Slept together on a second date...

cottonsocks

Hi all,

Going to do my best to keep this brief. I met a guy online. Messaged and texted a bit, then decided to meet up. First date was fine, a day date. This week we met up for our second date. We went for dinner, had wine with it, and one thing lead to the other and he came back to mine and we slept together. I wouldn't normally do this, and now I regret it, but I was absolutely hammered and didn't seem to think at all. A part of me thinks if I really was unsure about him I wouldn't have done it. Anyway, I remember talking in the morning about going to the cinema Friday night. I text him on Friday to see if he still wanted to go, but he said he was busy and suggested we meet Saturday. He had already said he was going out Saturday but said he could cancel. I didn't want to seem too eager so I told him not to cancel on my account. We were texting Saturday, and the day passed with no mention of meeting, and then he just stopped texting around 9. Has he lost interest? Have I blown it by sleeping with him? Or is that all he wants from me?

I am a friend

Only he can answer that... You slept together quickly and then you asked him out on a date- maybe he thinks you will do all the work so is sitting back.

I would let him make the next moves. He knows you like him so let him contact you and arrange the next date. If he is interested he will, if not then you have your answer..

Don't play games but don't be so available.

I am a friend

I am a friend wrote: »

Only he can answer that... You slept together quickly and then you asked him out on a date- maybe he thinks you will do all the work so is sitting back.

I would let him make the next moves. He knows you like him so let him contact you and arrange the next date. If he is interested he will, if not then you have your answer..

Don't play games but don't be so available.

Don't be so available? He asked her out and she said no, she didn't suggest another day instead, then he stopped asking.

Not to mention, OP, he said he had plans - he would be very rude to be glued to his phone if he's out with friends or something. Of course he stopped texting. If you mean 9 on saturday as in 13-14 hours ago... you really need to chill out. Say you hope he had a good time and that you'd like to go out on monday/tues/whatever. Otherwise he's going to take it you're not interested since you didn't want to meet despite his offer.

I am a friend

Yeah bluewolf you are right - I misread it and thought she had suggested Saturday night as well.

Op of he wants to cancel his night out to are you that's his call. Why would you tell him not to cancel his plans for you, if you want to see him? Mixed messages there ...

Try organising another night but chill out a bit.

Kadongy

maybe it's:

Him: Don't want to seem too keen...oh she doesn't want to meet up again
You: Don't want to seem too keen...oh he doesn't want to meet up again

Sonics2k

To be fair OP, it's only been a day, and it's still Sunday morning.

He did say he was going out last night, so maybe he really wasn't able to text you.

No need to panic really.

fghijkl

He said he was going out Saturday but said he could cancel. I told him not to cancel on my account. We were texting Saturday, and the day passed with no mention of meeting

Why would he mention meeting you when you had already told him not to cancel his plans and meet you on saturday? As far as he's concerned he suggested a date and you said no.

He stopped texting you because he was out. He's hardly going to be glued to his phone all night, it'd look so rude to his friends/whoever he was out with.

It's only sunday morning!! give the guy a chance here OP, he's prob still in bed with a hangover or something!

Has he lost interest? Have I blown it by sleeping with him? Or is that all he wants from me?

OP honestly? You're going to blow the whole thing by being so needy. Seriously. Forget that you slept with him early (early by who's standards anyway?!), so what if you did? If both of ye enjoyed yourselves then what's the problem?

This notion that a man will "lose interest" because you slept with him too soon is bu**sh*t. He slept with you too. And if he is the type of guy who would be so hypocritical to get rid of you over this, you have to ask yourself would you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who is so prudish/has such a warped view of sex?

Relax OP. He offered to cancel plans just to meet you. That's definitely a good sign but i really think the balls in your court now, i know if i offered to cancel plans for someone and they said not to bother, i'd take it as rejection.:(

Text him this evening or tomorrow and ask him out or he's going to think you're the one who doesn't want him!

Miss Fluff

Are you instigating all the texts? Who initially suggested the cinema on Friday? I know you had to text him on Friday to see if he still wanted to go so I'm taking it was your idea in the first place?

Aside from the confusion, it seems to me you are very very keen and very anxious that he like you and if this is coming across to him then it's going to put him right off.

If he is interested you will know about it and he'll be tripping over himself to arrange another date. I wouldn't go suggesting another date now. You can, if you are texting each other, say something like you look forward to meeting up again or something to give him the green light but let HIM suggest the next date.

G-Money

Not sure what to say here OP but the one thing that jumped out at me was, if you tell him not to cancel his plans, don't expect him to somehow interpret that as you wanting him to cancel his plans and do something with you instead.

Now it's quite possible that's not what you intended, however it did come across as bit as you were half expecting him to cancel his plans despite you telling him not to. And before someone starts saying "Oh that's us guys, we're stupid, we need plenty of hints blah blah". That's not the case at all. No-one should be forced to 2nd guess someone and what they mean.

If you told him not to cancel his plans, then don't be surprised if he, (or anyone) takes you at your word and sticks to what was on the cards all along.

From what I've read, I don't think he's necessarily lost interest. He probably knows you are interested and feels he can relax a bit now. I don't mean he thinks he can take you for granted or that you will be at his beck and call, far from it. But he's probably thinking he can ease up a bit and perhaps doesn't have to try as hard to get you interested.

As a guy, it can be a bit of a hard time when you like a girl and you're trying to suss out if she's interested in you or what she thinks of you. You kind of feel the need to chase them up a bit to find out where you stand and once you know they're interested, you can relax a bit. Or at least that's how it is for me. If I like her, I can get pretty anxious as to whether she's interested and I start worrying a bit about her possibly meeting someone else in the meantime. Although once she's let me know she's interested, I relax a lot more and just let things flow naturally.

As I say, it's not a case of taking the girl for granted and I don't think that is what he is doing here. It's not like he's leaving you hanging on for days and weeks with no contact.

cuddlylad

just txt him, simple. ask him had he a good night sat night?? move on, guys are different from girls and dont really analyse this sort of this as much!!!

Stench Blossoms

cuddlylad wrote: »

just txt him, simple. ask him had he a good night sat night?? move on, guys are different from girls and dont really analyse this sort of this as much!!!

Agree with this. Text him and suggest another date. If he doesn't reply then move on. Atleast you'll have a bit of closure then.