What the feck do I do?

feckedindublin

Not quite sure why I am writing this, but short of going to the samaritans, I cannot think of anything else.

I am self employed, with a lovely family, wife and two kids and at my wits end.

I worked in a place for ten years and then did a management buyout, five years ago.


No-can accuse me of doing anything blind - I worked in the place ten years. Now I am my wits end. The country has changed. Everyone is fecked, I badly so.

I owe one million euro to the bank for my business which is valued at 500k if that, and if someone wanted it, and if they could get the money.

My little three terraced home is maybe worth 170k with a mortgage of 280k.

I am fecked. I owe 100k to a family member who needs it back, but I dont have it. Another family member tried to make me repay it and then told me to shut my business down as "its obviously unviable"

As the recession took hold, so my customers dried up. They do not appreciate having something local. They do not come in the door any more. They cross the road and walk past me with their discounter bags thinking I dont see them.

I appreciate they may not have the cash to shop local, but I am worried about MY wife and kids.

Even with laying off 90% of my staff, I still couldn't pay the commercial mortgage last month, not even the interest.

I work solo most days, on average 15 hrs, 5 or 6 days a week (today I am doing 12 hours straight, solo).

I have nothing to look forward to. My wife works full time which keeps us afloat as I cannot even take a wage, but now she is out with a bad back.

I am so down its unreal.

I am wondering how to get out, what I can do.


I have considered having an accident. Problem solved? Maybe. My kids would have no dad, but my family would be secure, everything paid off and a few pound left. I am aware in my situation, any death would be looked at closely. If someone robbed me and took my takings, that would be terrible, particularly if I was shot dead at the same time... I guess you could say a hitman?

I am now getting ill. I am now diabetic. Maybe I could eat loads of sugar and collapse. Dont know if that would be fatal or not.

I was on a ferry recently and looked down at the water and thought how cold it looked.

My head is spinning. My chest hurts, my life may as well be over.

Sitting here with a tear in my eye. It wouldn't take much to tip me over the edge. I have lots of people wishing me well, saying hello, but that doesnt pay the bills. These same people cannot/dont support me.

There is no point in just surviving like this. I have a family to provide for. Dead or alive.

What the feck do I do? what do I want? why am I writing this?

I do not know.

I am just hoping for some inspiration to help me keep going.

Sorry for bothering youse all.

LegacyUser

Suicide is not the way out.

You need to get help and support asap.

Financial problems are not worth your life.

Please please contact a GP today. I am sure other boardsies will have advice on how to help your financial situation and your mental health but believe me death is not the answer.

This is your life. So, you owe some money to people, so what, I am sure that there are people out there that can advise you on how to proceed either by declaring bankrupcy or otherwise.

It's only money. Money. A concept that doesn't even exist in some parts of the world. It is not worth your life.

seanrose

sorry to hear about your situation

you may feel that you are rock bottom and that there is no way out of it but there is.

firstly if i was in your position i would sit down and really assess the situation with your wife.do not be to proud to say that you have hit rock bottom.

if you are not drawing a wage from the company what is the point in keeping it open probably making more losses.you owe nothing to anybody,plenty of good business have closed down and the staff would have to accept whatever decision you make.what is the point in only your family suffering in this situation.

if you keep working those hours youl have no need to think about suicide because your health will finally go.your no good to your family or anybody if you dont have your health.you may feel useless to your family in the current situation but do you think there life will be good and dandy if you die

do not worry about owing the bank money,if you cant pay you cant pay.you only have to look at a newspaper today and see a developer in debt for a billion euro swanning about at his daughter lavish wedding.is he worried,is he ****

username123

Hi OP.
Im really sorry youre having such a hard time.

About the house first - the whole country is in the position where their house is worth less than it was. If your wife can continue making mortgage payments on her salary then try to forget the discrepancy between what its worth and what the mortgage is - negative equity is only a problem if you NEED to sell.

About your business. If its not financially viable - liquidate it. My father in law was in denial about his own business for years and he eventually liquidated it, he was so relieved afterwards. He should have done it ages before, he was sinking further into debt the longer he left it. Is this a feasible option for you? I just dont think there is any point in you trying to keep something thats failing afloat. WHat is the financial position if you liquidate it? Are there assets to sell and pay off the bank? You should probably seek proper financial and legal advice on this to see what the best option is - I dont know how it works or if your house is secured against it etc... But get the advice, you will even feel better to know what your options are. Plus- you cant be working all those hours for nothing - no one can keep that up without making themselves sick.

I also think you need to go to your GP and explain the stress and anxiety you are under. You may be depressed? And there may be something the GP can do to help.

On the financial side of things Id recommend you post on www.askaboutmoney.com - you will get very good legal and financial advice there for free. Also talk to MABS.

On the health side of things please talk to your GP.

You may need to make some kind of hard decision like going to the UK and declaring yourself bankrupt and starting over. But dont be feeling like there is no future - a lot of people are feeling fecked at the moment but things can only get better - the best thing for you right now is to try to turn the situation around so its not just getting worse and so youre not just feeling worse all the time.

Good luck.

Taltos

OP
Aplogies but I am afraid we are not qualified to offer you appropriate advice; if you are feeling suicidal you must tell a qualified professional.

If you need to talk to someone in the meantime then you may find some useful contacts here.

All the very best

Taltos