Television favorite quote

bpb101

just thinking that a thread of fav. quote from tv shows would be good
please enter the quote in quote marks and name the show....

ill start

"Gravity , thou art a heartless bit*h" The big bang theory

Skerries

are you out of your Vulcan mind!

The King of Moo

A few from my favourite programme, Battlestar Galactica. The second two might be mildly spoilery but probably won't make sense if you haven't seen the programme.


Bill Adama, straying from his prepared remarks in his speech at the decommissioning ceremony for the Galactica in the pilot:

"Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed, spite, jealousy. And we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything that we've done. Like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. When that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn't our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore."


Laura Roslin:

"No. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me? I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! I swear it! I'm coming for all of you!"


The Great Saul Tigh:

"My name is Saul Tigh. I'm an officer in the Colonial Fleet. Whatever else I am, whatever else it means, that's the man I want to be. And if I die today, that's the man I'll be."


And I'll leave the last word to Walt from Breaking Bad. Sometimes keeping it simple does the trick, and delivery is everything:

"Stay out of my territory!"

willonzo

"You might very well say that, but I couldn't possibly comment." - House of Cards

krudler

"Winter is coming"

Dman001

"Each one of us was brought here for a reason"-John Locke, Lost

"Save the Cheerleader, save the world"-Hiro,Heroes

Dennis the Stone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAlBvxjApf4

Keedowah

The great Zapp Brannigan (Futurama):

"If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards...Checkmate."

The King of Moo

Some more great Futurama ones:

Fry: "Full price for gum? That dog won't hunt monseigneur!"

Leela: I'm supposed to meet my parents at ten!
Bender: Nine...ten...a big fat hen. The name's Bender."

Bender: "I came here with the simple dream... a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real 700 billion ton monster here? Not I... Not I..."

Zapp: "Don't be such a a chicken, Kif! Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball."

BlaasForRafa

I love it when a plan comes together!

Sarah?

"A little misunderstanding?! Galileo and the pope had a little misunderstanding!"

Sheldon - The Big Bang Theory

im invisible

Lisa needs braces...

krudler

"A trick is what a whore does for money Michael, I perform illusions"

brian_t

bpb101 wrote: »

please enter the quote and name the show....

.

Also Starring LeVar Burton

"Pop! Pop!" - Magnitude in Community

Also Starring LeVar Burton

"That dude was hard core racist. Like 1800's Disney style." - Troy in Community

don ramo

"ah amnesia the free prize at the end of every bottle (of tequila)" sheldon cooper:D

"guys, i know kung fu" chuck bartowski via the matrix

chandler "twins"
monica "are you freaking out"
chandler "join me wont you"

"happy slapsgiving" marshall ericksen

"get it done llyod or im gonna choke you out with a strap-on" ari gold threatening llyod to get something done

"sookie" bill compton

"tonights the night" dexter morgan

Skerries

don ramo wrote: »

"sookie" bill compton

and it has to be said in a growly Southern accent

Auvers

Baldrick: I have a cunning plan

Blackadder: Is it as cunning as a fox that has just been made professor of cunning at Oxford university?

Beave

"For me, socks are like sex, tonnes of it about, but I never seem to get any!"

One of a million classic lines from the great Blackadder. This was delivered by the Prince Regent in Blackadder the Third.

MayoForSam

See my sig.

Penn

A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It's the sh*t that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come. - Lester Freamon (The Wire)

heebusjeebus

"I just blue myself" - Tobias Funke (Arrested Development)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BznwsT6r_tM

thegoodgirl

Another Big Bang, funniest show on tv

Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.

D1976

im invisible wrote: »

Lisa needs braces...

DENTAL PLAN

Sarah?

Sheldon :pac:

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

The Big Bang Theory

bpb101

THE BIG bang theroy
Penny: oh no you cant sit there that Shelden spot
Bernadette can't he sit somewhere else
Penny oh ,no you see In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as the television looks distorted
Shelden i was wrong there may be hope for her after all

bpb101

Bazinga!


the big bang theroy

maudgonner

The Thick of it rules! (mainly for its creative use of cursing)

Malcolm Tucker: He's as useless as a marzipan dildo.

Malcolm: Stats, percentages, international comparisons, information. E-mail them fúcking wads of information. And tell them to get their heads around it before they put pen to paper, or I'll be up their arses like a fúcking Biafran ferret, right? Come on, unleash hell!

Jamie: Have you seen the Whip's numbers?
Malcolm: NOMFuP.
Jamie: What?
Malcolm: NOMFuP. N-O-M-F-P. Not My Fúcking Problem. I quite like that. Did you like that? I'll use that quite a lot today.

Malcolm: Come the fúck in or fúck the fúck off.
Hugh: Well I'll come the fúck in then.

Sarah?

Father Ted

Tape dispenser: "You have used two inches of sticky tape. God bless you."

Jack: "Nuns - REVERSE!!" :eek:

Ted: "There's a 'G' in Dougal...." Dougal: "...Where??"

*Gunshot* *Tom returns to the car* ...Tom: "'Twas my money father, I just didn't want to fill out d'forms."

The Black Oil

Wu!
Swedgin!

:pac:

Yakuza

The Black Oil wrote: »

Wu!
Swedgin!

:pac:

Cock-sucka!

Jayne from Firefly has some of my favourite quotes ever:
"Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."
"I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid."

tvnutz

"You come at the king,you best not miss"-Omar Little. The Wire.

AnamGlas

"BUS ****" - the charming Jay, Inbetweeners.

Jesus Wept

orrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: Tony, if you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Hey, You want that, it's a phone call away.

The King of Moo

tvnutz wrote: »

"You come at the king,you best not miss"-Omar Little. The Wire.

Damn straight .

This thread needs more Kenny Powers. I'll only post one quote as I'd end up posting all of his dialogue if I don't limit myself.

Kid in Gym Class: My dad said you ruined baseball.
Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not going to like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. If anybody wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, cause I ain’t watching.

Kenny Powers: Eastbound and Down.

RolandIRL

Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: Ah she's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro

Prof. Farnsworth (referring to Doomsday device): I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.

True Blood

Pam: Blah blah vampire emergency blah...

newbie2

(Petting Jeff's german shepherd:)
"Its nice to be affectionate to something german. You don't get the oppurtunity that often." CURB

"Fcuk me like you fcuked my country" CURB

dagdha

The IT Crowd

Jen: Mr Reynholm, I don't need to remind you of the report that denounced Reynholm Industries as an institutionally sexist organisation.

Douglas Reynholm: Now you hold on a minute sugar tits

RobertFoster

"Got your back, Jack. Bitches be crazy." - Sheldon (quoting someone else), The Big Bang Theory

"Every step a ****in' adventure." - Al Swearengen (watching Jewel climbing the stairs in the Gem), Deadwood.

Kiith

Some possible spoilers below...

Dennis - Always Sunny in Sunny in Philadelphia wrote:

I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care.

Jack - Lost wrote:

You're not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face, but you're nothing like him. Turns out he was right about most everything. Just wish I could have told him that while he was still alive.

Jack - 24 wrote:

I'm federal agent Jack Bauer. This is the longest day of my life."

Sookie / Erik - True Blood wrote:

Sookie: He's your maker isn't he?
Eric: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Don't use words I don't understand.

The King of Moo wrote: »

The Great Saul Tigh:

"My name is Saul Tigh. I'm an officer in the Colonial Fleet. Whatever else I am, whatever else it means, that's the man I want to be. And if I die today, that's the man I'll be."

Loved that quote. Tigh is a legend.

Speaking of Battlestar...Lee's defense of Baltar was excellent.

Lee Adama wrote:

What would you have done? If he had refused to surrender, the Cylons would have probably nuked the planet right then and there. So did he appear to cooperate with the Cylons? Sure. So did hundreds of others. What's the difference between him and them? The President issued a blanket pardon. They were all forgiven, no questions asked. Colonel Tigh. Colonel Tigh used suicide bombers, killed dozens of people. Forgiven. Lieutenant Agathon and Chief Tyrol. They murdered an officer on the Pegasus. Forgiven. The Admiral. The Admiral instigated a military coup d'état against the President. Forgiven. And me? Well, where do I begin? I shot down a civilian passenger ship, the Olympic Carrier. Over a thousand people on board. Forgiven. I raised my weapon to a superior officer, committed an act of mutiny. Forgiven. And then on the very day when Baltar surrendered to those Cylons, I as commander of Pegasus jumped away. I left everybody on that planet, alone, undefended, for months. I even tried to persuade the Admiral never to return, to abandon you all there for good. If I'd had my way nobody would have made it off that planet. I'm the coward. I'm the traitor. I'm forgiven. I'd say we are very forgiving of mistakes. We make our own laws now; our own justice. And we've been pretty creative in finding ways to let people off the hook for everything from theft to murder. And we've had to be, because... because we're not a civilization anymore. We are a gang, and we are on the run, and we have to fight to survive. We have to break rules. We have to bend laws. We have to improvise. But not this time, no. Not this time. Not for Gaius Baltar. No, you... you have to die, because, well, because we don't like you very much. Because you're arrogant. Because you're weak. Because you're a coward, and we, the mob, want to throw you out of the airlock, because you didn't stand up to the Cylons and get yourself killed in the process. That's justice now. You should have been killed back on New Caprica, but since you had the temerity to live, we're going to execute you now. That's justice. This case... this case is built on emotion, on anger, bitterness, vengeance. But most of all, it is built on shame. It's about the shame of what we did to ourselves back on that planet. It's about the guilt of those of us who ran away. Who ran away. And we're trying to dump all that guilt and all that shame on one man and then flush him out the airlock, and hope that just gets rid of it all. So that we could live with ourselves. But that won't work. That won't work. That's not justice; not to me. Not to me.

Da Shins Kelly

"We don't need a criminal lawyer, we need a criminal lawyer." - Jesse giving Walt some advice in Breaking Bad

"You're not going to believe this. The guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians. He was an interior decorator." - Paulie's misunderstanding in The Sopranos

"There's an old Italian saying: 'You **** up once, you lose two teeth'." - Tony in The Sopranos

Mindkiller

"You had me at 'Meat Tornado'."

Ron Mother****ing Swanson

Dr.Reid

"I've taken Maris to hundreds of these events and she has not once wanted to dance. Of course, Maris hates public displays of rhythm" - Niles Crane, Frasier

bpb101

RobertFoster wrote: »

"Got your back, Jack. Bitches be crazy." - Sheldon (quoting someone else), The Big Bang Theory

the mail man if i do so to believe...

tony1kenobi

"Psychiatry and cunnilingus brought us to this" - Tony Soprano.

salutations

From the Inbetweeners when the boys are driving around in their yellow ****box and suddenly decide to start following some random car full of women thinking they are going to pull them.Will isnt too happy and complains about it, to which Jay responds......

Jay " They love it, you tool. It's called flirting."
Will "Yeah, a terrifying and unsolicited form of flirting"

grohlisagod

"She was like a candle in the wind (in tone of loving reminiscence). Unreliable." - Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

The Sopranos (It's a full scene really) [They're playing golf]
Tony - "Uncle Jun's into the muff. Oh, did I say muff, I meant rough."
. . .
"What's that smell? Did you guys go to a sushi bar?"
. . .
"I thought you were a Baccalla man Uncle Jun.
What you doing eating sushi?"
. . .
[Sings] "South of the border where the tuna fish play"

amacachi

From IASIP, probably better to see it though!


Dennis: The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can't refuse...because of the implication.
Mac: Okay you had me goin' there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.
Dennis: Well dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. "Ah there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?"
Mac: Okay. That seems really dark.
Dennis: It's not dark, you're misunderstanding me, bro.
Mac: I think I am.
Dennis: Yeah, you are. Because if the girl said 'no', then the answer is obviously 'no'. But the thing is she is not gonna say no. She would never say 'no', because of the implication.
Mac: Ok, now that's the second time you've said that word, what implication?
Dennis: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinking that they will.
Mac: ... But it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you..
Dennis: Why aren't you understanding this?