Constantly having no money

LegacyUser

Going unregistered for this as I am a little bit embarrassed, although being poor is nothing to be embarrassed about. Funny how the celtic tiger has changed attitudes eh?

Ok well before I begin I have to acknowledge that my problem is probably not as bad as other people's, and I suppose in some regards I am lucky, it's just I feel unlucky in that I am constantly broke. Let me say that this isn't a thread along the lines of "Oh once I put the petrol in the car and pay my mortgage I only have enough money for 1 night out a week." It's not like that at all. I would just like to get some feedback from others who may have been in this position, what did you feel like? how long you were broke for? How it changed you as a person? And of course any potential advice is welcome, although I'm probably aware of every cost cutting measure at this stage.

Basically, I'm 25, male, living abroad at the moment, still in EU. I've been absolutely busting my balls for the last 8 years or so either between studying for leaving cert because I really wanted to get into a certain college course, studying in college, working part time in college and full time at other times, and I have pretty much nothing to show for it. When I was 18, one of my ambitions was to have my own car by the age of 25, not a brand new expensive car but just something. The prospect of owning a car now (even a 10 yr old fiesta) is so far away it's ludicrous.

The injustice of it all is that I have friends who didn't work as hard as me over the years but they have plenty of money, some are travelling the world on savings, others living the high life and taking holidays anytime they want. I suppose I can point to a no. of reasons for this disparity. Some of my friends stayed at home when they went to college, whereas I went to another city and didn't receive much financial support from the parents, I got a bit but not a whole lot. Other friends were lucky to get a good job after college and are now earning nicely.

I went to college and had to work part time to pay for it, then worked full time every summer. My parents charged me rent when I was at home during 3rd year of university when I was making a good wage, and they also charged me when I finished college and was on the dole. I took out a loan to pay for professional exams and a preparatory course for it. I then decided to go for a Masters degree and had to take out a loan for this also. When I came home again after this my parents charged me rent even though I was making minimum wage. All of this being charged rent at home and paying for college meant that it was impossible for me to make any savings of my own.

So just under a year ago, I came over here to do an internship with a pretty good institution (looks very good on CV at least). I came over with 300 euro and an overdraft, if it wasn't for the overdraft I literally would not have been able to come over and afford accommodation. As an intern, I was only making 300 euro a week. Rent and everything else over here is a bit more expensive than home. I managed to get my bank balance up to zero after a few months (as in I had no money but at least I wasn't overdrawn) but all my money was then spent on flying home for interviews, all of which turned me down. I then managed to get my bank balance back up to zero but when my internship ended I had a 2 month period before I started this job in which time I had literally no income, so I had to use every last cent of my overdraft, and also had to borrow money off people at times, all of which I paid back.

I work for a pretty good organisation but it's only an entry level job (making just over minimum wage), I'm just hoping that when my contract comes to an end they will offer me a better package (seems positive so far, boss seems to like me here). I recently moved into new accommodation over here and I had to pay a large deposit which is the norm. So that means I'm pretty much overdrawn to the last again. If it wasn't for my overdraft now, I would have no choice but to fly home and live with parents while going on the dole.

Literally all my money goes on rent (the rent I'm paying is a little bit on the cheap side for this city), food, loan repayments and other living expenses. I spend very little on leisure, I do go out from time to time but usually to house parties. I feel socialising is important, I don't want to go insane from isolation so I drink maybe once every 2/3 weeks on average. I'll buy the cheapest beer in the supermarket (40 cent a can) which is surprisingly not bad and drink them before/if we go to a club. Generally on nights out I try not to spend anything more than 15 euro.

Concrete examples of how broke I am, I could really do with some new clothes, I bought a pair of trousers for work in the sales for 15 euro and apart from that I haven't bought clothes in about 2 years. I only have maybe 2 pairs of jeans left that do not have large noticeable holes in the crotch/arse area. I could also do with a new pair of runners but simply can't afford these.

For the month of August, after I paid rent, I had about 50 euro in cash and maybe 120 euro in food vouchers (benefit in kind from work) which can be used in supermarkets. My girlfriend was extremely generous during this time and paid for a weekend away, and cooked for me very often. She is extremely generous and selfless.

I'm pretty good with shopping on a budget and going to aldi/lidl, looking out for special offers in other supermarkets etc. I must add that I have an absolutely ferocious appetite. I even found myself contemplating stealing razor blades and maybe aftershave cream from the supermarket as they are expensive. This is completely out of character for me as I am not a thief. I just changed to the cheap own brand disposable razors rather than Gilette and was actually surprisingly happy with the result.

My main hobby is going to the gym which I can't afford at the moment. I usually pay the gym membership monthly (works out same price as paying in 1 go annually) rather than paying in block because I usually just don't have the money to pay for numerous months at a time. The staff there are sound and I know them at this stage.

I just can't believe that life is still like this at the age of 25, I thought things would be so different considering the course I was doing, the academic and work ability I have shown and still have. It angers me to see other people my age driving around in brand new cars, going on holidays and off to music festivals whenever they fancy, whereas I am standing at the bus stop in the rain.

I suppose I could ask my parents for money and I have done in the past to afford rent when I had a temporary cash flow problem. The thing is however that my parents are absolutely appalling when it comes to managing money. When I was paying rent they were spending upwards of 20 euro a week on the lottery, refusing to shop in aldi/lidl, and spending more than avergage amounts on alcohol. All this time money was not overly tight but certainly not plentiful. I hate asking them for money however.

I'm not feeling overly sorry for myself, just wondering has anyone else been in a similar situation. I will be like this for the next few months at least, after that I don't know whether my contract will be renewed, improved, or what will happen. I appreciate that there are some positives from living like this, I genuinely appreciate the value of money now and will be very grateful for any luxuries that I have in the future.

Woh, what's long! So people, share your thoughts please.

LegacyUser

Fair play to you for typing all that out! I know a lot of people would think at least you can afford housing/food etc. and to a certain extent they're right, things could be a whole lot worse as you said yourself. However that doesn't negate the fact that this isn't exactly what you had planned for yourself and that sounds as much of an issue as the actual fact that you're broke.

My own situation is somewhat similar. I gave up a good job to spend years training at college to do something else, only to find the recession killed 'something else' and now I'm almost 30, interning (despite having years of work experience), on the dole, in a mega hole with student loans and living with my parents . Believe me when I say this is not what I had planned either and the frustration of having done everything 'right' and still being at the bottom of the barrel financially (something which the people with mortgages etc. will also relate to) would quite literally squash me if I let it. You haven't had things as easy as some (paying rent at home etc.) but those things are done and can't be changed. As for friends from college who landed on their feet with the high flying jobs I think we may move in the same circles on that!

The reality is that things suck right now for lots and lots of people. How do I get by? Well in my own circumstances I try and look on it as somewhat character building. Cliched maybe but whatever gets me through. Sure I'd like more money, but I can survive on what I have. I've been this way for well over 12 months and at times it does wear me down. I try and think positively ahead, that things will get better, but the time passes and so far they haven't. Planning ahead is almost impossible because there aren't clear paths to things anymore (as you'll know from doing your degree/masters and professional exams - they don't equal a decent job anymore!).

The most important thing I think is to stop comparing your life to everyone else's. Such comparisons can make the most successful people feel positively inadequate, let alone those of us who aren't quite on the path we hoped we'd be on at this stage of our lives. Think of now as a temporary situation, a stepping stone to something better, and a gigantic life lesson on money management. Don't let your life be a pity party.

McNulty737

You sound like a hard working, motivated individual - keep at it and you will find yourself an indispensible employee for somebody and the money will come. I was utterly broke up until around 18 months ago (a year after starting a good job), due to paying off debt. Almost 28 now and the money is finally flowing - keep a positive attitude and you will be successful, 25 is still really young.

tenchi-fan

That's what living under a FF/FG government does to a man.

The entire "system" (tax, health care, employment law) is stacked in a certain way to leave everyone with the bare minimum. Unless you've already feathered your nest, are on an "old contract", live or commute to a finance job with a multinational in Dublin, are one of the "new Irish" or are the head of a one-parent family (in your council house) you are being royally screwed. You only have to look at people aged 27-35 who bought a house during the boom. Most of them would have a higher net worth if they stayed on the dole since they left college.

Owning a car would also work against you .. even if you're on a half-decent wage the the car itself, VRT, insurance, the insurance levy, fuel, fuel duty, road tolls, NCT, repairs, vat on repairs, parking, vat on parking and motor tax will take literally thousands out of your pocket each year. (Notice how many of those items are indirect taxes).

Your options to improve your situation:
1. Maximise income.
You are clearly underpaid in your entry level job, so make it a full-time effort to continually apply for new jobs even if it means blowing your entire year's annual leave attending interviews.
a. Try to get someone to polish your cv to make it as attractive as possible to a future employer
b. Network. Seek out opportunities to ask family, uncles, cousins and friends to drop your cv with their line manager in the hope of getting out of your entry-level job and on to the next rung of the career ladder.

2. Minimise expenditure.
How much is your rent, exactly? You seem to have skirted around the issue of rent other than to say it's relatively cheap. If you are renting an apartment, consider changing to a house share. If a house-share, try to find a cheaper house share, perhaps one with all utilities included.

3. Look on the bright side
a. It is an entry-level job after all, and that means your current situation is only temporary.
b. You're not in debt.
c. You have a girlfriend, and her financial situation is better
d. You're not unemployed. Good luck finding a job if you are!

Darkginger

Have you considered getting a second, part-time job, perhaps in a bar on weekend evenings? That would give you another opportunity to go out and see people, plus a little extra cash. When I was your age (oo that makes me sound old!) I had three jobs - one (part-time, mornings) with very low pay in my chosen career field, for experience - one (part-time, afternoons) on a government scheme which provided basic living expenses - and one in the evenings in a cinema bar to give me a little wriggle room on the finances. 2 years later I'd managed to get a full time, well-paid job which advanced my career (thanks to the experience I gained in the poorly-paid job), and after that I was on the road to home ownership and financial stability.

It can be soul-destroying when everyone around you appears to have a better standard of living, but remember, you haven't seen their bank accounts, and have no way of knowing how much debt they're in. The budgeting skills you've acquired will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life - although I know how hard it can seem when you're staring at a load of month left after the end of the money! Wishing you all the best for the future - you sound like someone who is going somewhere

Jaysus, OP, I could have written this myself, down to the internship and all. I know you don't want to sound like a whiner when there are people starving and families who are homeless, but to be honest, it is pretty fecking sh1te to work so hard and get so little in return. I too supported myself through college, did very well, got a prestigious scholarship for a postgrad and have lots of good work experience/references and I am also unable to afford anything more than the basics. I can't afford driving lessons, let alone a car and the idea of a holiday is a joke to me right now. I work 40+ hours a week in a day job and do some freelance work on the side and I still have to take my lunch to work every day and shop in Aldi. I wouldn't mind economising and being sensible if it meant I could, say, go to New York for Christmas, but like you, this is just to get by.

It is soul destroying to see people who have never worked a day in their lives spending money on clothes and holidays. It is irritating to see other people who are 22-26 still getting money from their parents and spending their spare cash on 'fun' stuff. I know I'm luckier than a lot of people, but still, I also think 'I worked so hard all those years for this?' I was never a princessy sort of girl who expected a wardrobe full of Jimmy Choos and four holidays a year, or even to rent my own flat by myself, but for God's sake, I thought I'd be able to do a lot more than this. I'm single, childless, don't have a mortgage, I'm as financially unburdened as I'm ever going to be and still I'm broke?

Sorry I don't have much advice, but just to let you know you're not alone and you shouldn't feel bad for being a bit cheesed off.

nagolina

It's crap when you are breaking your ass and still broke.

I'm skint just now too, and I have realised that one of the weirdest things about not having much disposable income is that there is very little "stuff" to hide behind - money buys distractions and when you don't have a lot of spare cash then life can feel pretty basic! I sometimes feel quite "exposed" for want of a better word, when I feel like the only person wearing tatty clothes and not being able to afford a night out or whatever.

I quite like having to be resourceful, I hope it means if my circumstances change some day then I'll appreciate it all the more for having had this tough time in my life.

This won't last forever - you're really young yet and just starting out on the career ladder...things will get better.

As an aside, is there anything you can do to restructure the loan payments to give yourself a wee bit of breathing space?

Keep plodding on, and remind yourself that all that hard work will pay off evenually

kaki

I'm in a similiar position OP - I'm 21 and am living abroad (Milan to be exact) and am working during the day to put myself through my degree at night (with the Open University). It's been over a year now that I've been working my arse off yet not really been able to be sure how I will make ends meet each month.

I agree with some of the other posters; the crappiest feeling is having completed a long month working one's butt off with little to show for it. E.g. this month I have been working full time in a language school i.e. 40 hours per week, as well as teaching about 10-15 hours of English on the side per week. I am wrecked, stressed, and what do I have to show for it? By the time I've paid my share towards the rent, bills and food as well as my university fees (about €200 per month) there's still practically nothing left... clothes? Massage? Holiday? Even a trip back home to Cork? Hahahaha...

It's funny, I was discussing with my boyfriend the phenomenon of "wellness". That stressful lifestyles and jobs leave some people with lots of money and a built up level of stress, who are easy prey for companies who run hotels, spas, restaurants etc... the idea of selling/buying wellbeing upsets me a bit, especially because perhaps those who need it most can't afford it. That's a discussion for another thread though.

I feel your pain with clothes as well... I'm still using holey socks and underwear I originally brought over from Cork over 3 years ago... my mother bought me some clothes when I was in Ireland over the summer but I haven't both something for myself in a long time.

If I could offer you any tips it would be to rest, get plenty of sleep, specifically look for free/cheap things that might be going in your city (Coupon websites like Groupon/Groupalia are great) and to take it easy. I don't think economic hardship necessarily breeds mental illnesses but I had a depressive episode last year, I only really turned the corner on it this Spring. It's difficult, so be good to yourself. And keep telling yourself it won't last forever - because it won't. This work experience you're doing now will lead you to greater things, I'm sure.

PM is open if you need a chat!

foxyboxer

Have a read off The Richest Man in Babylon.
Basic tenet is that you save 10% whenever you earn money.
You don't spend it ever, so in essence you will always HAVE money.

Distorted

In many ways, your situation typifies the situation now whereby talent and hard work don't always get you as far as someone who by, chance of birth, inherits money or is given money by their parents. Your example of buying the 15 Euro trousers in the sale being the only clothes you've bought in 2 years was sad. And if you think your situation is bad, think about people in their forties with kids, who struggle to get by from month to month.

You can only control what you can do though, not others. (although I think your parents were a tad mean in charging you rent while a student).

That said, you are only 25 and have only been in proper paid employment for a year. And you say you have been busting your balls for the past 8 years, but most of that has been as a student (I appreciate you worked during that time). Thats what you do when you're a student and starting your first job. Its a competitive world, and theres no easy jobs for life really any more, where you can just walk in, be assured of a good income and coast along. Even 10 years ago when I qualified in my field it was like that - 5 years at uni after getting top marks at school, 2 year traineeship where you worked all hours and got treated like rubbish, for a salary of £12,500 in the first year and £14,000 in the second, and then eventually onto first job where working all hours were common, as well as pretty much a 6 day week.

I think people in the past couple of generations actually had it much easier!