Tell him about my past?

LegacyUser

Hi all,
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7months, and have gotten relatively more serious in the last 3. We're quite open in terms of communication, and I can talk to him about pretty much anything.
The thing is, in my late teens (we're now both in our mid 20s) I went through a fairly rough time and had some emotional problems. I'm not proud of it but it resulted in self harm and bulimia for a while. I sought therapy (which didn't help really) and over the course of the year, with the support of my mother and best friend, managed to recover. Have wobbled once or twice since, but have moved on and can deal with stress a fair bit better these days.
I haven't told my OH about this time in my life-it's not something that I'm actively keeping from him, I suppose I just don't like thinking about this time in my life and what I put my parents through. It also genuinely hasn't come up at any stage.
I guess what I'm asking is, should I let him know about my past problems? Or should I wait until the natural opportunity comes up? I suppose if it were me I'd probably like to know...

Beruthiel

Why do you feel obliged to say anything?
If it was still on going and you were still having these problems, then sure, he should know.
But this is all behind you. In the past.
Allow it to come up naturally if you wish, but don't feel you need to say anything.

lace

Hi OP! If you've put this all behind you and want to move on from it then there's nothing to say you have to sit him down and explain it all to him. If it comes up in conversation and you feel comfortable talking about it with him then tell him about it. Would you feel better getting it off your chest and having it out in the open? If you do then there's no harm in telling him.

King of Kings

why not tell him?
There is nothing to be ashamed of in what happened.

Magicmatilda

I can understand why you want to tell him. I have been through similar and I have told my boyfriend. Although its in the past it is still a part of my life that happened and while I was not happy then it went towards making me who I am now. In telling my partner about something that I was not proud of, I was revealing that I had once been someone very different and someone he might not like, that takes trust. I suppose I feel telling my partner brought a new level of trust to the relationship where I learned to be vulnerable in front of him. A new level of intimacy if you like. I feel it strenghtened my relationship. Had I not told him I would have felt I wasn't revealing all of myself, that I was holding something back, that would have been detrimental to the relationship. Whether you let it come up organically in conversation or whether you sit him down and tell him I think you should. If you felt completely happy and honest not telling him then you wouldn't be posting here. Allow him to see you, if he loves you he will love you anyway, I don't know him but in my experience most people judge us on how they find us not how we were, chances are he is the same. Best of luck.

funloving

I totally understand where you are coming from OP.
Don't feel obliged to talk to him about this but if you feel like doing it, then go on..
Some of the things you may say or the way you react at times could be better understood by him if he has some background...

best of luck

VikingG

I'll put it this way ... You don't have to tell him but you also do not need to hide it....
What I mean... stop thinking that because you feel the relationship has got to a particular stage that you HAVE to divulge this ... as if it was really dark past. You had an issue .. you got over it... great..
But also it is nothing to be ashamed of .. so if somehow the topic came up you should feel free to talk about it.