How do I get over my fear of alcohol?

allydylan

This is probably a thread i should start anonymously but i don't know how to do that, and amn't all that bothered
Also mod's if this is in the wrong area of this site, could you please move it rather than delete it? thanks

so anyways, my mom was an alcoholic, she has since recovered. she drank when i was aged 7 through 9. this was a difficult time for me. and has through out my life, i have had problems with self-esteem, confidence, self mutational, and have attempted suicide. all of these problems where due to the time when my mom was drinking, and yes there were other issues involved, but i believe if my mom wasn't an alcoholic than i wouldn't have gone through the things i've gone through

as i said i'm now 16, and i'm getting to the age where everyone around me starts drinking. because of this i have just realised how much alcohol scares me, i don't like friends, family members, or loved ones in general drinking it. when i think about it i get panicky. this is causing alot of problems in my relationships with friends and particularly my cousin [we are really close]. she's 20 and acts like any 'normal' 20 year old would, she goes clubbing and drinks, i feel shakey, panicky and ill to the stomach at the thought of her doing this

i've talked to her about it, but there's no compromise, ideally I'd like her to stop drinking, but i would never ask or except her to do that

our family don't talk about the time when my mom used to drink. i haven't talked to anyone about it either

my question is, how do i get over this fear? i can't let alcohol ruin my relationship with my cousin

thanks for reading

biko

You need to understand that not everybody will abuse alcohol.
Most people can handle it just fine but a few will go over the top.
It's also an age thing, younger people tend to do careless (like drink to excess) things but as they grow they'll calm down.

Maybe you can talk to some counsellor about the time when you were younger?
That may resolve the underlying issues you have and you wouldn't focus so much on the alcohol.

If you look around Personal Issues forum I'm sure there's a list of local counsellors there somewhere.

NB: PI will let you post anonymous if you prefer, just log out first.

emmabrighton

allydylan wrote: »

This is probably a thread i should start anonymously but i don't know how to do that, and amn't all that bothered
Also mod's if this is in the wrong area of this site, could you please move it rather than delete it? thanks

so anyways, my mom was an alcoholic, she has since recovered. she drank when i was aged 7 through 9. this was a difficult time for me. and has through out my life, i have had problems with self-esteem, confidence, self mutational, and have attempted suicide. all of these problems where due to the time when my mom was drinking, and yes there were other issues involved, but i believe if my mom wasn't an alcoholic than i wouldn't have gone through the things i've gone through

as i said i'm now 16, and i'm getting to the age where everyone around me starts drinking. because of this i have just realised how much alcohol scares me, i don't like friends, family members, or loved ones in general drinking it. when i think about it i get panicky. this is causing alot of problems in my relationships with friends and particularly my cousin [we are really close]. she's 20 and acts like any 'normal' 20 year old would, she goes clubbing and drinks, i feel shakey, panicky and ill to the stomach at the thought of her doing this

i've talked to her about it, but there's no compromise, ideally I'd like her to stop drinking, but i would never ask or except her to do that

our family don't talk about the time when my mom used to drink. i haven't talked to anyone about it either

my question is, how do i get over this fear? i can't let alcohol ruin my relationship with my cousin

thanks for reading

Heya pet,

You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Check out alanon or alateen in google. And for an over used catchphrase that gets thrown about, "one day at a time" you lived thru it now you have to move on :-)

Sunnyisland

biko wrote: »

You need to understand that not everybody will abuse alcohol.
Most people can handle it just fine but a few will go over the top.
It's also an age thing, younger people tend to do careless (like drink to excess) things but as they grow they'll calm down.

Maybe you can talk to some counsellor about the time when you were younger?
That may resolve the underlying issues you have and you wouldn't focus so much on the alcohol.

If you look around Personal Issues forum I'm sure there's a list of local counsellors there somewhere.

NB: PI will let you post anonymous if you prefer, just log out first.

emmabrighton wrote: »

Heya pet,

You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Check out alanon or alateen in google. And for an over used catchphrase that gets thrown about, "one day at a time" you lived thru it now you have to move on :-)

Cant add much more than what above posters have said, There is a good life out there without alcohol,search around your area for intrests or hobbies that you are into,goodluck & let us know how you get on.

J_E

I sent you a PM. Just know that you're not alone.

allydylan

thank you so much, I read the message and it was so appreciated and helped so much. thank you!!
i hope we can keep in contact

unreggd

I was exactly the same

I had the fear because my Mam is an alcoholic, and I never wanted to end up like her. But then I realised all people are different

when I did drink, I handled it perfectly, I think I was only ever drunk about 3 times my whole life, and I've never once had a hangover, ever. Never did anything stupid, got into fights etc

I stopped drinkin 3 years ago because I still see no benefits of it. I dont need it socially, and I'd rather have a crap night out with the benefit of knowing I wasnt drinking to cover up a crap buzz

Also I save fxck loads of money, and can drive to town / home when I like

You need to think about the exact reason why you want to drink. Unfortunately in Ireland, the majority of people just want to drink as much as they can, as if its a burger eating contest. Also, people purposely wanna get drunk because its still perceived that being drunk ALWAYS equals fun, which is complete BS

allydylan

thanks

i agree with alot of what you said, i don't particularly want to drink i just want to be happy and comfortable with others drinking around me

something happened literaly 5 mins ago that made me think of alcohol, this happening depressed me a little and drove me to cut myself. thought i was past that but i guess not [sorry if i'm sharing to much, i just hate the fact that self harm is still taboo] tbh i don't feel shame at all like i used to, which i worry could be a bad sign

Sunnyisland

allydylan wrote: »

thanks

i agree with alot of what you said, i don't particularly want to drink i just want to be happy and comfortable with others drinking around me

something happened literaly 5 mins ago that made me think of alcohol, this happening depressed me a little and drove me to cut myself. thought i was past that but i guess not [sorry if i'm sharing to much, i just hate the fact that self harm is still taboo] tbh i don't feel shame at all like i used to, which i worry could be a bad sign

allydylan have you gone for professional help ?

allydylan

realies wrote: »

allydylan have you gone for professional help ?

yes actually, have gotten help with issues that aren't directly releated to the alcohol thing, i have another appointment tomorrow

Sunnyisland

Well imo that can only be a good thing as all the help we get is welcome,Good luck with it.

allydylan

thanks, ya it went pretty well, we talked about stuff that has been bothering me for a while, and i think i've come closer to being more comfoortable about the whole alcohol thing
i have another appointment in 3 weeks

Aidan1985

I hope everything works out ok for you. A lot of people just drink to enjoy themselves more. That's the general population. I'm sorry that you had to have a bad experience with alcohol in your life. Most people will use alcohol for it's purpose which is to use responsible and have a good time. Try to think of it that way. I'm not expecting this to be of much help, but it's just my advice. Hope everything works out for you.

MrsStuffings

just start lashing vodka into you ally, you'll build up a tolerance and you can't beat the lovely taste of a vodka rebull. just cause your family is a pack of alkys doesnt mean you will be too!

Infracted - Mod

allydylan

Thanks a million to everyone that commented and gave me advice (that is to all except MrsStuffings needless to say) it was so helpful

MrsStuffings wrote: »

just start lashing vodka into you ally, you'll build up a tolerance and you can't beat the lovely taste of a vodka rebull. just cause your family is a pack of alkys doesnt mean you will be too!

Infracted - Mod

I've actually been upset by your comment, what you said is rude and i find it hugly offensive, you appear to not know much about the subject, therefore why comment?
but that is all i'm going to say on the matter, i'm not going to waste my time arguing with you

Mods, i'd appreciate if this post was deleted, cos i think it goes against charter, and has upset me. if you delete it then thanks in advance

But i'll stress, thanks everyone, ye are being helpful and lovely :)

danomurray84

Drinking eases anxiety- proven fact

Sunnyisland

danomurray84 wrote: »

Drinking eases anxiety- proven fact

Could you provide a link to your proven fact. Thanks

bryaner

danomurray84 wrote: »

Drinking eases anxiety- proven fact

Ohh good jaysus, I drink but I think you'll find that drinking does the exact opposite for anxiety..:rolleyes:

bobbaggio

alldylan, fair pplay to you for saying this worries you, because you could have lived with it and let it eat away at you! But you did the right thing, talk about it, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mother but mention it to her that alcohol worries you and it makes you panicky etc...

But also remember as one of the other posters said that alcohol is not ALL terrible, some people can drink socially, and not become agressive mean sloppy drunks. Sadly your past is telling you different, but all the best with everything.

I am not one of the ones who can drink controllably so I quit, and am the better for it! But I hope this helps and best of luck to you!

languagenerd

realies wrote: »

Could you provide a link to your proven fact. Thanks

His only other post was deleted by a mod with the excuse "pathetic attempt at trolling", I say we ignore him :P



And allydylan, I hope you're doing better now. Keep getting whatever help you need to get through this fear. Unfortunately alcohol is a huge part of socialising in this country, but you don't ever have to drink it yourself if you don't want to. There are people who don't drink and there are people who have had to give it up for similar reasons, so don't ever think you're alone in this!