My prick of a brother

Lashakroo

ill keep this short. i absolutely cannot stand my brother. he is unbelievably thoughtless, lazy, selfish, rude, igonorant: i could go on. he is an absolutle **** to my parents, day in day out. we have all had enough of him. absolutely no concept of self awareness and how his actions impact on others. he's also a bit of a stoner, which ****ing does my head in. he's just a total muppet who hasnt a brain in his head and im convinced the drugs have ****ed his head up. its not just my family who know this, all my extended family know this as well. he is incredibly difficult. he s supposed to be going to prague for a college semester on wednesday yet seems to have nothing organised. my parents not unreasonably asked for information on his flight, where he's staying etc and he cant/ wont provide this without a struggle. he's a nightmare and we're sick of him. he's like a petulant teenager, yet he is 23! i am furious writing this right now. i see the impact this is having on my parents and they seem to be unable to detach from him. at this moment in time, i cannot stand him. He is such a ****ing idiot and so unbelievably immature that he will probably mess up his whole trip, get arrrested at the airport, or **** up in someway. he seems to think he has a grant sorted but has nothing organised. Prick

amdublin

I am sorry you feel this way about your brother.

He's 23. He's an adult. Probably best if you and your parents just let him live his own life and see how he gets on.

Ie. Why are your parents even querying about a 23 year old's flights or where he staying? You should just assume it is all sorted....maybe ask him to write down the address of where he is staying before he lives (just in case it is needed, can't see why though tbh).

Why are you so obsessed with how thoughtless, lazy, selfish, ignorant he is?
Let him go! Be free!

nicechick!

Lashakroo wrote: »

ill keep this short. i absolutely cannot stand my brother. he is unbelievably thoughtless, lazy, selfish, rude, igonorant: i could go on. he is an absolutle **** to my parents, day in day out. we have all had enough of him. absolutely no concept of self awareness and how his actions impact on others. he's also a bit of a stoner, which ****ing does my head in. he's just a total muppet who hasnt a brain in his head and im convinced the drugs have ****ed his head up. its not just my family who know this, all my extended family know this as well. he is incredibly difficult. he s supposed to be going to prague for a college semester on wednesday yet seems to have nothing organised. my parents not unreasonably asked for information on his flight, where he's staying etc and he cant/ wont provide this without a struggle. he's a nightmare and we're sick of him. he's like a petulant teenager, yet he is 23! i am furious writing this right now. i see the impact this is having on my parents and they seem to be unable to detach from him. at this moment in time, i cannot stand him. He is such a ****ing idiot and so unbelievably immature that he will probably mess up his whole trip, get arrrested at the airport, or **** up in someway. he seems to think he has a grant sorted but has nothing organised. Prick

It is easy to get angered and frustrated over family particularly if you don't agree with the direction there life or there actions take them.

The only suggestion I have is take a deep breath calm down which can be difficult to do but trust me it won't you do or your well being any good to upset yourself over his actions it just shows that you do actually care. Leave him be he'll figure it out however much he annoys you!! (easier said then done but don't bog yourself down with there ****e)

Chinafoot

amdublin wrote: »

I am sorry you feel this way about your brother.

He's 23. He's an adult. Probably best if you and your parents just let him live his own life and see how he gets on.

Ie. Why are your parents even querying about a 23 year old's flights or where he staying? You should just assume it is all sorted....maybe ask him to write down the address of where he is staying before he lives (just in case it is needed, can't see why though tbh).

I'm going to hazard a guess here and say that his parents may be footing some of the bill for this semester away. Also, its not unreasonable at all for a parent to ask their child where they will be staying when they are leaving the country for a prolonged period of time, regardless of how old they are. If this bloke is the waster that the OP describes, and if his parents are aware of this, then they will of course want to know where is he going to be. Asking about his flights could simply be a way of ensuring he actually makes it there.

Also, if the OPs brother is living under his parents roof (perhaps the OP could clarify that) then his parents are well within their rights to expect a certain level of respect from him. The fact that he is 23 does not entitle him to act the sack towards his family if he is being in anyway supported by them.

amdublin wrote: »

Why are you so obsessed with how thoughtless, lazy, selfish, ignorant he is?
Let him go! Be free!

Not sure where you got "obsessed" from tbh. Nobody likes to see their parents being taken advantage of or treated poorly, particularly by members of your own family.

OP, if your brother is living at home then it is really up to your parents to deal with the situation. If they allow him to act disrespectfully then he will continue to do so. Have you spoken to your parents about it? Are they aware of his drug use?

Big Bag of Chips

It's very hard as a parent to detach yourself from your child. Regardless of age. It is very easy, however, as a sibling to get very annoyed by a "loser" brother or sister who you perceive to be taking advantage of parents who are obviously good, loving and kind.

What you have to remember OP, is even if they are exhausted from "minding" him and trying to get him to shape up and sort his life out a bit, they still love him exactly as much as they love you. It's called unconditional love, and most parents feel it for their children.

Nothing you can do about it, I'm afraid, except make your own choices and live your life the way you prefer to. You can't make his choices for him.

If you both still live at home, it will be difficult to ignore. Are you in a position to move out? That way you put a bit of distance between you and him, and his behaviour.

Then, if you live away from home and are making your own way it will also be difficult to think of him freeloading at home.

Either way, you have to stop letting it bother you so much. You can't change or control him, or how your parents choose to deal with him.

Susie_Q

Hi OP,

Your post was so familiar I could have written it myself. My younger brother (aged 23) earns money playing gigs at the weekend, then spends the rest of the week lying in bed, smoking weed and playing guitar. My parents still do his laundry (including picking it up off his bedroom floor!), cook him dinner and constantly give him lifts to gigs (he doesn't drive). I used to get so annoyed by his selfish behaviour but I've since realised there's really nothing I can do about it. The bottom line is that it's my parents decision how much he can get away with and whether they give him money/ lifts/ mollycoddling etc.

I think it's a case of Irish mammies and sons - there's no relationship quite as peculiar in the world. My advice is to admit defeat and let it go. I used to spend so much time being angry with my brother for taking advantage of my parents but it was a waste of time. Calm down, breathe deeply, and let it go. There is nothing else you can do.

Best of luck - the letting go thing isn't so easy but it's worth it!

Danniboo

If he's in college he's obviously done his Leaving? (correct me if i'm wrong) so is he flunking college then, that you think he's that much of a waster? In what way is he an ass to your parents?

slum dog

i dont think you gave enough valid info on why he is so bad? sounds like he is a scapegoat

booboo88

I could've written the same post, my brother is a d!ck.
not alot you can do