Small town Ireland,is it ready for the concept of gender being reassigned?.

Freiheit

Was with a psychiatrist during the week as part of the gatekeeping process. In her words 'smalltown Ireland',(which I assume she meant Ireland outside of Dublin?) isn't ready the concept. So she recommended that I move away and enter deep stealth,maybe returning in the distant future if I chose to. She said that 'it isn't realistic in smalltown Ireland not to experience chatter and negativity',said this wouldn't be from a majority of people but enough to make my life uncomfortable. Thus she recommended removing myself from where I am currently based and create a new identity in deep stealth.

I'm just wondering what others think of this. Regretably I think there's a fair bit of truth in what she said. What do others think of the state of affairs outside the capital?.

Alles gutes
F

mikemac

Yes, Dublin is full of young urban sophisticated people, the open minded elites and the rest of Ireland is backward mucksavages afraid of anything unfamiliar :rolleyes:

Sure didn't we go through all this in the Norris debate

Blanket generalizations are never good, no matter where they come from

I don't know anything about stealth or know what gatekeeping is so I can't comment on that

Your question was on Dublin vs the Rest and your psychiatrist should know that every case is different and should be the last person to throw out blanket generalizations
Surely this is the one forum that stereotypes are not readily accepted?

So maybe find a new professional to deal with? Or next time ask them to clarify everything you don't follow so you don't need to guess or assume
Take a notepad next time and jot down questions you can ask at the end

Azure_sky

Good question. I never lived in "the sticks" so I really don't know what it's like bar stereotypes from Killinaskully etc. What I do know is that the larger cities are far from havens of enlightenment either. Too be frank, Skangers are going to be your biggest issue in a city. They prey on those who don't adhere to their norms. That's not saying that the upper middle class are not incapable of bigotry and ignorance either, but they are less likely to assault and verbally harass you. From other transwomen I've found that minorities are pretty much indifferent. It's like a cloak of anonymity.

I've personally found that the goth/indie crowd are the most open minded. They tend to live in between the city centre and the inner city-and half of them are androgynous bisexuals themselves.

Freiheit

Look I don't mean any offence by generalisations,they are just that,generalisations.

I don't 'deal' with the professional as such,it was a one off appointment and have no need to see her again and in any event her judgment,on whether Ireland outside Dublin is more or less tolerant has no impact on my life.

Gatekeeping means ensuring one fulfills various criteria before gaining access to the gender reassignment process,the first medicaly will usually be hormones,although not everyone follows the medical route.

I don't know how tolerant Dublin is,I've never lived there. I do relate to what the Psychiatrist said in that a community where most people know each other it would probably be very hard and that's kinda where I am now. So makes sense to move out.

Perhaps those communities are replicated in Dublin too,I don't know,or is Dublin more used to different identities so that communities there are more tolerant? Look that's the stereotype but I don't know and don't mean to offend anyone.

Links234

The part of this I have an issue with is the part about people not being "ready for the concept" of gender reassignment?

this is utterly ridiculous, because it's not about the fact that people aren't ready, it's that they've never been confronted with the issue in their personal life before, or they haven't been exposed to trans people before beyond what might be shown to them in the media. and if they're never exposed then how can they ever truly be ready?

also, you're not going to get away from "chatter and negativity" by moving to a bigger city either. people WILL talk. that much is an absolute certainty and you'd be better off learning how to deal with that than trying to run away from it. I can't imagine any place on the planet, where people aren't gonna be negative or chatter. god knows, even if you moved to a community that was all trans people, you know that some of them would be as judgmental, negative and bitchy as any cis people would be.

people tried to tell me I should have moved to Dublin to transition. I didn't want to do that, so I didn't. I'd much rather stay where I am and deal with whatever **** I might get. there's gonna be ignoramuses everywhere, and I doubt there's gonna be any exceptions either.

Azure_sky

I was just thinking about this....ah to be honest I'm hoping to move to Dublin soon. The bigger the city the less likely one will experience hate. It's a stereotype but stereotypes don't create themselves. Ideally I'd love to live in Scandinavia, Holland or Thailand. The less of Jehova the better.
I'd just love to live in a more trans friendly society.

Freiheit

Actually Links I think that's a superb post and it's the future. Why should any minority move away just because of who they are?. Shouldn't and people will have to get used to realities and they will if they encounter them. The ghetto is not a nice place and I won't be going there.

I suppose a slight difference between Links and I is that Links appears very happy in the West of Ireland. I'm not sure if there is much for me in my hometown on any level really,but if I do move it'l be because another place better meets my needs on a holistic level,not because of my identity,feck that.:rolleyes:

Annasopra

This is like theories of disability (very very simplified non academic explanation here)

The medical model suggests that there is a problem with the individual that they have to be rehabilitated (by moving to Dublin because people there are supposedly more accepting)

The social model would view the problem as the small town being less accepting as the problem and would take the view that that's what needs to be changed. In other words society should adjust to you - you shouldn't have to adjust to society.

So in a sense by accepting what your counsellor said you are problematising your own identity and accepting that the problems that others might have with it is your problem.

Freiheit

Thanks Mango Salsa,yeah your right. I'm not going to accept that from anyone again if people tell me I have to move away. People move for all sorts of reasons but my identity shouldn't be one of them. All that does is reinforce the stigma and retain it for future generations. None of which means that there won't be talk but I'll handle it,more easily if I've support.

****10 minutes later,You know I'm probably a bit traumatised from the homophobia I experienced from the locals when working behind the bar. It's a different scene now but I took terrible verbal batterings in my late teens/early 20's here. I wasn't strong enough then to adaqautely defend myself,I am now though and there's probably a bit less hostility too.

Freiheit

Just an additional point though after reflection,there's no doubt that being an area where one hasn't got a significant profile,would be much easier,in the short term anyway.