Troubled

SamuelBam

Hello,

I need advice here please. I live with my boyfriend in his house and I pay my way i.e. I pay rent and bills. He lives here so in terms of rights it's owner occupier or whatever. Anyway his ex moved out after living here after they broke up. They left some of their stuff here and my boyfriend let them keep the house key they had. I don't know why but it bothers me...a lot.

We just had an argument over this because I text the ex telling them to come and get their stuff. I was friendly with them so it's not a big deal. My boyfriend went crazy saying the fact the stuff was still there is not my business and the fact the ex still has a key is not my business. I say it is as I pay rent here and I want to know who has access to the house etc.

Am I right to make him get the key back and get rid of the ex's junk?

BostonB

Give your ex a key, see how that goes down.

This is a relationship issue not a accommodation one.

Victor

I can move the thread to here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1174 if you wish.

Magicmatilda

It is not your house, it is his house.

Therefore from an accomadation point of view it is up to him to decide whether he is happy for his ex to have a key and have her stuff there. Is she still on the deeds? Is she co owner? if thats the case then she has a right to enter at any time. How did you even get her number to text her?

However this is not an accomadation issue. Its a relationship issue. If it was his sister who had stuff in the house and a key would you mind so much? It is up to your partner to decide whether your feelings on the subject matter to him? It seems he has decided that they do not. Otherwise once you said your weren't happy with the situation he would have contacted her and asked her to move her stuff by X date or he would get rid of it. he would also change the locks. Finally it is up to you to decide whether you want to be with someone who is inconsiderate of how you feel.

You cannot and should not MAKE your partner do anything. You can decide how you react to what he does though.

SamuelBam

Magicmatilda wrote: »

It is not your house, it is his house.

My boyfriend bought house and it's all in his name, she has no legal connection with the house. She moved in with him when he bought the house. She needed somewhere to live so she continued living here after they broke up. I came along then, I became friendly with her as we lived together so that's why I had her number.

I'm sorry but from accommodation point of view, my stuff is here and I don't want her to have a key. I pay rent so surely I have some say?

If it was his sister I wouldn't care. His mother has a key and I don't mind. The fact is she was basically a prick and she should not have a key!

SamuelBam

Victor wrote: »

I can move the thread to here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1174 if you wish.

Please do

conorhal

Well, this is both a property and relationship issue. From a property perspective, your boyfriend is very carefully keeping you at arms length in terms of any legal right you may have to a share of the property or your right to reside there.
At a tenant in an owner occupied property (effectively part of the rent a room scheme) you effectively have no rights or access to the PTRB, thus you can be asked to leave without any notice.
I don't know what the law might be regards a 'common law' right to property ownership (which you become entitled to if you have lived together for a certain period of time and become considered a 'common law wife') but that right may well be effected by virtue of the fact that you are living there as a tenant as opposed to a 'partner'.

In light of these two facts I think you should consider how such a calculating person actually views their commitment to your relationship.

As to the question of a prior tenents property stored in the house. If it's not in 'your room' then there is little you can do, but shouldn't your really have had the maturity to discuss the issues of the key and storage with your partner before calling his ex and telling her to shift it?

Perhaps he doesn't want to discuss any attachment he may have, emotional or otherwise, to his ex (or perhaps you don't want to know), in which case I would again suggest that you should consider your partners commitment to your relationship.

Magicmatilda

So the issue then is that your boyfriend won't ask her to move her stuff or ask for the key back?

I can understand that you have an issue with this, if fact I would myself I think but as you posted in the property forum I was pointing out that you have no right (legally) in this matter. You are a licensee not a tenant so you are not covered by any rights (again legally)

I really can understand you being annoyed with your boyfriend though. Has he said why he won't ask her for the key or to move her stuff? What is his reasoning?

Does he understand how much this upsets you?

It sounds like he is completeley ignoring your feelings on the situation. Are you prepared to break up over this? Its sounds like so far he is unwilling to budge regardless, if he is so uncaring what are you getting from the relationship?

Victor

Moved from Accommodation & Property.