does he love me

murreemurree

ok i want someone to ask me 10 questions and going by the answers i will decide whether my boyfriend is truly in love with me. what are questions that would let me know other than him saying he loves me how can you ever be sure? i'm asking because i felt so loved by him up until recently. i trusted him completely but he's started to lie about things- drinking and nights out etc. he knows i dont approve of him drinking whiskey as it makes him go insane. so he drank it and hid it from me. the other night he was drunk and he opened a bottle of whiskey and just drank it in front of all his mates when i was there as he knew i wouldnt give out to him in public....

Batgurl

Stop...breathe...now think for a minute...reach down into the pit of your stomach and ask yourself the question...does he love me?

Then trust what your gut is telling you. I find that when I'm being calm and rational, my gut is generally right. So if you are sure that he loves you, then there's your answer. But if you feel deep down that there is some doubt...

...sorry but that's how I do things.

murreemurree

Batgurl wrote: »

Stop...breathe...now think for a minute...reach down into the pit of your stomach and ask yourself the question...does he love me?

Then trust what your gut is telling you. I find that when I'm being calm and rational, my gut is generally right. So if you are sure that he loves you, then there's your answer. But if you feel deep down that there is some doubt...

...sorry but that's how I do things.

thanks batgurl ,i know what u mean. i think my gut tells me he does love me

murreemurree

although i had my appendix removed so maybe it doesnt mean much haha

Kadongy

Does he belittle you ever? Does he blow hot and cold to a very great extent? Does he take responsibility when you catch him out in a lie - or does he refuse to or twist things or go along with it like he's accepting punishment rather than responsibility?

yes to the first two and no to taking responsibility means he probably does not love you.

Karen8

murreemurree wrote: »

he's started to lie about things- drinking and nights out etc. he knows i dont approve of him drinking whiskey

If you want to know the truth, you have to be prepared to accept it. Not the 'truth' you would like to hear, but his truth. If you can't, most men simply takes the easiest option - to lie. They just don't like drama and scandals and do everything to avoid it.

Btw, you can't change the person unless he wants to change. It might take time, but sooner or later you will realize that.

Kadongy

You can't change people at all. And you should never try to. It is not your place to in any adult relationship. You either accept or dont accept.
People can change themselves. If someone loves you they may change what you don't accept. But trying to change others is always bad.

Kadongy

About half of men take the easiest option. About half of women take the easiest option too. There is a tendency people to be more aware of this in the gender they are attracted to: They simply don't have the same occasion to see it in a gender they don't get into relatinoships with.

If you are unable to hear the truth then more people will lie to you. All you achieve with most drama and scandals is to create a liar. But the truth is, even if you are ready to hear anything, about half of people will still lie for their own convenience.

Find the better half I guess, and make sure you are in that half yourself.