Need direction in my life

LegacyUser

I'm a male of 28 and I've worked in the construction industry since finishing school. Not being from a very well-to-do family and having dithered, post leaving cert, I never made it to third level or even got a trade etc.

Things are brutal, obviously. I had a comfortable lifestyle all along but now, I find myself lonely/ single and with less income than I had at 21. I have little hope of changing things any time soon, either. I have little hope of buying houses or anything of that nature for a long time yet.

I also suffered an incident this year that gave me two new circumstances. 1) I had an epiphany associated with a (very) near death experience and 2) a small few bob in my pocket as a result of the expedited insurance wrangling. I'm no compo freak but they were eager to keep me sweet, having suffered minor injuries and lucky to escape with my life. Having done quite a bit of soul searching this year, I've identified the major sources of dissatisfaction in my life and I've decided to rectify them!

One of my major grievences was that I had never really travelled. I'm leaving in the new year for a currently undetermined period of time! My guess is 6-12 months!! It's definitely a major box ticked. However, my parents aren't getting any younger and I was never really that dissatisfied with life here. So at this stage, I believe my life is in Ireland though, of course, you'd never know how things might pan out.

The other major source of dissatisfaction to me is my lack of education. I've decided the next few years would be best spent rectifying this rather than being 'lucky' enough to have subsistance in construction. The question is how do I do this? I'm giving up my 'good' job to see the world and see how things go thereafter.

I can't (and don't want to) burden my aging parents. They have financial woes of their own. I have no idea what the state can do to help me. I don't have any knowledge of how third level education systems can be used by someone in my position. I have tried asking people who I would have regarded as being in-the-know but most suggestions amount to borderline Social Welfare fraud, IMO.

The other problem is I have no idea what fields to consider. I have always suffered problems with concentration (probably a left brain/ right brain thing- I don't know). I know the sciences or anything heavily maths based is probably just not for me.

In other words, I need guidance. How do I figure out where I want to be. I'm too old to give things a go and give them up if I don't like them. Then, how do I figure out how to get there? I'm really just drawing a blank.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I am a friend

Well done to you for going travelling.

You come across as very articulate and with your head well screwed on. Are you interested in reading? Have you ever considered training to be a teacher?

It might be worth while making an appointment with a career guidance professional and even getting in some college applications next year but they can best advise you in that.

quiz

I am 27 and in the very same boat. Cant get a job in what I studied. Going to do the 6 month SE Asia thing to take a break in january and then sort things out.

there are free career personality tests online that will give you a list of jobs that suit your preferences. IT is an industry with a lot of promise.

Good luck.

horseone

On the education front, not sure what funding options are available out there to a mature student in your position. The Citizens Advice people are usually very good at poinitng out what’s out there in terms of entitlements etc. I’d definitely give them a visit.

One industry well worth considering is IT. It’s been one of the few industries to remain resilient throughout the recession. More specifically there’s a shortage of programmers out there at the min. After the dot com bubble burst in the early noughties, the whole industry contracted big time in much the same way as construction has done in the last 2-3years. This virtually killed off interest/demand in IT undergraduate courses at the time which has now led to a shortage of skilled people today.

Whether you like it enough to make a career out of it, only you can answer that one OP.

StillWaters

Make an appointment with Adult Guidance Officer in your local VEC. They will advise you of your options, both regarding courses and funding available.

LegacyUser

I don't advise computers at all. I have a useless software degree and very few that graduated with me are actually working in it, and unless you have a passion for computers I REALLY don't suggest I.T. either. Unless you are getting your degree for free (ie go on the dole for a year and then get paid to go to college), wouldn't advise college at all. There are too many people in this country at the moment with degrees on the dole. Go traveling, really think about what makes you happy, what do you love doing? Then come back and study that. Sure if you don't get a job out of it, at least it will be an enjoyable 3-4 years of your life, and at some point you might make money out of it.

The Aspirations Coach

Well done in your decision to go travelling. It sounds like it is exactly what you need right now! Use the time that you are away to get to know yourself. You have such a high level of self-awareness already so expand on that and challenge yourself. I work with people on a daily basis who are looking to answer the 3 questions that plague people in their twenties.
Who Am I?
What do I want?
How do I get what I want?

The first question needs to be answered first and it is difficult for many people. If I asked someone 'who are you?- I often get a blank face back. If I ask 'who are you with your friends?' 'who are you with your family?' 'who are you in work?'- it's a lot easier because we define ourselves by the things/people/circumstances outside ourselves.

The key to answering the questions and uncertainty you have at the moment is to understand what you have learned to think and believe about yourself so far in your life. Honestly, just get out a pen and paper and write the heading 'Who Do I think I am'- don't think about it or plan it, but just write down whatever comes to your mind. Then read it and learn about yourself. Have you written anything down that is holding you back or keeping you stuck?

We pick up beliefs about ourselves and what is possible for us as we go through life and because we believe certain things to be true, we look for evidence in the world to prove that we're right. We're human- we always want to be right. Is there anything that you have picked up about what you can or cannot do which might not be true? Examine your beliefs carefully and challenge them. Is there anything holding you back? What do you believe is beyond your reach? Write down these statements and finish them off with whatever comes to your mind

People like me don't.....
Someone like me would never...
What I've been told is not for me includes....
Some of the things I had decided were not realistic for me include..
Something/someone I had decided was out of my league includes....

Another thing to be aware of is what is called a sense of entitlement- the deep feeling that anything you want in the world is available to you, that you deserve and are entitled to create and achieve anything you want in life.


Imagine if you could begin to expand on your sense of what is possible for you in your life with the feeling that you can move through life and go anywhere, that any door and every door is open to you.
Imagine if you could elevate your self-worth so that you never again think 'Why me' or 'who am I to..' and instead think, 'why not me? and ' If not me, then who?'.

Imagine if you could begin to act bigger and bolder from today onwards, walking in the footsteps of those with a brilliant sense of entitlement, acting as they would and taking decisive action that will redefine you and recast you as a person with entitlement running deeply through them.

Think Oprah Winfrey- born into a ghetto, so disadvantaged, abused, had a stillbirth at 13 years of age but developed a huge sense of entitlement despite all that- now one of the wealthiest and most respected women in the world.

Bob Geldof- again a disadvantaged background, his mother died when he was 7 and he was raised by his two older sisters. He got on the phone and started a worldwide movement that changed the lives of millions through LiveAid.

So this post is much longer than I had intended but trust me, I know what I'm talking about! I've been exactly where you are now and I work with people on these exact things every day.

When you know who you are, what's important to you and have that gorgeous sense of entitlement it will be so much easier for you to decide what you want and how to get it.

Tips for getting started on knowing what you want-
1. What are your hobbies
2. What do you do well that people come to you for help with?
3. What kind of books do you read, films do you watch- is there a pattern/trend?
4. If you won the lotto and didn't have to work- what would you do on a day to day basis?
5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
6. What are you passionate about?
7. What is your dream?

I'm gonna stop there but I really hope this is helpful to you! PM me if you've any questions!

best of luck and enjoy seeing the world!!

Paula

ShizDink

how do you achieve a sense of entitlement? if its something you have not had for decades it must be difficult to turn around