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Boyfriend and debt

  • 21-09-2011 2:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Well I'll keep this as short as possible. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years adn we're living together 6 months. It is his house and like a lot of people he has fallen into arrears, 30,000 into arrears. He lost his job a few years back and that's when it started. He has a well paying job at the minute but it is not secure, he is making payments now but who knows how long job will last. I do my fair share.

    My problem is that there is a lot of debt. I have a good job and am financially independent and good with money (we never had any when I was growing up). I am starting to feel resentful towards him because of this. There is constantly money worries and stress over this and getting letters from the bank etc There's a lot we can't do together because of the money worries.

    I love him to bits but I can't stop feeling resentful. I'm genunely upset about this so please no comments about just being concerned about money, I'm not but it is a major issue.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation or can offer any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    Kav0777
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 549 ✭✭✭Kav0777


    I don't understand the exact nature of the propblem here. Is he mismanaging is current finances, not dealing with any past problems? What exactly are you resentful of?


  • #3
    analucija
    Closed Accounts Posts: 363 ✭✭analucija


    Firstly, I hope you are paying rent?

    Secondly, financial problems are sometimes hard to deal with but most of us don't have it easy at the moment. You can stay with him and wait for things to get better or leave him. But you can't resent him for not being able to do things because he has to save. Besides if you have money, you can treat him to something every so often.


  • #4
    nicechick!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭nicechick!


    alreadyinuse29 wrote: »
    Hi guys,

    Well I'll keep this as short as possible. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years adn we're living together 6 months. It is his house and like a lot of people he has fallen into arrears, 30,000 into arrears. He lost his job a few years back and that's when it started. He has a well paying job at the minute but it is not secure, he is making payments now but who knows how long job will last. I do my fair share.

    My problem is that there is a lot of debt. I have a good job and am financially independent and good with money (we never had any when I was growing up). I am starting to feel resentful towards him because of this. There is constantly money worries and stress over this and getting letters from the bank etc There's a lot we can't do together because of the money worries.

    I love him to bits but I can't stop feeling resentful. I'm genunely upset about this so please no comments about just being concerned about money, I'm not but it is a major issue.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation or can offer any advice?


    His money worries or shared money worries? sounds like your resentful towards him because you've both obviously had to limit your spending on the lifestyle habits I assume holidays, weekends away etc which is extremely difficult on anyone particularly a romantic relationship


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