staying home alone

pinkyb

my parents are going away for one night to a hotel and i want to stay by myself and have a few friends over(they dont know about the friends other than my cousin maybe) how do i show them im able to stay alone and convince then ! i really want to just have some friends over for a few hours alone but i dont think my mam will say yes

please no telling me i shouldn't be left alone im 14-nearly 15- and i babysit my brother till like 2am sometimes i do also be left alone during the day and after school
thanks

willmunny1990

pinkyb wrote: »

my parents are going away for one night to a hotel and i want to stay by myself and have a few friends over(they dont know about the friends other than my cousin maybe) how do i show them im able to stay alone and convince then ! i really want to just have some friends over for a few hours alone but i dont think my mam will say yes

please no telling me i shouldn't be left alone im 14-nearly 15- and i babysit my brother till like 2am sometimes i do also be left alone during the day and after school
thanks

If you think youl be left stay alone with just your cousin i wouldnt mention anything to do with other friends coming over.Your parents would be less likely to let you stay on your own in my opinion if they new your were having a few friends over because lets be honest when friends get together like that at your age theres always messing and thats what your parents would be worried about.

If your parents buy that its only you and your cousin then your home free,you could call your friends over when there gone,be aware though if you have relations or family friends near you who could say something back to your folks!We all want to do things like this when were young,just be aware of the consequences of what will happen if you get caught,after that way up the risks and go for it if you feel its worth it.

Wompa1

pinkyb wrote: »

my parents are going away for one night to a hotel and i want to stay by myself and have a few friends over(they dont know about the friends other than my cousin maybe) how do i show them im able to stay alone and convince then ! i really want to just have some friends over for a few hours alone but i dont think my mam will say yes

please no telling me i shouldn't be left alone im 14-nearly 15- and i babysit my brother till like 2am sometimes i do also be left alone during the day and after school
thanks

To be honest if I had a 14 year old daughter I wouldn't leave her and her friends alone in the house for a night either. Don't take it personally, it's just them being good parents.

14-15 is the age a lot of people in this country start drinking. They probably don't want you to slip down that path.

mike65

pinkyb you want to be treated as an adult essentially but you are going to lie about who would be in the house when they are away. Right.

ted1

This time have no friends over. Your intenionally losing their trust. Wait a few times then maybe have friends over

pinkyb

Wompa1 wrote: »

To be honest if I had a 14 year old daughter I wouldn't leave her and her friends alone in the house for a night either. Don't take it personally, it's just them being good parents.

14-15 is the age a lot of people in this country start drinking. They probably don't want you to slip down that path.

they wouldnt know about my friends there because i was going to invited like 3 guys and she'd probably say no ! the thing is nothing would happen they are just mates but parents never believe they can be just friends.
also they wouldnt be staying the night tey would be only there for a few hours

pinkyb

mike65 wrote: »

pinkyb you want to be treated as an adult essentially but you are going to lie about who would be in the house when they are away. Right.

but you see sometimes they treat me like an adult and tell me to act like an adult but at the same time if they are not trusting me then why should i act like an adult......????

Neyite

pinkyb wrote: »

my parents are going away for one night to a hotel and i want to stay by myself and have a few friends over(they dont know about the friends other than my cousin maybe) how do i show them im able to stay alone and convince then ! i really want to just have some friends over for a few hours alone but i dont think my mam will say yes

please no telling me i shouldn't be left alone im 14-nearly 15- and i babysit my brother till like 2am sometimes i do also be left alone during the day and after school
thanks

If you want to be taken seriously and trusted, it goes both ways. They are not gonna be happy with people they dont know in their house with all the possessions they worked hard for, and your younger sibling there too. They might trust you, but how can they trust people they dont know? I wouldnt.

Secondly, what are you going to do if you get a free gaff? Their worries would be drink, drugs, sex, throw a mad party. They worry that hundreds will see it on facebook and come over and trash their house.

So, show that you can be trusted - be prepared to compromise, be considerate - maybe start small, agree to have your cousin and maybe 2 other friends over and stick to that. Ensure that they meet the people who would be staying beforehand, and that there is full transparency and contact information with the parents of whoever is staying over.

Outline what you and your friends would intend to do - say, watch movies/gaming, what you would feed them, and when you would intend to clean up after the get together. Explain how you would also be looking after your brother while your friends are there. Agree what rooms would be off limits. Agree that no facebook talk of it whatsoever, and let them know that if a random gang did turn up that you would have the maturity to ring them as soon as it happened.

Suggest that they can nominate someone maybe a trusted neighbour /relative parent of one of your friends to pop over whenever they like (this shows that you are having the night that you agreed to, and that you have nothing to hide)

Now, if you do get the shot at it, dont blow it. Stick to the agreed plan, and keep booze and other stuff well out of it, because next time you will have demonstrated you can be trusted, and they will give you a little more leeway. If they say no, accept it as it is, and dont invite people over anyway. They will find out, and it will be a long long time before you are ever trusted again.

Zen65

pinkyb wrote: »

but you see sometimes they treat me like an adult and tell me to act like an adult but at the same time if they are not trusting me then why should i act like an adult......????

You are at that age when you are trying to gain some independence from your parents, and that means moving to an adult space in the relationship between them and you. Your parents are right not to trust you fully, because they know that you have not crossed that gap yet, and you demonstrate that they are correct when you ask questions such as this.

If you want to be treated as an adult you must act as an adult, and that means not deliberately deceiving them. If you are not ready for that, then expect to spend longer being treated as a child.

Be at peace,


Z

Firetrap

pinkyb wrote: »

but you see sometimes they treat me like an adult and tell me to act like an adult but at the same time if they are not trusting me then why should i act like an adult......????

Now with that line, you sound so much like a teenager who's not getting their own way.

The only way for you to earn your stripes, so to speak, is to prove to your parents that you are a responsible person. You naturally feel very grown up but you're not even 15 years of age yet. I don't know if there's a minimum age at which children can be left alone in Ireland but over in the UK there was talk of it being 16. It is a grey area.

I can't help but think that you're less concerned about your parents treating you as an adult than of having the chance to have all these friends over without parental supervision.

pinkyb

what is the legal age in ireland...

Chessala

The legal age still doesn't give you a pass to inviting friends over without your parents knowing it. You can have a 12-years old acting like an adult and a 17-years old acting like they're 12.

As was mentioned before, if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one. Be responsible and try to look at the situation from your parents point of view. It's not that they want to forbid you to have fun but can you seriously say that nothing will happen?

What if your friends bring friends? It happens all the time and in a few moments you gave a party that you never intended to have.

Not to bash but your replies here pretty much also show that you don't consider the advice people give you here but that you are only looking for a way to get things the way you want them to be.

hondasam

pinkyb wrote: »

my parents are going away for one night to a hotel and i want to stay by myself and have a few friends over(they dont know about the friends other than my cousin maybe) how do i show them im able to stay alone and convince then ! i really want to just have some friends over for a few hours alone but i dont think my mam will say yes

please no telling me i shouldn't be left alone im 14-nearly 15- and i babysit my brother till like 2am sometimes i do also be left alone during the day and after school
thanks

I know you think you are old enough to be left alone but you are only seeing the fun aspect.
If your friends come round and anything happens you will not know how to handle it, you would have to call your parents who would have to return home.
It's never a good idea to lie because for one they are your parents and deserve respect and number two the truth usually comes out in the end.

I would suggest saying to your parents that one of your friends parents will check to see everything is ok and they might agree to this.

What are ye planning on doing, is there going to be alcohol involved?
This answer will determine how responsible you are.