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Monday Funnies

  • 12-09-2011 9:02am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭


    My girlfriend left me.

    She says I talk in haikus.

    I don't believe her.
    _____________________________________

    They say so many people die because of alcohol..

    Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
    _____________________________________

    "I decided to call my penis 'period', because the missus always moans when she's on it."
    _____________________________________

    I spotted my wife on the roof of the local supermarket earlier, with a large crowd below looking up at her.

    "Please babe, don't jump!" I pleaded.

    "I've had enough," she cried. "I'm gonna kill myself."

    "No you're not," I snapped. "Now get down and we'll go and find a higher roof."
    _____________________________________

    What do a pregnant woman, frozen beer, and burned pizza have in common?

    In all cases there is a man who forgot to take it out quick enough

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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