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Ambivalent relationship

  • 05-09-2011 11:09pm
    #1
    Evaex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭


    Hi,

    Just wondering if any of you have been in an ambivalent relationship. I mean where alot of your time is spent thinking about whether to stay with your partner or leave, when you are bouncing along in the neutral zone betwen completely happy in a relationship or would probably be happier moving on. The point is that you don't want to be dragged along anymore. Of course we could work on the relationship more - that's what we've been doing the last 2,5, 10 years...but the point is when is enough, enough.

    How did you get clarity to make a decision either way, and did you regret your decision?

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,253 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    You'll get a better spread of answers here Evaex

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #3
    gmac102
    Closed Accounts Posts: 169 ✭✭gmac102


    Evaex wrote: »
    Hi,

    Just wondering if any of you have been in an ambivalent relationship. I mean where alot of your time is spent thinking about whether to stay with your partner or leave, when you are bouncing along in the neutral zone betwen completely happy in a relationship or would probably be happier moving on. The point is that you don't want to be dragged along anymore. Of course we could work on the relationship more - that's what we've been doing the last 2,5, 10 years...but the point is when is enough, enough.

    How did you get clarity to make a decision either way, and did you regret your decision?

    Thanks

    No I personally didnt regret my decision to leave, I felt that if I truly loved him. I shouldnt feel like ending it half the time. I ended it because I didnt want to waste the best years of my life with someone I was so so about!


  • #4
    magpieseye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8 ✭magpieseye


    I'm wondering the same thing mysef! Been with a realy great guy for 2 years now. He treats me so well and my family and friends tel me how lucky I am. He tells me how strongly he feels and I do think the world of him. I just don't feel like my feelings match his exactly. I feel I could get there though. Don't want to waste his time waiting on that feeling where you ';just know' but don't want to regret leaving an amazing person either. Would love to ear other replies to this.
    Are you with your partner 10 years?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yup, been with my partner for just over 4 years. Had a world wind beginning to the relationship but after that there were many times that I would think about it but always thought that I was just being foolish and this is how all relationships are like.

    Now I'm not so sure, the last year the moments have come along more often that I think we should break up and then either I'll feel guilty as he's been so good to me, or I'll just ignore it so another few months pass. I know that we'll break up once I get the confidence to do it - I'm making excuses now as he's financially dependent on me at the moment so don't want to leave him in a difficult position. The fact that I've had those feelings so often tells me that I should have finished the relationship a few years ago.

    I think if you're having real thoughts about breaking up so often, you're with the wrong person. If it's just a "ranting" talk of breaking up, i.e the OH is nagging so you'd wish you were temporarily single, then that's alright.


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