Anxiety time

LegacyUser

Right, here we go. I am a man and have just turned 31 but I have never had sex. Its not that I am an ugly fella, I am not.
I kinda have not been bothered/put much of an effort. During my teens and twenties I had (and suppose still have) a MAJOR hang up about my weight. I am dealing with this now thank god! I have a large group of friends and have lied to them about 1 night stands so I wont get ridiculed.
I have kissed and what have you plenty of girls but never had sex. I have dated a couple of girls recently but have never gone any more than a couple of dates then when a conversation comes up about previous relations its a fúckin nightmare and I tell them a lie. I have never bit the bullet and went to a prostitute (though I have a couple of times come close) Basically my question is.. - will all women find this a major turn off?? Do I confide in someone? I know its pretty damn pathetic but some good advice is badly needed.

LegacyUser

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24. I am now 37. It really is not a big deal. Loads of my mates were off with girls at 16, 17 etc. I didn't want to and then it happened, no problem.

Anyway if you want to have a relationship with someone new, talking of past conquests won't do you any good, so who needs to know?

My advice is don't let this get to you - when it happens it happens and just enjoy it. Best of luck!

gmac102

AnxiousMan wrote: »

Right, here we go. I am a man and have just turned 31 but I have never had sex. Its not that I am an ugly fella, I am not.
I kinda have not been bothered/put much of an effort. During my teens and twenties I had (and suppose still have) a MAJOR hang up about my weight. I am dealing with this now thank god! I have a large group of friends and have lied to them about 1 night stands so I wont get ridiculed.
I have kissed and what have you plenty of girls but never had sex. I have dated a couple of girls recently but have never gone any more than a couple of dates then when a conversation comes up about previous relations its a fúckin nightmare and I tell them a lie. I have never bit the bullet and went to a prostitute (though I have a couple of times come close) Basically my question is.. - will all women find this a major turn off?? Do I confide in someone? I know its pretty damn pathetic but some good advice is badly needed.

i think its sweet, and im a 30 year old female! Dont lie, no good comes from lies! be yourself, you will be accepted flaws and all

not that being a virgin is a flaw! just to be clear!

if i guy i started seeing was a virgin, id prob be secretly pleased imagine all the things you can teach them/ learn together!

LegacyUser

What it the deal with the "Im so pathetic because Ive never had sex" crap? Serioulsy if you had a 31 year old friend that came to you and said he'd never had sex before, would you start insulting him and calling him pathetic? Im pretty sure you wouldnt, well if you did you'd be a pretty terrible friend. So why speak to yourself like that? What imaginary standard are you measuring yourself by? So you have to have sex by a certain age otherwise you're pathetic? Come on man, give that nonsense a rest. How does speaking to yourself in such a way make your life or situation any better? Im pretty sure it makes things worse. Be fair to yourself.
Having sex is no big deal and once you've had it you'll ask why you gave yourself such a hardtime over it in the first place. Judge yourself by your own standards, not by what the media or books, films magazines or whatever tell you is important.

LegacyUser

I wouldnt tell someone you were about to sleep with you were a virgin at your age. Its easy for people here to say its no big deal and its sweet etc but I think some women would be put off by it. A small little lie won't hurt anyone good luck

curlzy

Hey OP,

There's nothing pathetic about being a virgin, at any age. Only virgins seem to think there is! It's one of those things that as soon as you do it you realise it's not big deal. I wouldn't not have a problem at all with sleeping with a virgin, in fact I'd like it, I would be able to blow his mind and I think it would be alot of fun. So yeah don't lie anymore just be honest, say to the girl "well I've been saving myself for someone special, play your cards right and it could be you;)". Best of luck.

I am a friend

I don't think there is anything to be worried about.

Experience levels amongst guys vary so much that there is no need to tell your first that you are a virgin as they may not cop. Just cos you haven't done it before doesn't mean you won't be good at it