To look for a girlfriend or stay single

LegacyUser

Hi there,

So I saw the past two threads on this but neither of them had any precise info regarding my situation.

I am a college first year, just been at orientation week there since monday. I never had a girlfriend and have only had a few female friends over the years who were able to come to my house.

I would still like to have a girlfriend. Problem is everyone seems to find it so much easier. It usually takes me a month of getting to know someone before I have their phone number but some people in the college have already done that having known each other a few days.

Should I try to be more extraverted and like ask girls if they want to walk to the shop with me the second time I have a lengthy conversation with one. I know I shouldn't ask girls out after just meeting them because you can't rush these things but maybe something small like that to get started the second time I speak to one.

Otherwise should I forget about all the others and get on with college life, accepting my single status?

Q&A

Word of advice go out enjoy freshers week and first year in college. Nothing wrong with asking a girl for a number or indeed asking her to go out. A first date is all about finding out about each other some will go brilliantly some will crash and burn thats the nature of the beast.

But don't over think it, a phone number is good it means she wants to keep in touch at some level. If you're having a good time with someone and you think they are too just ask for their number. Start as friends and see how you go.... Just stay relaxed.

Most people in college will be in the same boat as yourself... ahh to be in that situation again...

Nolanger

another_worried_single wrote: »

Otherwise should I forget about all the others and get on with college life, accepting my single status?

Stay single unless you want to pay child maintenance while you work in a crap job after graduating.

Siuin

Nolanger wrote: »

Stay single unless you want to pay child maintenance while you work in a crap job after graduating.

Nah, he'll be grand- they throw so many free condoms at you in Fresher's week, you'd have to be braindead to forget one!

Taltos

Muppetry is against our charter and is not tolerated. Please limit posts of this nature to those forums better suited, for example After Hours.

Taltos

LegacyUser

If you have just started college, don't rush into looking for a girlfriend. You'll get to know lots of girls as time goes by. When I started college, I had never had a proper boyfriend. All my friends had been in a few relationships in school. Started going out with a guy at the end of first year and we stayed together for a few years. Looking back, I really regret getting into a relationship at that stage. You have so much going on and it's a great time to be single (not just for playing the field but for the general freedom of it).

Honestly, I would just work on getting to know people and don't think about getting a girlfriend per se. Things generally work out better if they happen naturally.

Zen65

another_worried_single wrote: »

Should I try to be more extraverted and like ask girls if they want to walk to the shop with me the second time I have a lengthy conversation with one.

It sounds as though you're over-thinking stuff, way too soon. If you want to have fun in college you should not try adopting a persona with an ambition to collecting phone numbers or girlfriends. That's a strategy which can quickly leave you isolated.

Be yourself, but learn to relax and enjoy the company of others. Use the opportunity of college to develop yourself into an interesting person in your own right. Join clubs & societies and widen your circle of friends and interests. After that, take relationships slowly while you learn how to adjust to that environment.

Be at peace,


Z