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Deciding on a third baby - advice needed!

  • 30-08-2011 10:39am
    #1
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭


    Hi guys, just wondered for those of you who have 3 kids already or are currently on your third pregnancy, how did you make the decision to go for no 3?

    I had fairly straightforward pregnancy with my first son, but he was a difficult baby (very colicky, silent reflux, poor sleeper etc.). With my second son I had a terrible pregnancy with exhaustion, dehydration and low bp due to hyperemesis, excruciating SPD and every other symptom you can think of! But he has been a dream of a baby and very settled now.

    After my last pregnancy I said to myself that's it no more! But my husband told me last night he really wants to go again in the next 6 months. I knew that he wanted more children but this is the first time we've really properly discussed it and he is so keen. He'd love to go again now if he could.

    It's a bad time for me as I've just lost all my baby weight from my sons and feeling good at the minute. I'm starting up my own business and that takes up so much of my time right now. I'm also petrified that the pregnancy will be even more difficult than last time, or that we mightn't be so lucky again and the next baby could be colicky and unsettled like my first son was for so long.

    But then, none of these things are going to go away by waiting, so if we are going to have a third, why not do it now?

    I'm meant to be working now but find myself thinking of being pregnant again, and baby names, and all sorts! So does that mean I am ready for another???

    Then there is the practicalities and expense, we have a large house so that isn't an issue, but what about cars? Will we need to get 7 seater if we have 3 car seats? And childcare?

    Sorry such a long rant, but those of you that have been there, would really appreciate your advice!

    Thanks xo


Comments

  • #2
    scholar007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 902 ✭✭✭scholar007


    What is DS1 and DS2 and hyperemesis and SPD?
    Who is DH? :confused:


  • #3
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    scholar007 wrote: »
    What is DS1 and DS2 and hyperemesis and SPD?
    Who is DH? :confused:

    If you've a problem with a post, report it please. SPD and hyperemesis are pregnancy related illnesses/complaints.

    I've fixed the abbreviations. rosie_mama, it's important to note that DS/DD etc are considered text speak and not used on this forum. Please read the charter.

    January.


  • #4
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    January wrote: »
    If you've a problem with a post, report it please. SPD and hyperemesis are pregnancy related illnesses/complaints.

    I've fixed the abbreviations. rosie_mama, it's important to note that DS/DD etc are considered text speak and not used on this forum. Please read the charter.

    January.

    thanks! sorry i didn't realise :o


  • #5
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,163 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Op
    Can I suggest you read your post as a stranger reading it. You have given all the reasons not to have another baby and none to having another one except that your husband 'wants to go again' - hes not 'going again' you are!

    What advice would you offer the OP if it wasnt you?


  • #6
    tfitzgerald
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    :)if expense is not a problem then i would say go for it i have three girls the youngest is six the oldest is sixteen and i have to say the smiles they bring to my face everyday outweigh any other considerations


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  • #7
    scholar007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 902 ✭✭✭scholar007


    We could start a poll on it but then you might base your decision on that and when / if little Johnny or Mary asks you in years to come, why you had them or you wonder why you didn't, - Ahh maybe not a good idea!


  • #8
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    scholar007 wrote: »
    We could start a poll on it but then you might base your decision on that and when / if little Johnny or Mary asks you in years to come, why you had them or you wonder why you didn't, - Ahh maybe not a good idea!

    Stop the un helpful posting, if you've nothing helpful to add to the discussion then don't add anything at all.


  • #9
    BostonB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,056 ✭✭✭✭BostonB


    rosie_mama wrote: »
    ....After my last pregnancy I said to myself that's it no more! ...

    I think you'd have to ask yourself why you thought like this. Our third was vastly easier then the previous ones. But that doesn't mean yours will be. Its a lottery. But I wouldn't wait thinking things will get better. I'd do it sooner rather than later.


  • #10
    Mr Bloat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭Mr Bloat


    We had our third almost two years ago now and while I was doubtful at the time of conception, the third slotted in to our unit so well, I almost can't imagine a time without her. I don't know if you need a 7 seater car, it depends on what stage your other kids are with car seats. I drive a Mondeo and my wife has a Avensis. The two older kids are in boosters and the smallest is in a forward facing child seat. It's a squeeze to fit the three seats in the back but it's doable and the kids are comfortable once the seats are in.
    Three kids are a lot of work but it's well worth the effort, imo.


  • #11
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    BostonB wrote: »
    I think you'd have to ask yourself why you thought like this. Our third was vastly easier then the previous ones. But that doesn't mean yours will be. Its a lottery. But I wouldn't wait thinking things will get better. I'd do it sooner rather than later.

    well the main reason is due to the pregnancy. it really was awful. so i'm worried that a third pregnancy would be just as bad or worse and don't now how i would cope with that.


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  • #12
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    rosie_mama wrote: »
    well the main reason is due to the pregnancy. it really was awful. so i'm worried that a third pregnancy would be just as bad or worse and don't now how i would cope with that.

    It really is a lottery, My girlfriend is pregnant with her third and the difference between the two is incredible. Her last pregnancy was filled with kidney infections, SPD and terrible morning sickness all the way through, but this one was fantastic, its only now in the last few weeks that mobility is affected and kicks are getting stronger that she's looking forward to not being pregnant


  • #13
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    Mr Bloat wrote: »
    We had our third almost two years ago now and while I was doubtful at the time of conception, the third slotted in to our unit so well, I almost can't imagine a time without her. I don't know if you need a 7 seater car, it depends on what stage your other kids are with car seats. I drive a Mondeo and my wife has a Avensis. The two older kids are in boosters and the smallest is in a forward facing child seat. It's a squeeze to fit the three seats in the back but it's doable and the kids are comfortable once the seats are in.
    Three kids are a lot of work but it's well worth the effort, imo.

    I have a two year old and an 8 month old currently so if we had another in the next year or two we would probably need three car seats.

    I originally wanted four children so it is just the pregnancy that has put me off having any more I think. But I have no way of knowing how good or bad a third pregnancy might be


  • #14
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    RedXIV wrote: »
    It really is a lottery, My girlfriend is pregnant with her third and the difference between the two is incredible. Her last pregnancy was filled with kidney infections, SPD and terrible morning sickness all the way through, but this one was fantastic, its only now in the last few weeks that mobility is affected and kicks are getting stronger that she's looking forward to not being pregnant

    thanks for this, it is encouraging to hear that a bad second pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean a bad third!

    good luck with the new baby!


  • #15
    ciljoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭ciljoy


    i have to little boys and would go again in the morning what are you waiting for maybe when you try for a 3rd baby you might not get pregnant straight away bet you didnt think of that, your career will always be there.


  • #16
    BostonB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,056 ✭✭✭✭BostonB


    rosie_mama wrote: »
    well the main reason is due to the pregnancy. it really was awful. so i'm worried that a third pregnancy would be just as bad or worse and don't now how i would cope with that.

    Well I think that really for you to decide rather than your partner. He should respect that. For me it would be a valid reason not to have another if my partner couldn't go through the pregnancy again.


  • #17
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    Thank you all for your advice

    (not sure how to 'thank' individual posters like others have done...)


  • #18
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    rosie_mama wrote: »
    Thank you all for your advice

    (not sure how to 'thank' individual posters like others have done...)

    You just click the post_thanks.gif in the bottom right :)


  • #19
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,986 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    I would have a 3rd tomorrow and would be delighted.
    You need to think about it and it sounds more like your husband wants the 3rd but you will be the one that has to deal with it and your toddler and baby.
    If you are not sure wait!
    You will probably need a 7 seater,childcare depends where you are located..
    If your age is not a factor hold off and see how you feel in a years time.


  • #20
    rosie_mama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭rosie_mama


    RedXIV wrote: »
    You just click the post_thanks.gif in the bottom right :)

    i don't see that but might be because i'm a new user and don't have enough posts yet or something.

    but thanks again everyone!


  • #21
    fiona12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 99 ✭✭fiona12


    I wanted only 2 children, but was blessed with 3 and I wouldn't change it for the world!

    Do what you think is right, not your husband, friends, mum, forum members, etc.


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  • #22
    cbyrd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    Had 2. . then a 7 year gap and had another. . unexpectedly expecting our 4th.. each pregnancy was different some easier .. this one is the easiest.. ;) As the saying goes.. having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face.. you need to be very sure (unless you're like me and they're all surprises :pac: )


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