Should I be worried???

LegacyUser

Ok, so I've started college a week now and of course I'm a nervous wreck always worrying about making friends. I was fine in secondry school, always talking to someone and had good friends, but most of them are now in a different college. I'm really putting myself out there trying to talk to anyone, most of them are really nice, but I find it annoying how if I talk to someone one day, the next I won't see them again since my classes are so big. I'm usually shy but I know since it's college I'll have to try make an effort but I still haven't made any "proper" friends where I have their numbers or go out together. I haven't gone out at all for my freshers week because I feel really tired because I have classes at 9 every morning, but mostly due to the fact that I'd have no one to go out with. I feel like I'm missing out already hearing everyone talk about going out on such and such a night, it's like I'm a loser or something not doing the same. My "friend" who I was close to in secondry school (although I really think she was just using me) is in the same college as me and already she's gone out a few times and made some friends and even slept over in their houses and got ready together and has loads of pictures on fb already. Seeing those pictures got me thinking, should I be worried that I haven't made any solid friends now it's been a week or is it natural and takes more time?? *sigh* I'm going to try again today and talk to people!!

SlimCi

No I wouldn't worry one bit. A week is hardly any time to settle in and make new friends etc. Remember that everybody is in the same boat feeling nervous and wanting to make friends. Take your time, your friend probably has lots of new acquaintances but no real friends there yet! Make sure to join some societies and get out to meet people:D College is a huge change from school and it takes a bit of adjusting to.

Firetrap

No, not at all. Some people are better than others at making friends. Others have been lucky and have "clicked" with people they like sooner. Keep plugging away and chatting to people. You'll not think it at the moment but your classes will become "smaller" in time. I know when I was at college, people became creatures of habit and you'd often see the same faces sitting in the same seats at lectures. You're only a week there. You've got plenty of time

karen89

just hang in there,and yeh see about joing one of the society - theres one for everything take a look at the notice boards! what about your college mentor i thought all freshers got a student mentor and for the first couple o weeks they are usually wearing mentor t-shirts and they are students usually in second year and would be only too happy to point you in the right direction for societys etc and if my memory is right there is even a "nothing in particiular" society a coffee lovers society a choclate society! Go on - you have nothing to loose and please let us know how you get on!! dont forget us when the social life takes over

homerjay2005

shouldibeworried wrote: »

I haven't gone out at all for my freshers week because I feel really tired because I have classes at 9 every morning,

this is part of the problem i feel. just forget about college for a while and concentrate on the social aspect. i know you said you have a lack of friends, but maybe the above caused it. start talking to people in the lectures and if you are invited out, dont refuse for the sake of a 9am lectures.

college is about the social aspect, the educational part is not important;)

hoodwinked

to be fair, as a mature student this is my second time around, the first time around i made no friends in my class and i hated college as a result.

this time i talked to so many people on orientation day, i asked questions such as what kind of music do you like...etc i found as scared as i was going up to them and saying hi, was as grateful as they were to have someone approach them, i must have talked to about 10 people before i finally found one guy (im a girl) i clicked with, he then introduced the other guy he was talking to,

i then kept talking to random class mates (there is 200 of us) until i found a group of us had some things other then our course in common, by friday there was 7 of us in the group, and one other girl who seems really quiet but we get along. most people by friday afternoon were coming over to us because there was a group of us, and we try and get them feelng included (i guess im trying to make everyone feel welcome cause i knew what it was like knowing no one.)

if i were you i would just go up to random people and say hi, ask a few questions until you find a topic in common to talk about, you may feel nervous or sick to your stomach but trust me its the only way to make friends. and it should help boost your confidence.

Zen65

homerjay2005 wrote: »

college is about the social aspect, the educational part is not important;)

I think that's questionable advice Homerjay! You may be taking your username too seriously

But to be fair, the social side of college is important. If you're doing a very intensive course like Medicine or Engineering etc then you certainly cannot neglect your studies (even for a short time) for the sake of the social scene, but neither should you exclude the social aspect of college from your plans. It does take time to "settle" into a group of friends at college, and the dynamics change all the time during the first year as former schoolmates initially hang together then slowly may break into smaller groups or amalgamate into bigger groups.

Op, be patient and focus on getting to know a wide selection of students from your class as well as people from other faculties through the various Sports Clubs and Societies. Don't try to get out every night of the week, but don't go home straight after lectures / lab every day either.


Be at peace,

Z

homerjay2005

Zen65 wrote: »

I think that's questionable advice Homerjay! You may be taking your username too seriously

i went to college for the good time, attended about 15% of my lectures and ended up still getting my degree. most of my mates the same.

work smart, party hard. college are the best years of your life, no point wasting them in lectures that you learn very little in.