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Friend of my ex boyfriend

  • 09-09-2011 3:09pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    hey guys, I have a slight problem.

    A friend of a guy I dated admitted on a night out last week that he had feelings for me for the last year. We had remained friends after his friend and I broke up as we were in the same course and geniunely just got along really well.

    My friends had hinted for a long time that he liked me, but I never saw it. I love his personality, and its only in the last week Im beginning to feel stronger.

    The problem is, the night he told me, he took me aside when I was heading back to my friends ajnd told me how he felt, but that he couldnt because of my ex. even though he doesnt talk to my ex anymore, he lives in the same village as him you see. but then we kissed, but he said I cant and he got upset, he was mumbling that we couldnt be together YET. and that even though he didnt talk to my ex, it was still wrong. and then I told him to go back to his friends, its ok, just go. He wanted to walk me back but I declined and that night I texted to see if he was ok and so on. But he never replied. Maybe he didnt like me in the end, or the kiss, or something. Im so confused.

    Now Im totally confused. He hasnt talked to me since, but he doesnt avoid me on fb, as in he stayed online.

    I want to talk to him, and I think I feel the same, but I dont want to lose him as a friend over this, but how do I approach this, without saying we should stay as friends, as I do think we'd be good together, and yet not sound weird or desperate all the same.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Hi OP,

    I'd suggest talking to him in person, alone, and away from an alcohol-fuelled setting. Tell him that you don't want to mess up your friendship but lay your cards on the table and tell him you do have feelings for him. Ask him out straight why he is reluctant to take things further.

    It does seem strange that your ex would be a factor for him when they don't talk anymore.

    I think talking things out is the only way you'll know for sure. I'd avoid doing it over text message as its too easy for things to get misinterpreted. Face to face is definitely the way to go.

    I hope it all works out for you.


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