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Need Advice!

  • 09-09-2011 8:51am
    #1
    MinnieMouse91
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Hey! So im new to boards.ie so go easy on me if im posting this in the wrong place or manner :)

    I thought this place would be the best to ask a question i can't seem to answer myself.

    I'm starting 2nd year of college in Dub in a week and i've learnt alot about myself this summer. I'm not quite ready to come out yet but i really want to join the LGBT soc and make a few like minded friends. The only gay friend i had was from work and he just landed in australia. The only problem is i don't know what my current college friends will think of this and whether they'll stick by my side. I already know what my best friend in college thinks of lesbians and she's not narrow minded, she just doesn't have any time for them.

    I'm losing sleep over the idea of what is going to happen in the next few weeks if i tell them. I feel like a totally different person now and I'm ready to really start exploring my sexuality... but i don't want to lose any of my current friends.

    Should i bite the bullet and see what they say? Or just continue going to gay clubs in hope of finding some similar friends?! Any feed back at all would be great!


Comments

  • #2
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    Welcome.

    I can't say how you're friends will react, not knowing them, but if you feel ready to come out then surely you and they will have to deal with this at some point?

    If they are true friends, then hopefully they will stick with you through thick and then. As regards your best friend, I wouldn't read too much into her comments. I know my friends often said things which might be construed as intolerance or homophobia, but were absolutely great once one of their own actually came out.

    You will be able to gauge your friends reactions better obviously.

    The one thing I will say is that college is a great place to make new friends, especially if you are only in second year. You will never find it so easy to meet people in your own age group with similar interests. People in college see generally more open and accepting too.

    Good luck either way and enjoy college!


  • #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,158 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Go along to the LGBT society. You don't have to tell your friends you are doing this. If you are nervous contact them beforehand. I know UCD LGBT have a buddy system in place. Take your time with coming out to your friends. Do it when you feel more comfortable.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #4
    kiwipower
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 802 ✭✭✭kiwipower


    +1 to what Floggg said!

    I get the impression that you only made these friends over the last couple of weeks? If that is the case and you are feeling peer pressure to keep who you are to yourself, I would suggest thinking about are they really the sort of people you want to be friends with?

    That said, like Floggg said, people can surprise you! If/when you have the courage to state clearly and neutrally who you are, or your opinion, then give people space to digest the information, you may find that people can be be very supportive and understanding!

    Defiantly would recommend joining some socs and groups. I know when I landed in new towns (like Perth and Galway) I got to know a lot of folk by going to bars and clubs, just be careful, keep your wits about you, have a plan: Are you out to meet people and make friends? or are you out looking for a partner? Be aware of the chance that you may be scene as "fresh meat!" especially if your on your own!

    Personally through out life I have found Friends come and go! I come and go! Nothing is permanent! Your best friend will always be you!


  • #5
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Hey OP, I'm in the same boat as yourself! Thought about joining the LGBT soc last year but never had the courage to do it. Maybe this year I will! I was, like yourself, afraid of college friends finding out and reacting badly. I have been told that you can join the soc while not 'out' and they will respect your privacy. However, you may be watching over your shoulder when you go to events they run etc. or bump into friends while with other LGBT soc members...

    My advice would be to go for it though! and come out to your friends in your own time. Hopefully they will be fine about it :) Good luck!


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