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Family stuff

  • 29-08-2011 8:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Apologies for posting anon on this but I think some of my family know my username so trying to 'hide' a little with this one.

    Basically my Mum & Dad live a mile away from my sister and an hours drive from my brother. Me and my other brother both live in England so only get home twice a year.

    The problem is my brother who lives an hour away : even though he gets to see my parents nearly every weekend he still manages to totally take over, and cause arguements when ever the rest of us are home.
    He has an issue in that he feels non of us ever make the effort to visit his home, which is true as no one within the family likes his wife. Though we do visit while we are there he feels that we don't go often enough.

    While we are home he will turn up with his wife and three kids for 2 or 3 days at time. This leaves the house overcrowded with people either sleeping on air beds or having to stay at my sisters house. Both me and my brother who also lives in england feel it isn't fair for us to move out of the home place to stay at my sisters when it is so rare that we get the chance to be home.
    Also, they will never, ever bring so much as loaf of bread into the house - it's too much to expect my parents to fork out to feed everyone so we all tend to help out with the shopping while we are there.

    They totally take over the house when they arrive.... the rest of us try to pull along together and making compromises as so many people in the house they just plough through and take over : their teenage son will lie across the sofa watching the tv and on the internet not letting the younger kids near the tv, has to be told to sit up so adults can get a seat (never dealt with by his parents). The younger kids are allowed to run amok as well, with their cousins not wanting to play with them as they hit, bite etc. I could go on.
    The worst of it is the arguments - screaming rows with each other, door slamming etc. My brother will pick arguments with the rest of us when he's had a drink - real blazers as well, the sort that can rip a family in two.

    It's got to the stage where spend the whole time I'm home dreading their visits.

    The upsetting thing is his life in a really bad place at the moment : he's gone from being someone funny, witty, sharp and intelligent into quite a nasty individual - begrudging and always looking to get one over people. He drinks way too much and has lost contact with most of his friends.
    No idea what to do to help him, or minimise his negative impact on the family - it just can't continue and all of us have said in anger that it may be time to tell him to shape up or ship out. Not what we want at all.

    Sorry for rambling - any advice gratefully recieved


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