Housemate conundrum

LegacyUser

I'm a 28 year old guy & I've been living with my friend for about 3 years. He can be a bit messy but nothing too serious and we've alway gotten on well. the first place we lived in was with another guy and that was grand but when he had to move out we decided to find another place and as we needed a third person to move in we asked his girlfriend.
She'd been pretty much a live in girlfriend already so we figured it would be an easy fit but sweet jesus... she's the most neurotic person I've ever met. she cleans constantly and I mean like to the extent that I once left my dinner down on the table for a few minutes while I went to the toilet and when I came back she'd thrown it away and washed the plate and you can't leave out a dish or a plate or anything for more then a few hours tops before she'll wash it. she never gets outwardly agressive but she'll do this tense storming about and clod shoulder routine which creates this horrible atmosphere in the house, especially when you come in fro a long day and you want to just have dinner and watch some tv and you don't clean up immedietly after you finish.
This constant level of tension was bad enough until a month or so ago when my girlfriend moved in. she on the other hand is insanely messy, absolutely no concept of tidying up after herself, grew up with a house cleaner like. and the two of them are now butting heads constantly in this really non confrontational, passive agressive way which makes the house this absolute nightmare of tension 24/7
The situation has gotten so bad I just have no idea what to do. I'm a fairly clean person and I like my stuff to be neat and tidy and I had gotten very used to having my own space that I was responsible for, but now its a choice between the hyper stressy clean living room or the hyper messy death trap of a bedroom.
I can't ask either to move out and I can't move out myself as my girlfriend will take this as a sign that the relationship isn't working.
I've talked to my mate and he's just as exasperated.

Any idea what we should do?

dudara

Is there any way that you (as a couple) can afford to move to a flat on your own? You need space as a couple rather than sharing with another relationship.

These two ladies appear to be fundamentally different people, and I don't think that the'll ever be suited to live together. This doesn't mean that they can't be friends, but maybe they shouldn't share a roof.

Wompa1

Tell the girlfriends you're gay and move in with each other into a two bed.

Sounds like your friend regrets living with his lady and you regret living with yours.

Firetrap

Have you and your girlfriend discussed moving into a place of your own? As long as these two women are at loggerheads, your life in the house will be misery. People like your friend's girlfriend will practically get ulcers if a place isn't scrupulously clean and tidy so someone like your girlfriend is like a red rag to a bull.

The problem isn't being helped by your girlfriend. You can make excuses for her being insanely messy but she has to realise that she needs to make an effort too. I assume that your mate's gf doesn't come in to tidy your bedroom so your girlfriend is messing up the rest of the house. Can she not make a better effort herself? It's not exactly rocket science.

Kevin Duffy

The women are adults and need to be told that they can't behave like that, they're sharing their space with other people and have to respect the people they live with. They need to avoid doing stupid things like throwing other people's dinners in the bin, creating a bad atmosphere in the house and not tidying up after themselves. They're just basic common sense and manners.

If they can't be told this in a frank conversation, the relationships are not good enough for you all to be living together and you're going to have to make other arrangements.

ManOfMystery

Have the 4 of you ever sat down and actually spoke about this?

Someone needs to take the reins (probably yourself, seeing as you were the one who posted the thread) and arrange for the 4 of you to sit down together and talk about this as adults.

Both your gf and your friend's gf need to agree to make more of an effort : your gf needs to start cleaning up after herself and being less messy, and your friend's gf needs to calm down a bit and realise that this is a home, not a showhouse, so occasionally things can be allowed to sit where they are for more than 2 mins.

Hopefully the 2 of them can agree to meet in the middle.