When do you stop texting

LegacyUser

Girls - this is my situation and would like some views on it.

Met a guy - had a date - now I dont know if I actually fancied him, but I did find him very intriuging - he isnt looking for anything serious, neither am I. But I think it would be nice to have him as a friend, as I find him so interesting.
Here is where it gets a little odd. I am the one who tends to make contact with him, although he has said he would like to meet up again (friends is fine for the moment, but who knows? I think Id need to meet him again to see) and finds me very attractive (yeah easy words I know). He is busy. Or so he tells me anyways (he seems to lead a very busy life). Last time I text him was mon or tues. Nothing since.

So, my question girls, is that do you keep plugging away, or do you stop? Sometimes I do catch myself looking at my phone hoping he'll text, but never does, but neither do I have the feeling that I fancy him - more like that I cant have him as a friend. Anyone ever find themselves in a situation like this? Maybe I need a bit of realism or explanation of my actions (as only ladies can).

Maple

Moved from TLL, better suited here.

Maple

Stench Blossoms

Does he know you only want to be his friend?

Maybe he distancing himself from you because he likes you but knows its not the same on your side.

I am a friend

I would think that because ye didnt 'click' he is not as pushed about meeting up again or at least making a move to set up a second date / meeting... He sees ye as friends and is acting acordingly. If you want another date (rather than friendship) you will need to ask him. If you just want friendship then I dont see what the hurry is.

Miss Fluff

I think it seems like you fancy him more than you wish to admit and I also think it seems like you are chasing 'it' a bit, you have both agreed to be friends after all.Unless you are short of friends I would just stop texting him as it will just look like you're really keen and really want to see him again regardless of what you're reasons may be.I'd just drop it tbh.

Mc Kenzie

from my expereince if someone is interested in you, they will want to see you again and more than likely youllhere from them. to me it sounds astho your not looking for anything seriouse so why put yourself through the hastle of always chasing him.

i would leave it and take the hint that he hasnt replyd. or if it was really bothering me just contact him again and if still nothing then id take that as your answer.

if he doesnt, its no biggy youl find someon better.:)

Wompa1

I think that this guy you deemed not worthy of being more than friends because he's not attractive enough (not the because I don't want anything serious because you didn't mean that) is ignoring you on purpose and you are lapping it up because you crave a guy who isn't dependant on you and will most likely treat you like garbage. My opinion but you asked for a girls opinion.

Wompa1

sunflower27 wrote: »

Who are you to tell her what she was thinking? How can you possibly know? Your post is incredibly rude and unhelpful.

OP, leave it now. Honestly. Try and put it out of your mind, it will be gone soon enough. Plenty more out there - and others you will havea better spark with

She said she didn't know if she fancied him...which means she didn't at first. She only thinks she fancies him now because he's distant with her. She's after this guy because it seems like he doesn't want her. How can she go from not attracted to attracted from no contact? Because he became the forbidden fruit. It's not a unique thing to the OP.

Wompa1

sunflower27 wrote: »

You have jumped to serious assumptions. She found him intriguing, she has alwasy instigated the contact so it isn't as if she was ignoring him and now the tables have turned she is p*ssed off.

I don't see how he can be forbidden fruit when she never ignored him in the first place - if anything she has always been the one that looked keen.

Yeah but if they were heading down the friend path, what does being keen have to do with it? You don't have to make an effort to see and talk to your friends every week.

It doesn't sound like she's pissed off. Sounds like she's a bit bummed out because now that he's gone cold, she's gone hot for him.

LegacyUser

OP here.
All opinions welcome. Even the more direct ones. Am trying to get my head around this. I honestly dont know if I fancy him, but there is something there, on my part. Possibly as someone said once he turned "cold", I saw it as more of a target. Am a very direct person myself. I just thought he was a nice person and interesting, and maybe if we had gotton to know each other better, and mightve fancied him, something mightve happened. But would still have been happy just knowing him.

You are rignt - if he was interested (friends or otherwise), he would make contact/an effort. Its like my head understands what I need to do (STOP contact), but my heart doesnt. Ive never found myself in a situation like this. Think I much prefer to be single/be on my own than dealing with this stuff. Am a little hurt by his nochalence. But there is nothing I can do.

I will have to give up on this one, unfortunately. I just get such an urge to talk to him - I have to learn how to control it - any tips, pass on! It is apparent that there is no interest on his part, and have to get my head around that. Have deleted his number (unfortunately I remember numbers etc, so its imprinted in my head - pity there isnt a delete button there).

Ickle Magoo

sunflower27 & Wompa1 - everyone is entitled to give their advice, it's for the OP to decide which is the best for them. If you want to argue over who has given the right advice then take it to PM.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

Please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter & abide by them.

Many thanks.

LegacyUser

Sunflower - you just hit a sore point there. While I have friends, most are settled down/buying houses/not around.

Maybe that is part of my problem. I feel like am stuck in a rut. Would love to make some new single lady friends, who enjoy a good night out. I love going out having fun! But as I said above, my social circle has dwindled and its harder to make new friends as you get older (I have tried). Noone wants to make new friends (or you are seen as the weirdo who wants to make friends). I need a new lease of life!