In love with him but it's too late now

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I will try to make it as short as I can and thanks in advance for reading.
New housemate arrives and it’s great as we all get on very well and start spending more and more time together.
With this new guy, let’s call him George, I find myself feeling more and more interested into and getting on great.
He’s single but after a very long LTR and he’s dating other girls and I am seing someone too.
We chat a lot and he told me he knows a lot of people but he doesn’t really have any friend and he considers me his only real friend who he can open up with, talk to and be himself and he thinks this is special.

We ended up in bed too a few times but after we did it the first time and I saw he started being romantic and being nice with presents and thoughtful gestures I told him to stop as this was confusing me and I could not afford being romantically involved.

Things have changed though and I really like him now and I think I might want something more now but he told me he wants us to stay friends as I am his only friend.

Guys, what should I do?
I don’t want to mess things up

Thank you

Diane

squonk

Looks like the boat has sailed I'm afraid. You played games with him OP and he needs to protect himself and that's what he's doing. Just because you now decide that you want something more isn't really on.

On the other hand, what type of guy hangs around with you as friends which led to more and still wants to remain friends because you're his only friend? His only friend... christ! What sort of a guy is this? He sounds like a dweeb to be honest.

For your own sake and sanity I'd say get out of the house and move on. The longer you stay the more this whole situation will wreck your head. Chances are your initial reaction that you didn't want a relationship was how you actually felt but being around the guy since has altered your perception and is making you think you want things you don't. Don't beat yourself up with all of this. Make a break for it and meet new people.

Colonel_McCoy

Hi Diane,

I would just tell him how you feel, if he doesnt feel the same so be it. At least you will know and go move on without any regrets.

BrianE

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

Hi Diane,

I would just tell him how you feel, if he doesnt feel the same so be it. At least you will know and go move on without any regrets.

I agree. What's wrong with people expressing there true feelings. You should tell him you made a mistake and to give you a shot

Taltos

Nothing to stop you being his friend as well as his OH...

LegacyUser

thanks guys for the advise!

to be honest with you when at first told me I thought it was a good thing as it would mean being more than a fck buddy but now I am starting to have my doubts.
I think he got that I was becoming more involved and he told me this to make me understand that there is no ground for romance etc.

I don't know how it feels to him to see me hanging around the other guy and if that was a turn off for him.
A situation like this has never happened to me before so sorry if my ranting makes no sense but I am actually confused.

VikingG

ConfusedDiane wrote: »

Hi all,

he told me he wants us to stay friends as I am his only friend.

Hi Diane,
As a guy I can translate this.. it means that he likes you but is not interested in you...
move on... it is not that the boat as sailed it was never there for him

Taltos

VikingG wrote: »

Hi Diane,
As a guy I can translate this.. it means that he likes you but is not interested in you...
move on... it is not that the boat as sailed it was never there for him

As another guy you might want to read her original post. She told him to stop... You might want to check the rigging on that there boat

OP - talk to him and no more games

VikingG

Taltos wrote: »

As another guy you might want to read her original post. She told him to stop... You might want to check the rigging on that there boat

Ya ... maybe you're right and I am just being too cynical...

LegacyUser

well, if he's not interested, he's not interested..what can I do? it doesn't affect me in the way I perceive myself, I can only be saddened by it because I like him..

I will act as a friend and no more casual sex and then if he crossed the line he set, then he can always go and take a cold shower :-)

I don't like to attach tags to things, let alone relationship but he felt to do so, therefore we are going to act as friends

thanks again all

jimmycrackcorm

There's still nothing to lose if you want to try again. You need to be honest and forthright with him. It's possible because he had an interest in you and values you as a person who he can open up to.

So you threw a spanner in the works already, it just means you'll have to put more work into getting back on track because of it. Take a gamble on it and go all out - what do you have to really lose?