Sabotaging Myself?

LegacyUser

Hi All, I'll try to keep this short :-)

Ive been in and out of relationships since I was in my teens, I have always managed to be hurt in my relationships, looking back I was quite clingy and insecure at times (usually once the 'honeymoon' stage was over) and this would most definately have contributed to my relationship breakdowns and me subsequently getting hurt - usually by being cheated on.

Early this year I was seriously hurt and let down by a guy I was with, having worked through most of my insecurities etc etc I was happy and secure with him (and myself) and he was a real 'sweet talker' however he was also a coward and when he decided he didnt want to be with Me anymore he put me through hell rather than just telling Me, he really messed with my head.

After this I decided it was time for Me to be single, learn how to be single, enjoy Myself and start putting Myself first and I was (and am!) having a ball! I learnt that Im 'ok' being single, that I have an amazing netowrk of friends and Ive been dating, I told Myself I wouldn't get a boyfriend again until I found someone who made me want to be his girlfriend (rather than in the past when I felt i NEEDED a boyfriend - not really caring who it was!)

Soooo...8 months later...I meet a guy that is turning into boyfriend material....and I think Im sabotaging Myself with him...clearly Im petrified of being hurt again :-(
This guy is great, we txt every day, see each other every weekend and we have a great time together..its very early days and being 'exclusive' hasn't been mentioned yet however I have noticed these 'get rid of him before he hurts you' thoughts have started creeping in, I seem to be jumping to conclusions about the most stupid of things assuming he is lying to Me about silly things...and I know really its just stuff from my past - because this isn't a guy Im just seeing, Im starting to see him as someone Id like to be my boyfriend and instantly I start thinking these things. Its not happened with anyone else Ive been dating in the last 8 months.

I guess what Im asking you is how do I learn to relax and accept that in order to really meet someone and potentially have a good relationship I am actually going to have to put myself out there on a different level - as in drop the guard - which to me instantly means - potentially get hurt again???? I dont want to push this guy away, I like him, but I can already see Myself doing it....

LegacyUser

That book sounds great! thanks a million xx

m'lady

That is fantastic advice sunflower, thank you. I will definitely get that book.