Worried About Grads

Ed Sheeran

Hi,
I'm a boy in 5th year now and I know that I don't have my Grads for another year and a half now, but I'm already very worried about who am I going to bring. I don't go out with my friends at the weekends because I don't live near them but I do have a lot of friends in school.

But, most of my friends are boy's aswell. Outside of school I only talk to girls on facebook. But there are a few girls in my school who I would talk to in person. I don't really have the confidence to talk to girls.

If I was on my own with a girl, I could talk to her, but in a group I wouldn't be able to. The girls who I am friendly with in my school are going out with my other friends so I won't be able to ask them to go to the Grads because they'll obviously be going with them.

But there is another girl in my class who I like and who I would go with if I could, but I'm not sure whether or not I could ask her.

I am 16 now, and will be 17 in November. Then I will be driving and I will be able to ask girls if they would want to go for a spin, then I could get them on their own and maybe build a relationship with them.

I don't want to sound like a weirdo aswell by asking a girl now, would they go to my grads in a year and a half's time.

I'd just like to know what would ye think I could do, I will be extremely grateful for all of your help/advice.

Ed Sheeran

Aswell, I find it hard to make friends and I only trust a small number of people. The other person has to make the first step really, to become friends because I don't mix with people very easily[don't know why].

And aswell if I had the chance to get into a relationship, I would try and have a real serious one so I feel that I would scare the girl off.

Aswell, there is one girl in my class who I really like. I find her very attractive and I can talk to her very easily[But like I said, only when we're on our own]. I only started talking to her last year, in 4th year but I get on with her very well. But she's going out with one of my friends. I was hoping that maybe they would finish their relationship and I could maybe ask her to the Grads but it seems that they are getting a bit more serious now, and it's looking less likely that they will finish their relationship any time soon.

LegacyUser

Surely there is some sort of town with amenities nearby. Unless things have changed very drastically from when I was in school, then people still like the cinema. Its simple, and will cater to most peoples tastes. I'm presuming that the people at home will in some way facilitate social interaction and thus occasionally bring you to these places. You say you have a lot of friends but later on you say you find it hard to make friends and don't trust people, so maybe you need to clarify.

You obviously have confidence issues, and the way you think is unhealthy if you don't mind me saying. Do you think other guys find it simple when it comes to girls? You are not unique. The difference is many bite the bullet and make some attempt, but you just decide you can't. You will get nowhere in life with your negative attitude. Go and make small talk with one! They aren't aliens! In class ask for a pen or something from a girl you don't know, slow and steady. You're not going to become sociable overnight, you need a complete change in mentality.

You just have to take chances. You only live once.

A car is not the solution to your problems. So lets nip that one in the bud right now.

You say the other person has to make the first step. Well sorry but thats no good. If you want to make female friends (and more friends in general) then you can't sit back! You need to bring yourself to the table, everyone isn't going to move the table to you!!!!!!

What are you on about with your relationship line? You have never been in a relationship or even close to one. You don't talk to girls (regularly anyway). Why have you decided what might hypothetically happen in a situation you have never even come close to encountering and then using that as a negative??!!!

The girl you like, its not going to happen. Leave it, now. Shes with someone, you can't have her. Stop trying to justify yourself by saying that the one you want is unavailable. And you were content to wait for her? Just another way to do nothing!

You need a serious change in attitude. Be positive, proactive.

I apologise if this is harsh but you need a wake up call.

php-fox

If I were you I'd focus on passing your LC and getting a good grade that would get you into a course you want, instead of worrying about a person that you will need in 2 years time. (and here I thought I always planned my things in advance).

Regarding friendship, and girls, you pointed out yourself that you're good at one-to-one conversations. Use this to your advantage. Isolate her, catch her when she is alone and ask her to the movies or something.

Good luck!

Overheal

I didn't go to mine; it wouldn't be the end of the world, but you're young and I'm in a good mood so I'm going to encourage you,

The girls who I am friendly with in my school are going out with my other friends so I won't be able to ask them to go to the Grads because they'll obviously be going with them.

But there is another girl in my class who I like and who I would go with if I could, but I'm not sure whether or not I could ask her.

You even have the benefit of a Co-Ed class! Jerk! In my day we shoveled a driveway full of snow for a nickel and there was gender segregation! If you wanted to talk to a girl you had to march FIFTEEN MILES across Ennis during your lunch-hour and make sure as hell you were back in time before you got yourself in trouble from that walking turkey neck. What was his name... Was it McDonnough or was he the nice one? Not the one that looked like Santa, that dude was legit. But I digress. What were we talking about again?

So there are a lot of girls that already have plans. OK. Are you friends with any of them though? I'm sure you could think of at least one or two of them you could trust confidently to see if they knew anybody who still needed someone to go with, or, if they would help you get with this girl that you are interested in. At least that's what I would do. You could definitely use some girls that you would count amongst your friend's here to give you that confidence boost to go for it

Co-ed schools.... that would have been nice.

tenchi-fan

You mean debs? Or when did people start calling it a grads?

Eh just ask a girl you don't really like but who wants to go. There'll be no shortage.

I think a grad and a debs are two separate things, right?

Look, OP. You have a year to wait before you have to ask somebody so don't worry about it! There's so much more important things than this! Just get to know somebody. Hell, you might get to know somebody naturally, without going out of your way to organize it, way before that time even comes.

So don't worry. Between now and then work on building up your confidence when chatting in groups and with individuals. Obviously in other areas too. Regardless of in school, these will benefit you greatly beyond, especially in college. llege.

LegacyUser

Grad and Debs are the same thing.. Just different names in different parts of the country.

As said above, you have to be positive and pro-active. I know it's difficult at school, but I certainly wouldn't be worried about it until next year. The fact that you go to a mixed school and have some female friends, you're doing well.

Chill.