of the ones that are here, where do you go, or do you even bother with gay venues?

shylad

Hey,

C You Next Tuesday (****) is good ,it's restarting this tuesday in Dublin it has a great mix of young people. I've been to WAR, it's good but it can be quite camp!
I also prefer "non-camp people"
Goodluck.

ongarboy

eaglach wrote: »

Exactly. At least someone understands where I'm coming from.

And people comparing it to asking where to find people who are not fat, or have a nice arse, thats completely different. Thats physical appearance. Being camp is a personality trait, one that I dont particularly find appealing!

I dont know how many straight acting guys are on these forums (excuse the term, not accurate I know, but the best way to describe non-camp guys!), but of the ones that are here, where do you go, or do you even bother with gay venues?

It feels like a lot of people on here think straight acting or masculine gay guys are a rare or endangered species. I don't know where you all socialise but I go to Pantibar and Front Lounge a lot and I can tell you that the majority of guys who frequent there do not act, look or dress effeminate or camp. They look, act and dress like any guys you'd see in straight bars (apart from the man to man eye contact of course ). While the clubs like Dragon and George may have a higher ratio of camper guys, there is still loads of masculine type guys in those places.

OP, as per your opening post, you sound like you haven't tested the waters on the Dublin scene yet. Go out there and make your own mind up. You'll find an eclectic mix of different and all types of guys (plenty matching the type you are looking for) in any of the usual gay establishments.

floggg

OP I think you are labouring under the assumption that most gay men are camp and effeminate and that the so called straight acting man is like a needle in a stack of glitter.

Thankfully that's not the case. A few months ago, I would have thought the same as you but after giving 'the scene' a fair shot I found it's just like anywhere else - people come in all shapes and sizes, and all different types of personalities too. Plenty of masculine type lads out there.

Like any other dating situation, you may not find exactly what you want straight away, but you have to get out and meet a few before you find one for you.

And yes, I would be one of those 'straight acting' types and can often be found in the front lounge.

If you aren't interested in joining any of the sports groups, maybe join the forums on queerid or gaire and get to know a few people that way. Might help you find some people with similar interests.

(I say the forums not classifieds as hard to find anybody with more than the sex as an interest on the classifieds so their personality would be a bit irrelevant).

What ever you do though, you'll only get out of it what you put into it yourself. You can't expect these things to fall into your lap!

Sonics2k

floggg wrote: »

OP I think you are labouring under the assumption that most gay men are camp and effeminate and that the so called straight acting man is like a needle in a stack of glitter.

I don't get where people are getting this idea from >.<

All the OP asked was what bars/clubs etc can he find more "straight-acting" guys because he doesn't know of any.

Jeez people, no need to analyze everything someone asks on these forums.

df1985

Dragon i find is ok for meeting non camp guys, few hunks knocking about in there,

floggg

Sonics2k wrote: »

I don't get where people are getting this idea from >.<

All the OP asked was what bars/clubs etc can he find more "straight-acting" guys because he doesn't know of any.

Jeez people, no need to analyze everything someone asks on these forums.

Well I was trying to make the point that they are everywhere that there is other gay men. There's no special pub or club where they are all hiding, and if there is I certainly haven't found it.

If the OP wants to meet any guy, masculine or camp, he's going to have to go somewhere like a gay bar, and go with an open mind (particularly if he isn't interested on joining a sports group).

Unless you know where this mythical room where a the manly gay men hangout (in which case if be very interested in attending).