Giving off the wrong impression/online dating

LegacyUser

Ok so I met a guy earlier this week that I had met on an online dating website. I guess we had not really mailed that much but by his profile and pictures he seemed appealing enough to me. When he suggested meeting up I thought ahh well what have I got to lose and then went ahead and met him.

The night seemed to go quite well and we ended kissing and stuff which was pretty fantastic. One of these kissers where you just cant stop or help yourself. I hadnt had that in a while and I cant stop thinking about it. He asked me a few times to go home with him and I refused as Im just not that kinda of woman. I cant stop thinkin about the whole thing and maybe its just me being stupid/lonely or whatever. This guy had depth and intelligence that I havent seen in a person in a long time and I was suprised that he was the type to suggest me going home with him.

I text him today saying basically I hope he didnt take the whole me not going home with him personally and that im not that type and he kinda replied dont be silly saying he was basically chancing his arm.

Should I just take it that thats it and leave it at that or would you guys suggest meeting again to this person. Would you take it that if hes interested he will ask?

Im not the bunny boiler type but cant stop thinking about that night so Im having a wee vent here

dellas1979

Awh crikey - internet dating has alot to answer for around here.....is he Irish?

Couple of questions, because this isnt the first time Ive heard such a guy described - did you meet him on plentyoffish (was it Galway)?

So, ye pashed on the date, you liked him, he wanted more, but you said no (fair play to you), and now he isnt showing any interest?

Maybe it was only one thing he was after then. Have ye had any conversation about meeting up again?

LegacyUser

Yeah I know Im not hugely into the whole internet dating thing. I get ALOT of freaky mails and I guess the attraction to actually meeting this guy is he has relatively normal pictures(no cheesy topless pics -eww) /good profile content(stupid to say that i know!)/ didnt say anything freaky in his messages.

I met him on <snip> yes - but it was in Dublin. Yes I passed on the whole going home with him thing as I thought there was something nice there and about him and I didnt want him to think Im easy. What annoys me is if you act like your easy - its a turn off and if you act like your not - its a turn off. Is there a middle ground? Im quite proud and stand by the decision to not go home with him but Its rediculous that I cant stop thinking about him and his amazing kissing haha.

I needed a rant there and something to snap me out of it! I guess reading your message back there.. its obvious.. he was looking for one thing eh!

dellas1979

Has he contacted you since in a "how are you? Do you want to meet up again?" type of way, or has there been nothing since?

If nothing, at least you got a lurvely snog ehh?

Yes, you are right-you are damned if you do, and damned if you dont.

LegacyUser

Ahh in fairness its me thats texted him. I havent asked him out - obviously im my head Im thinking its pointless as Im sure if hes interested he would do that eh!!

Yep damned if you do and damned if you dont is right!! I dont think I'll ever figure out the right thing to do in those moments

Yeah true haha a fab kiss I should be just thinking...NEXT!

Thanks Dellas

musicinyou

I think the fact he was trying to get you home on the first night is your answer! sounds like hes playing the game but you never got played, you wanna go on a date with someone who is after the same things as you are(not jumping straight into bed, getting to know one another), and you have to ask yourself the question, how many others is there out there in which he's doing the same with. well rid!

onwards and upwards :O) i know you'l find your shining star

pajunior

justasking01 wrote: »

Ahh in fairness its me thats texted him. I havent asked him out - obviously im my head Im thinking its pointless as Im sure if hes interested he would do that eh!!

Yep damned if you do and damned if you dont is right!! I dont think I'll ever figure out the right thing to do in those moments

Yeah true haha a fab kiss I should be just thinking...NEXT!

Thanks Dellas

So you haven't texted him and he hasn't texted you?

If you had a good time and like the guy then why not give him a text asking if he is interested in meeting up. At least you will be able to put your mind at rest.

ash23

Why did you apologise for not going home with him? You've nothing to apologise about and if he (in a roundabout way) has you feeling guilty for not shagging him on the first date, he's not much of a catch.
I very much doubt if you'd gone home with him he'd be showing more interest now.
If he's interested in you he'll try to arrange another date. If not, he won't. And whether you slept with him or not, that would still be the case.