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I don't trust anyone

  • 07-09-2011 3:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm hoping that someone else has been in my position before and can help me.

    Bit of background:

    My dad cheated on my mother for years. I found out by reading his texts.

    I was in a LTR that broke up 4 years ago. He cheated on me frequently and I always forgave him. Towards the end I got sick of it and started cheating on him.

    I felt no remorse so ended it with him after I posted here about it and the good people of Personal Issues convinced me it was the right thing to do.

    Since then I've been in 3 relationships. None of these relationships ever lasting more than 7/8 months. I didn't trust any of these people. Always checking up on them, reading their texts etc.

    I'm currently in a relationship now that will be over soon because I can't stop myself from checking up on him.

    I can't control myself. I feel like everyone is out to get me and hurt me.

    I've been to councilling and it didn't help.

    Please somebody give me some advice.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    tissues wrote: »
    I'm hoping that someone else has been in my position before and can help me.

    Bit of background:

    My dad cheated on my mother for years. I found out by reading his texts.

    I was in a LTR that broke up 4 years ago. He cheated on me frequently and I always forgave him. Towards the end I got sick of it and started cheating on him.

    I felt no remorse so ended it with him after I posted here about it and the good people of Personal Issues convinced me it was the right thing to do.

    Since then I've been in 3 relationships. None of these relationships ever lasting more than 7/8 months. I didn't trust any of these people. Always checking up on them, reading their texts etc.

    I'm currently in a relationship now that will be over soon because I can't stop myself from checking up on him.

    I can't control myself. I feel like everyone is out to get me and hurt me.

    I've been to councilling and it didn't help.

    Please somebody give me some advice.

    Not what you probably want to hear, but it's generally a sound decision not to trust people outright. I have learnt from the past that in general, people are not to be trusted without verification. A couple of close reliable friends will serve you better than a large barrage of fair weather friends.

    Paranoia can be a good thing OP. Just don't overdo it.


  • #3
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    tissues wrote: »
    My dad cheated on my mother for years. I found out by reading his texts.

    .... Towards the end I got sick of it and started cheating on him.

    ..... I didn't trust any of these people. Always checking up on them, reading their texts

    tbf, you don't sound terribly trustworthy yourself.


  • #4
    evry1sm8
    Closed Accounts Posts: 284 ✭✭evry1sm8


    sam34 wrote: »
    tbf, you don't sound terribly trustworthy yourself.

    Ah but maybe she had reason? :confused:

    I dont know from first hand experience, but seeing that kind of betrayal in your family and then it happening to you as well would probably be enough to make someone distrusting and cause them to snoop out of anxiety?

    OP, you need to work on your own issues by yourself I think...
    Perhaps counselling or CBT work could help you?
    Once youve address your issues THEN you can enter into a relationship and be a healthy part of it, otherwise if you leave it like this and keep having relationships, you will only damage yourself more by having bad habits and becoming the very thing you are scared of- an untrustworthy person.

    I hope this helps.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sam34 wrote: »
    tbf, you don't sound terribly trustworthy yourself.

    I never said what I did was right. I was sick and tired of being used and wanted to see what it felt like to actually be the cheater. As soon as I cheated I realised our relationship wasn't worth it and ended it.

    He cheated on me at least 5 times and gave me an STD.
    evry1sm8 wrote: »
    Ah but maybe she had reason? :confused:

    I dont know from first hand experience, but seeing that kind of betrayal in your family and then it happening to you as well would probably be enough to make someone distrusting and cause them to snoop out of anxiety?

    OP, you need to work on your own issues by yourself I think...
    Perhaps counselling or CBT work could help you?
    Once youve address your issues THEN you can enter into a relationship and be a healthy part of it, otherwise if you leave it like this and keep having relationships, you will only damage yourself more by having bad habits and becoming the very thing you are scared of- an untrustworthy person.

    I hope this helps.

    My doctor has spoke to me about CBT and I'm on a list. No idea when I'll get seen to though.


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