Changing my sons surname

mammybear7

Hi,

I am trying to change my 2yr old sons surname from his fathers surname to mine.

We concieved out of wedlock and shortly after parted ways.

He has since ceased visiting my son, ceased paying child maintenance, and most recently never even sent a birthday card.

I have asked him nicely to sign a Deed Poll legal document agreeing to the name change but he has plain right refused & said he will never sign it that my son will always have his fathers surname although he wants nothing to do with my son.

He said he will fight it through court over and over.

Is their a way to change this without the fathers signature, he no longer lives in the country or anything and until I contacted him for consent its been 10months since last contact.

Can someone please help me.

I'm desperate.

Regards

Mammybear7

golden virginia

mammybear7 wrote: »

Hi,

I am trying to change my 2yr old sons surname from his fathers surname to mine.

We concieved out of wedlock and shortly after parted ways.

He has since ceased visiting my son, ceased paying child maintenance, and most recently never even sent a birthday card.

I have asked him nicely to sign a Deed Poll legal document agreeing to the name change but he has plain right refused & said he will never sign it that my son will always have his fathers surname although he wants nothing to do with my son.

He said he will fight it through court over and over.

Is their a way to change this without the fathers signature, he no longer lives in the country or anything and until I contacted him for consent its been 10months since last contact.

Can someone please help me.

I'm desperate.

Regards

Mammybear7

I know from teaching that lots of students change their names - just overnight due to family circumstances. It may not formally be done through deedpoll, but most people and institutions will recognize it, in day to day matters. As your kid is only two - maybe I suggest just go by your name. In a few years or whatever you can legally change it.

January

Start using your surname, enrol him in playschool under your surname, in the doctors etc, once you can prove he's been using the surname on a day to day basis for two years then you'll be able to use it for passports etc.

AutoKadett

I have a son myself, he's 9 now and his mother and I split up when he was 1. His surname on his birth-cert is my surname, but he thinks his surname is her surname. Her surname is used on his passport, in school, for everything and like I said, he thinks that's his name. So you don't have to do anything to make him and anyone else believe your surname is his too. You can just do it. But legally I don't know where you stand. I've often wondered cause if my ex missus could legally change my son's name she would!

But my story is different to yours. I still see my son most weekends, and I give her money when I can (Unemployed with massive Mortgage!!). She chose to tell him his name was her's out of spite! Just to get at me for breaking up with her. I am really angry that she has done this when she had no real reason for it other than just for spite! And when my son sees his birth-cert later in life with my surname on it he will want to change it legally himself cause he will be used to the other name!

But I think you have a good reason to want to do this, and the father is the one being spitefull. From this day on if anyone asks his surname is yours and when getting a passport the same applies. If you've put his name down for a school already as being the father's surname you can change it. Let him change it legally himself later. Don't let him get used to the father's surname, which ever he gets used to he will more than likely keep.

XxMCRxBabyxX

AutoKadett wrote: »

I have a son myself, he's 9 now and his mother and I split up when he was 1. His surname on his birth-cert is my surname, but he thinks his surname is her surname. Her surname is used on his passport, in school, for everything and like I said, he thinks that's his name. So you don't have to do anything to make him and anyone else believe your surname is his too. You can just do it. But legally I don't know where you stand. I've often wondered cause if my ex missus could legally change my son's name she would!

But my story is different to yours. I still see my son most weekends, and I give her money when I can (Unemployed with massive Mortgage!!). She chose to tell him his name was her's out of spite! Just to get at me for breaking up with her. I am really angry that she has done this when she had no real reason for it other than just for spite! And when my son sees his birth-cert later in life with my surname on it he will want to change it legally himself cause he will be used to the other name!

But I think you have a good reason to want to do this, and the father is the one being spitefull. From this day on if anyone asks his surname is yours and when getting a passport the same applies. If you've put his name down for a school already as being the father's surname you can change it. Let him change it legally himself later. Don't let him get used to the father's surname, which ever he gets used to he will more than likely keep.

I thought you had to use your legal name on your passport?
i.e. the name on your birth cert?

Finnbar01

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I thought you had to use your legal name on your passport?
i.e. the name on your birth cert?

As the op January said, if you use the surname for at least two years and can prove it, then you can use that surname for your passport.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Finnbar01 wrote: »

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I thought you had to use your legal name on your passport?
i.e. the name on your birth cert?

As the op January said, if you use the surname for at least two years and can prove it, then you can use that surname for your passport.

Apologies, missed that bit!

Although I was still under the impression that you needed the legal name change as well?

January

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Apologies, missed that bit!

Although I was still under the impression that you needed the legal name change as well?

Nope, once you have documentary evidence of common usage (school enrolment letter or letter from doctor confirming name of child) you can get that name on the passport, of course you have to furnish birth cert too, but if accompanied by those letters they'll use the name you want.

wolfpawnat

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I thought you had to use your legal name on your passport?
i.e. the name on your birth cert?

I haven't used my birth surname in over half my life, my passport is in my new name, as are my bank account, my bills, my name on my child's birth cert!

Through usage, I am now seen as only this and in all legal matters I am my new name.

Zonn

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I haven't used my birth surname in over half my life, my passport is in my new name, as are my bank account, my bills, my name on my child's birth cert!

Through usage, I am now seen as only this and in all legal matters I am my new name.

Is that not a loophole in terms of criminal activities? If for example you commit a crime presenting yourself as your new name then deny responsibility proving with your birth details that your name is so and so and not what you used at the time of messing with the law? I think original birth details should never be changed because they are a true record. If changed at any stage it becomes in accurate.

catallus

^^^^ nonsense!

wolfpawnat

Zonn wrote: »

Is that not a loophole in terms of criminal activities? If for example you commit a crime presenting yourself as your new name then deny responsibility proving with your birth details that your name is so and so and not what you used at the time of messing with the law? I think original birth details should never be changed because they are a true record. If changed at any stage it becomes in accurate.

On all papers I have ever signed, including for passport, social welfare and even my bank account it states. Surname, first name, surname on birth cert. They acknowledge this happening. Frankly I cannot wait to be married so I can just have my partners name and not have this crap anymore!

Zonn

wolfpawnat wrote: »

On all papers I have ever signed, including for passport, social welfare and even my bank account it states. Surname, first name, surname on birth cert. They acknowledge this happening. Frankly I cannot wait to be married so I can just have my partners name and not have this crap anymore!

I think the system has had that open hole for too long if people can just fill forms with wrong names. The best you can do is more research and do what suits your situation. Its a messy bit of the laws.

wolfpawnat

Zonn wrote: »

I think the system has had that open hole for too long if people can just fill forms with wrong names. The best you can do is more research and do what suits your situation. Its a messy bit of the laws.

I never wanted any of this, it was done before I could do anything to alter it. The only thing is that thankfully the second name of the double barrell is my original and when filling mothers birth surname they see that is part of it too. I want to know why she was allowed alter it.

endacl

Zonn wrote: »

Is that not a loophole in terms of criminal activities? If for example you commit a crime presenting yourself as your new name then deny responsibility proving with your birth details that your name is so and so and not what you used at the time of messing with the law? I think original birth details should never be changed because they are a true record. If changed at any stage it becomes in accurate.

No. They can be amended, but not altered. I had an 'inadvertent gender reassignment' due to the registry clerk at the time completing the gender box on the form as 'female'. Once entered on the document the information can't be changed, but can be amended. I've an extra note in the margin of my cert confirming the fact that I am indeed, male.

Would have been handy if I was trans. Might have made for an interesting legal challenge!

Fittle

Op, I completely get why you would want to change your childs name.

However, I am about 10yrs further down the road than you are, with a 12yr old. His father stated from day one that he had no interest in his son, and he has stuck to his word (I get court ordered maintenance).

My son always had my surname but his father would not sign the birth registry, so my sons birth cert had nothing in the fathers section.

In the past couple of years, my son has begun to ask more and more about his dad, as I'm sure your child will. I have been as open and honest as I could be.

Last year, I decided to get his fathers name on his birth cert - I applied to the birth registry office, filled in a form and sent in the relevant documentation (a court order, referring to his dad as 'the father') and paid a small fee.

My son now has a birth cert with both his mother and fathers name. It's the least my son deserves, never mind what his father deserves.

It was also pointed out to me that in years to come, when my son (or his wife ) will inevitably decide to research his family history (as I did myself recently), his search on his fathers side would come to a stop with his own birthcert.

Now, he can trace his fathers side of the family if he ever chooses.

Like I said at the start, I completely get why you would want this mans name omitted from your sons life - but others are right, just start referring to him with your surname, give his new name to your GP and school - in time, you will be in a position to get his passport in your name (I worked in the ppo, and we regularly provided passports with common usage letters).