Are you Too Self Conscious?

later12

Self-consciousness is not only a theme that I have noticed from real life, but indeed is one observed from this website as well; some people seem really concerned with what strangers think of them.

And my question pertains specifically to strangers: we all know that there can be benefits to impressing one's boss, one's potential mother-in-law, post office mistress, one's landlord, etc. etc.

But concern about the perception of strangers?

I recently went to a fancy dress party with a friend who avowedly refused to take a bus directly to our destination in place of an expensively meandering taxi, solely to remove him of the shame of crossing town in the guise of The March Hare - himself a perfectly comedic and masculine character, yet apparently too embarrassing for my friend in whose anonymous guise he could hardly afford to be seen both publicly and soberly.

So, tl;dr

do you care how you are perceived by strangers?

Sauve

Don't particularly care, I would have to a certain extent when I was a lot younger, but definitely not now. I think the key is being able to laugh at yourself...:)

im invisible

I was going to post in this thread, but then i got worried about what people would think

mfceiling

Please thank this post to make others think I'm great...

CrazyRabbit

I used to be very self conscious.

Now, I couldn't care less. If someone can't accept me for who I am, what I look like, what I wear etc, then they are not worth knowing as a person.

If a person doesn't like me, then that's their loss, not mine. Feck em'.

CrazyRabbit

mfceiling wrote: »

Please thank this post to make others think I'm great...

No..you're too ugly.

Guill

Used to care, don't anymore - happier for it.

Snakeblood

I used to be obsessed with how other people thought of me, until I realised they were most likely thinking about how they were looking, or something else entirely. I used to get very drunk to stop thinking about it on nights out, although now I'm over that.

df1985

used to be obsessed with it, think its a teenager thing. the older i get the less i care to the point im now 25 and dont give much of a ****e now really.

foxyboxer

I only feel self concious when I'm eating alone.
I suppose it's a primal thing as you're letting your guard down.

Duggy747

As long as I don't smell and look like a crusty / pruned metrosexual I don't give a shìt how I look.

Out in public I don't care what I get up to, I like taking the piss out of myself if it raises a smile.

Captain Darling

Meh, i let it all hang out.

Dravokivich

later10 wrote: »

do you care how you are perceived by strangers?

Not by strangers no, I'm generally of the opinion it's unlikely I'll meet them again. Around my friends / family, no worries there either as they'd know my personality as I'd know there's and such.

In saying that, I'm not really too crazy about a lot of attention being drawn to me, but I wouldn't consciously try to avoid it.

py2006

Not as much as I used to be but yes I suppose I am still to a certain extent.

I believe its a human characteristic. However, some display it more than others.

Sykk

Captain Darling wrote: »

Meh, i let it all hang out.

Sexy!

Pighead

Pighead is very rarely self conscious and generally very at ease with himself and his surroundings.

However, when walking down the street behind an old lady late in the evening or at night time the self consciousness rears it's ugly head and Pighead loses his stride.

"What if she thinks Pighead is a robber? What if she's a robber? Cross the road Pighead. But there's another one of them over that side. Slow down Pighead and let her get far ahead of you. Speed up Pighead and quickly pass her by. Sing a nice song and she'll think you're lovely. Don't they say that only madmen and drunks sing in public late at night?"

Loads and loads of conflicting commands racing through Pighead's head as he frantically tries to decide what to do.

Generally end up speeding past them, deliberately stepping off the footpath, with an exaggerating lean away from them whilst avoiding eye contact.

Pretty stressful, truth be told. Think the government should seriously think about putting a 5pm curfew in place for old people.

themadchef

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Give me a woman who hasint used that line (and a man or two ). Everyone is self conscious on some level.

With the likes of Boards it's more like "did i spell check that before i posted it? or "oh no, i sound like a girl, must harden the fúck up"

Wattle

If they're strangers they're unlikely to tell you what they think so who cares?

Snakeblood

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead is very rarely self conscious and generally very at ease with himself and his surroundings.

However, when walking down the street behind an old lady late in the evening or at night time the self consciousness rears it's ugly head and Pighead loses his stride.

"What if she thinks Pighead is a robber? What if she's a robber? Cross the road Pighead. But there's another one of them over that side. Slow down Pighead and let her get far ahead of you. Speed up Pighead and quickly pass her by. Sing a nice song and she'll think you're lovely. Don't they say that only madmen and drunks sing in public late at night?"

Loads and loads of conflicting commands racing through Pighead's head as he frantically tries to decide what to do.

Generally end up speeding past them, deliberately stepping off the footpath, with an exaggerating lean away from them whilst avoiding eye contact.

Pretty stressful, truth be told. Think the government should seriously think about putting a 5pm curfew in place for old people.

I used find walking towards old people unnerving. I get a smile, to show I'm not a man who is going to mug them, and I make eye contact, for unbearable seconds. The smile turns to a rictus. It's a hideous experience for me and them.

kkdela6

I wouldn't say im very self conscious, but at the same time i dont really want people to dislike me

Pighead

Snakeblood wrote: »

I used find walking towards old people unnerving. I get a smile, to show I'm not a man who is going to mug them, and I make eye contact, for unbearable seconds. The smile turns to a rictus. It's a hideous experience for me and them.

Pighead hears you Snakeblood. Tuesday and Thursday nights are the worst. The street is choc a bloc with lovely old ladies coming back from the bingo. Pighead tends to stay in on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Eve_Dublin

Not anymore. You grow out of that madness eventually and thanks be to god. It was a serious headwreak back in the day.


I wouldn't like someone I liked to think less of me though. That's all.

Generally the feelings mutual with people who dislike or judge me so no real skin off my nose. Prefer to be cool with people though.

Teyla Emmagan

foxyboxer wrote: »

I only feel self concious when I'm eating alone.
I suppose it's a primal thing as you're letting your guard down.

Funny, me too. I hate having to go into a restaurant by myself (cafe wouldn't bother me obv). But having dinner by yourself seems very lonely.

General General

F.u.ck off just f.u.ck off... who do you think you are asking me if I am too self conscious? Well? Who made you judge? Just f.u.ck off.

Ah, no... I don't feel too self conscious except when I think there is a telepath around.

Micky Dolenz

Not really. What have you heard?

stovelid

Your OP is so good, it's garnering thanking from invisible users. :eek:

http://omg.wthax.org/thanks_10.jpg

LeeHoffmann

I do care. Just because I think they might be right about me. I was never very good at figuring out what others think of me. It's far too easy to offend somebody and I'm far too analytic. I find if you think about whether you're doing something wrong, you just go round and round in a psychoanalytic loop. So I don't think about it anymore - that means I don't know whether I'm making a faux pas etc or not. So yes, I worry! :mad:

py2006

Interestingly though, we would all take exception if we were misrepresented or our comments were twisted and as a result people take a dislike to us or try to get others to dislike us or whatever.

In those circumstances, we do care what people think of us.

k.p.h

I used to be a bit overly self conscious, I made a few silly mistakes as a teenager so I had a deep sense of regret and maybe even was slightly shameful. I threw up a silly defense mechanism of just thinking everyone was "pricks". It took me a few years to cop what I was doing and realize how silly it was. Some of those people are actually pricks but most are just nice regular people and tend not to judge as they have been through it all themselves.

While it may be joked about here in AH. People being self conscious is actually a sure sign of someones mental health and happiness. Lots of issues manifest themselves in many ways but a large amount of the time it often comes down to people being happy in their own skin. People who care to much about their appearance and what other people think end up going through life pretending and not living.

I'm self conscious, but only to the extent of most people, and certainly less self conscious than most of my female friends.

Stuff like getting the bus in fancy dress I'd love though! I'd see it more of an excuse for attention than something to be embarrassed of.

The most self conscious thing I do would be taking medication for my acne, but I'm going to stop taking it after I'm settled in college (I've specialised this year having been in a huge general science class, so I want to make friends before I show my true greasy-greasyness).

Irish Guitarist

It depends on the stranger. If I see an attractive woman coming towards me when I'm outside I hate it if the wind has blown my hair out of place or something. I don't care what other males think of me.

What's going on with the invisible thanks? Is it some kind of moderator joke?

stupidusername

themadchef wrote: »

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Give me a woman who hasint used that line (and a man or two ). Everyone is self conscious on some level.

With the likes of Boards it's more like "did i spell check that before i posted it? or "oh no, i sound like a girl, must harden the fúck up"

i've never asked this actually. but then i'd probably like it to be a bit bigger if anything.

for me self consciousness depends on my mood. depends on how i'm feeling during the day etc. depends on who i'm around. if I was around someone I fancy / care if I come across as stupid or embarrassingly ugly.

I wouldn't care a whole lot around strangers, I've done some things for people that others might've considered embarrassing but they needed doing so I did them. it completely depends on the situation.

LeeHoffmann

i'd probably like it to be a bit bigger if anything

snap!

Biggins

I don't really mind how I am perceived personally - I am what I am - but I'm careful not to be perceived in a bad light/look when with the wife or children.
Don't want to embarrass them or let them be seen as to be associated with something that might do so at some later stage.

mackg

Yeah I would say I am, used to be far worse but still more self conscious than I would like to be.

Micky Dolenz

On a professional level I care what people think of me. On a personal level I couldn't give 2 fooks.

As long as I like me, that's enough.

Eve_Dublin

py2006 wrote: »

Interestingly though, we would all take exception if we were misrepresented or our comments were twisted and as a result people take a dislike to us or try to get others to dislike us or whatever.

In those circumstances, we do care what people think of us.

True...but then some of us are disliked if we're shown to take exception, so you can't win....

Dudess

When it comes to what strangers think of me?

Nah, apart from when it actually matters (e.g. obvious anti-social carry-on) but day-to-day stuff, no. E.g. not having enough funds at the ATM, my card not working in a shop, the alarm going off when I leave a shop because the sales assistant didn't remove the security tag - wouldn't give a fook.

General General

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

True...but then some of us are disliked if we're shown to take exception, so you can't win....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YrinCQOxB0

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056360869

OneArt

I'm self conscious in really weird ways. Like I won't do the hoovering if there's someone else in the house for some reason I feel really embarrassed if I know people can hear me hoovering so I wait until my housemate's gone.

Which is a pain because I'm a bit of neat freak too...

johngalway

later10 wrote: »

do you care how you are perceived by strangers?

No

Most working days I look like I've been dragged backwards out of a bin.

Often only shave once a week, won't shave for longer if I can get away with it.

Funny time I remember was looking much like the above one day a ewe needed an antibiotic shot. Walked across the road to the car with the syringe in hand to :eek: looks from the tourists :pac:

Drive a 12 year old banger held together by dirt and hope

So, nah, really couldn't give much less of a crap if I tried.

markesmith

Sometimes I do, no point denying it (like some posters on here ).

In general, though, I really don't. Just sometimes, with the moobs and that...looking in the mirror and going, "is this jumper a good fit? Will I be a laughing stock?"