Should He Have Asked Me To Go With Him?

LegacyUser

So my ex and i broke up two years ago and we were going out 3 years. We’ve seen each other on and off over the 2 years though and a couple of times almost gotten back together but I just didn’t feel right about it (he left me so I’m beyond cautious for obvious reasons).

Anyway we’re seeing each other again now and I don’t have my hopes built up, nothing like that, still pretty guarded but he says things are different this time and I think he wants to make it work. So hes going to Electric Picnic this w-end and we’ve only been seeing each other this time round for about a month but I kinda thought he would have asked me if ‘things were different now’ and if he wants to be with me. Hes going in a camper van with about 8 mates (male and female, some couples) and there would’ve been room and all that. He said that he didn’t think of asking me cos we’re only seeing each other about a month (!!) and i said yes on and off for 2 years and together for 3 !!!!! Far from only a month.

So i need to know, am I over reacting by thinking he could have asked me or is it no big deal at all? I’m sick of the messing around with him and I’m wondering if he could be bothered at all. Hes gonna ring me over the w-end when hes there.

John Mason

So i need to know, am I over reacting by thinking he could have asked me or is it no big deal at all?

no big deal at all.

if you had just started to see a stranger and were with him for a month, would you expect him to ask you to go the EP with his friends.

no you wouldnt - why should this be any different. he arranged it before you two got together.

if you want this to work, you need to forget the past and moved on

musicinyou

irishbird wrote: »

no big deal at all.

if you had just started to see a stranger and were with him for a month, would you expect him to ask you to go the EP with his friends.

no you wouldnt - why should this be any different. he arranged it before you two got together.

if you want this to work, you need to forget the past and moved on

why not ask would he mind if you went along im sure he would have been cool about it!? its still not too late, tickets are available! your not in you cant win! get on it instead being in a pisser all weekend, unless and i say this lightly, he could be doing some dr*gs!! its a big hit with festivals and he may not wanna do them around you??

musicinyou

didnt mean to qoute your post irish bird, my bad!

ElleEm

I would just let it go, TBH.
It is early days in your NEW relationship, and he would probably have to be on his best behaviour and mind you when he's there.

Little Miss Lady

Yeah just let it go
Plan something fun to do with your own mates
It's not really a big deal

LegacyUser

ok i'm glad you guys said that.

doing drugs defo wouldn't be an issue musicinyou. we've dabbled together before so thats all good with us.

I have a couple of good nights out to look forward to myself now so I'll be kept busy anyway!!

Beruthiel

I'm pretty sure he arranged this weekend long before he got back with you.

I don't understand why you were waiting for him to ask. Why didn't you just tell him you would like to go with him?

Daisy M

I am not sure about this one. If the one of the reasons behind your initial breakup was him not including you in his life and making time to be with you then I think you have reason to be concerned. His excuse as to you only been together for a month is weak, as it sound as if ye havent really been apart for any signifigant amount of time. Maybe he feels that bringing you on this trip would be as good as announcing publicly that ye are back together for good, and he doesnt want to do that as he still isnt sure.
How well do you get on with the rest of the group? Is it a case that you dont know the others and he would have to be 'minding' you all weekend? I think you should proceed carefully and unless your sure he is committed to you 100% then dont get serious, you dont want to waste another 5yrs on a relationship that will never develop into what you want.

Lon Dubh

irishbird wrote: »

no big deal at all.

if you had just started to see a stranger and were with him for a month, would you expect him to ask you to go the EP with his friends.

no you wouldnt - why should this be any different. he arranged it before you two got together.

if you want this to work, you need to forget the past and moved on

I think there is a huge difference myself. If I was going out with someone new only a month I would still be very much at the getting to know them stage, so I would not necessarily feel comfortable inviting them to something like this with friends (in case they didn't get along, in case they turned out to be a psycho/annoying and so on).

But in this case they already know one another. In some ways this "new" relationship is a continuation of the old one (presumably she knows some of his friends already for example), even if the relationship has changed somewhat.

He is supposed to be really into her (has persuaded her to get back together), yet he doesn't want to bring her on a weekend which might be great fun?


I am inclined to agree with Is mise astra.

And not to make you worried about nothing, but is there a chance he wants to sleep with other people on this weekend so that this is why he is leaving you behind?

I am all for people having a lot of their own space and activities in a relationship, but this strikes me as a bit off. There might be nothing worrying in it at all though. If I was in a relationship I would do things on my own as well, but I don't know, it just seems a bit odd to me to leave the OP behind for something fun like this that he and his friends will share and be talking about afterwards and she will be sitting there odd one out.

LegacyUser

Lon Dubh wrote: »

He is supposed to be really into her (has persuaded her to get back together), yet he doesn't want to bring her on a weekend which might be great fun?


I am inclined to agree with Is mise astra.

And not to make you worried about nothing, but is there a chance he wants to sleep with other people on this weekend so that this is why he is leaving you behind?

I am all for people having a lot of their own space and activities in a relationship, but this strikes me as a bit off. There might be nothing worrying in it at all though. If I was in a relationship I would do things on my own as well, but I don't know, it just seems a bit odd to me to leave the OP behind for something fun like this that he and his friends will share and be talking about afterwards and she will be sitting there odd one out.

This is exactly how I felt when I posted here. Surely if he was really into me then he'd be dying to have me go with him. He defo wouldn't be sleeping with anyone. I'm not fooling myself or anything like that but he wouldn't be that kind of guy.

He did text me everyday that he was down there. He tried to ring but I missed his call. Is all that texting even a good sign? It just would have been nice to see him wanting me to go esp for something that was for 3 full days.

You're right Lon Dubh...I do think its a bit off.