Should cousins date.....

Dazzler88

Last summer,I dated a 2nd cousin of mine for about 4 months.We never really knew each other growing up because she only moved back from England around 10 years ago.When we dated we got on really well and had a real connection.We never fell out had and got on real well.Then a few nights when we out together,some of our other cousins made jokes like Cousinly love and silly remarks.

It didn't bother me at the time,I just ignored it.Then around Halloween time,she said it was best that we didn't continue seeing each other and best just stay friends.So I agreed,even though I was still mad about her.

To cut a long story short,we met each other last weekend and ended up drinking together.It was great fun and we got talking about old times.She told me that I was the best relationship she was ever in and I told her likewise.She also told me that if we weren't cousins,she had no doubt we would still be together.

I told her that it didn't bother me and that I was still mad about her.She said she still liked me but we were going face the same narrow minded people that we did the last time,she said that she ended it because she knew what people were saying was getting to me,even though I told her it didn't.So nothing happened on saturday night.

I cant stop thinking about her now.I text her twice since but to no reply.What should I do?Should I give her time to herself?Any advice would be great.

Moon Indigo

It sounds like you have your head alot more around the whole situtation than her. I think if you haven't already laid it on the line that you want a relationship then meet up and clear the air once and for all. If you have already done this then my advice would be to give her some time and space.

As regards to the cousins dating thing I think each to their own. Personally I feel take happiness where ever you can grab it. If you are two adults its your choice at the end of the day. If it went further down the road I'm not sure of the medical implications if any.

Long story short it sounds as if you have it bad. As I have said you seem further on the road and more open to this relationship than she is right now. Give her some space but let her know how you feel and that the door is open. Then as hard as it is step back... It has to be her choice and forcing that won't help anyone or anything. All the best!

Dazzler88

Moon Indigo wrote: »

If you have already done this then my advice would be to give her some time and space.

I haven't said I wanted to give it another go because I didn't realize until last weekend that she was still interested.When we broke up she never said why and like an eejet I never asked,we just went our separate ways and still chatted anytime we seen each other.Whats the best way on contacting her now if she isn't replying to my texts,I don't want to pressure her or wreck her head?

Moon Indigo

If you going to see her out and about then maybe at the right time you could start casually talking then make your self clear to her.
It may not be the best way but if a few days have passed you could try another light text. Nothing too heavy just a how are you kind of text.

I think maybe you may have to come to terms that she isn't ready for you and her right now. She may be a bit afraid/cautious about texting as she made her feelings clear. Overall I would leave it a bit then try texting again. Even if it is only friends you never know what could happen with time but pressuring her or annoying her won't help anything.

_mocha_

I would give her time and space.

Cousins dating each other is still a socially taboo issue. I'm not surprised that she feels uncomfortable under the scrutiny.

Yet, as she still has feelings for you, just give her time and space to consider the situation. Obviously you can't force her into a relationship, and I think you've made your feelings pretty clear to her; its now up to her to tell you how she feels.

Give her time. If she's open to it, go for it, but if she's not, I wouldn't force the issue, as crazy about her as you are. A lot of pressure comes from a relationship like that. People are judgemental.

But if you both had such a good time in the relationship, I wouldn't be surprised that ye'd get together in a few years time. Just give it time.:-)

Moomoo1

I don't think second cousin is a very close relation to be honest - many people don't even know who their second cousins are.

I suppose you should try to get back together with that person, but also consider the fact that she broke up with you without telling you the reason (=lied to you), now she says that she only did it because you were feeling bad about the jokes (I simply do not buy this) and she didn't think your relationship was worth having to face a few unkind remarks. Frankly, I'd want a bit more honesty and commitment from a partner than that.

So if doesn't work out I wouldn't shed too many tears tbh.

I am a friend

Oh I dunno... I think Its a bit icky.

Have you looked into the genetic implications if the two of ye have a child... It's worth checking Out.

I think there are enough people out there without having to dip into your own gene pool - sorry...