Boyfriend looks up ex

kk67

My boyfriend of 5 yrs looks up his ex every so often on facebook when i confronted him the last time he said they had been going out a long time (4 yrs) and he was just curious and it was not like he was trying to contact her they are not friends on it she was his first real relationship and they were broken up about 3 years when we got together should i be worried?

tallaghtmick

kk67 wrote: »

My boyfriend of 5 yrs looks up his ex every so often on facebook when i confronted him the last time he said they had been going out a long time (4 yrs) and he was just curious and it was not like he was trying to contact her they are not friends on it she was his first real relationship and they were broken up about 3 years when we got together should i be worried?

I wouldnt,hes just doing what a lot of people do,checking on a ex to see how well/badly they have done without you.

G-Money

Do you ever look up any of your ex's or anyone you've had/have a crush on?

I wouldn't be too worried OP anyway. Although I'm not sure it was worth "confronting" him about. A lot of people seem to love doing that and it seems awfully aggressive.

kk67

well confronting was the wrong word i walked into the room as he was looking it up the 1st time

G-Money

I wouldn't be too worried anyway OP. I think we all look up ex's from time to time, I know I have. The only exception for me was one who hurt me quite badly and I refuse to look her up even now a few years on. I've been tempted at times but I know that no good can come from it.

I'd leave it unless there are other genuine warning signs that would make you doubt him.

kk67

There aren't this is my 1st serious relationship and men and women think so differently about things

Chinafoot

kk67 wrote: »

There aren't this is my 1st serious relationship and men and women think so differently about things

I don't really see what gender has to do with it to be honest.

I'm a woman, I'm with my boyfriend 6 years and I've looked my ex up on facebook. I've also looked up people I went to school with or knew from my area as a kid. Its curiosity.

The fact that I've looked up my ex doesn't mean I still have feelings for him or miss him or want to leave my boyfriend for him. It means I was curious about this person that I shared a huge part of my life with and facebook provided an easy way for me to see how he's doing now.

If you kicked off at him over it you should apologise. Stop over-thinking things and enjoy your relationship otherwise your insecurities could do some damage.

kk67

I do overthink things i drive myself crazy sometimes but i do feel better about it now thanks

daisyscience

Theres nothing wrong with a bit of curiosity on both your parts so you should ask him if you want to. If I were you id wait for the oportunity to arise and ask him in a non confrontal way, maybe you could tease him about it?

Id see no harm in opening a bit of dialogue about the subject, especially given that ye are involved with each other for so long. Communication is important and if your curious then why not ask?

If you suspect him of something worse than curiosity then maybe you need to ask yourself why.

OkayWhatever

Yeah, I also reckon it's just curiosity and it's nothing really to worry about.

I think everybody gets curious on facebook and social networking sites when they're bored.

If it's worrying you a lot, mention it to him in a casual way. If he has nothing to hide, i'd imagine he won't be defensive and will just talk about it.

Catari Jaguar

After 5 years do you not just think "Meh, whatever. I trust him." It's been FIVE years. We're all prone to smugness/ spite, jealousy, grass is greener feeling when it comes to an ex but obviously he loves you and wants to be with you. You must realise this at this stage.

Penny Dreadful

I was going out with my ex for 10 years. We broke up 2 years ago. I am in a very happy relationship with another guy now, we live together and its all kinds of serious.
I know my ex is a member of this site and the odd time I look him up. Recently I found out that he has a new girlfriend and they're heading off on holidays soon. I was happy for him and am glad he has found someone. I also told my new boyfriend about this and he doesn't think its weird at all. Leave it be and don't freak out about it.

Zen65

kk67 wrote: »

..... should i be worried?

No.

Frankly if he didn't have some level of curiosity about the people with whom he had shared some of his life he'd be a very cold fish of a person. The chances are you would not find such a cold-hearted person to be attractive. Be glad of who he is.

There's no reason for any concern about this, and certainly no reason to "confront" him.


Be at peace,


Z

kk67

Thanks am feeling so much better