Public toilet nightmares

Richard Dower

so i was in Arthurs Quay this morning, badly needed a p!ss...so i pay my 20c and enter the stall, only to be greeted by the most horrific "toilet explosion" i've ever seen!

It was bad, real bad, like the guy blew half of himself into the bowl, rim, seat, and surrounding area....i had this facial reaction --> :eek:

i can't stay here, but then it dawned on me....i'm gonna get blamed for this!
So i stood for like 5 mins tryna decide what to do, waited until everyone had left the toilet area....peeked my head out the stall door, all clear.......

....scarper!, no toilet attandent outsde [sweatin bullet].....phew! , mission Pooh Dawn completed.

nicechick!

Richard Dower wrote: »

so i was in Arthurs Quay this morning, badly needed a p!ss...so i pay my 20c and enter the stall, only to be greeted by the most horrific "toilet explosion" i've ever seen!

It was bad, real bad, like the guy blew half of himself into the bowl, rim, seat, and surrounding area....i had this facial reaction --> :eek:

i can't stay here, but then it dawned on me....i'm gonna get blamed for this!
So i stood for like 5 mins tryna decide what to do, waited until everyone had left the toilet area....peeked my head out the stall door, all clear.......

....scarper!, no toilet attandent outsde [sweatin bullet].....phew! , mission Pooh Dawn completed.

ugh

MugMugs

Would you not have thought of cleaning it up with a good blasting of piss?

Saila

IBTL

Richard Dower

nicechick! wrote: »

ugh

I was relaying a public toilet nightmare in a comedic fashion, whereby others could also share such horrors.

cml387

if you've had a bad day, consider what kind of day the person who had to clean up was going to have.

hondasam

what is the obsession with shi* toilet threads in AH?

Richard Dower

MugMugs wrote: »

Would you not have thought of cleaning it up with a good blasting of piss?

Powerhose more like!

Saila

hondasam wrote: »

what is the obsession with shi* toilet threads in AH?

I think they are flut's sock puppets

MugMugs

Richard Dower wrote: »

MugMugs wrote: »

Would you not have thought of cleaning it up with a good blasting of piss?

Powerhose more like!

Well I don't like to brag!

Richard Dower

hondasam wrote: »

what is the obsession with shi* toilet threads in AH?

Tbf..i rarely post here, so i've no idea if there's been a run on the toilet [pun intended]

Latchy

For crimes against humanity , that toilet sounds like it needs a direct hit from a USAF bomber .

Panty_thief

so someone turbo boosted a king kong-er

sgb

Richard Dower wrote: »

so i was in Arthurs Quay this morning, badly needed a p!ss...so i pay my 20c and enter the stall, only to be greeted by the most horrific "toilet explosion" i've ever seen!

It was bad, real bad, like the guy blew half of himself into the bowl, rim, seat, and surrounding area....i had this facial reaction --> :eek:

i can't stay here, but then it dawned on me....i'm gonna get blamed for this!
So i stood for like 5 mins tryna decide what to do, waited until everyone had left the toilet area....peeked my head out the stall door, all clear.......

....scarper!, no toilet attandent outsde [sweatin bullet].....phew! , mission Pooh Dawn completed.

Could have been worse, George Michael might have come in behind you

FlutterinBantam

Richard Dower wrote: »

so i was in Arthurs Quay this morning, badly needed a p!ss...so i pay my 20c and enter the stall, only to be greeted by the most horrific "toilet explosion" i've ever seen!

It was bad, real bad, like the guy blew half of himself into the bowl, rim, seat, and surrounding area....i had this facial reaction --> :eek:

i can't stay here, but then it dawned on me....i'm gonna get blamed for this!
So i stood for like 5 mins tryna decide what to do, waited until everyone had left the toilet area....peeked my head out the stall door, all clear.......

....scarper!, no toilet attandent outsde [sweatin bullet].....phew! , mission Pooh Dawn completed.

Never apologise for a 'bad dump' laddie, these things happen and best faced with upright demeanour and no skulking around.

Like the Sunday morning I had to visit the pots in the Stephens green centre.

I was baking a good one when to my horror all four stalls occupied and a fcuking queue of two waiting.

The round in the chamber was unstable so no option but to wait.

Stall came free and barely got the skids clear before spraying some lumpy slurry all over the gaff.

Shot out in thick gouts.

Geezer in after me was wearing a Kerry jersey ,so all I could say was "Keep

the ball in the air pal, sod is a little slippery in there"

:mad:

Bipolar Joe

Ugh, don't get me started on A.Q. First time I went in there, someone had actually walked around pissing everywhere. Like, actively. Not just "Whoops, pissed myself." Took me a fair while to brave it again lest I slip in some. Another time I went in and much like yourself, was greeted with sh!t mountain. They don't even have the decency to write graffiti.

MugMugs

sgb wrote: »

Could have been worse, George Michael might have come in behind you

And then he could have come in behind him.

nicechick!

Richard Dower wrote: »

I was relaying a public toilet nightmare in a comedic fashion, whereby others could also share such horrors.

aww I didn't get the humor!

TheZohanS

MugMugs wrote: »

And then he could have come in behind him.

And then he could have come in your behind.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

I was in a public toilet in a shopping centre in London last year and the person in the cubicle next to me literally sounded like they were evacuating all of their internal organs. I've never heard anything like it, 5 whole minutes of the loudest wettest vilest rasping noises. And there I was, washing my hands, when out comes this 4ft scrawny Chinese auld one with a mad smiley head on her nodding away happily and basically looking like the cat who got the cream. Shocked the bejaysus outta me!

Panty_thief

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Like the Sunday morning I had to visit the pots in the Stephens green centre.

They charge 20c for using those jax. Thankfully theyre not charging per kilo. yet.

TheBody

There is some bloke that works in my building who covers the cubicle in the bathroom with toilet paper. Some of it used!! Literally tons of it everywhere. On the seat, floor behind the loo and the bowl itself. He doesn't flush either. Hard to imagine what he is doing to warrent decorating the cubicle like this everyday.

FlutterinBantam

That dude has issues, confidence problems, likes to leave a log like a fcuking bull otter to try to impress people.

Dangerous fcuker, stay away from him is my advice.

Latchy

Like when cats and dogs mark their spot ... Yeah

MugMugs

TheZohan wrote: »

MugMugs wrote: »

And then he could have come in behind him.

And then he could have come in your behind.

Mmmmmmmmmmm tooooooo eeeeeeee ahhhhhhh

FlutterinBantam

Latchy wrote: »

Like when cats and dogs mark their spot ... Yeah

Exactly, the confident cat will leave it's faeces unburied,so the next moggie who happens on the scene will twitch the whiskers, flick the tail sideways, and mutter "Holy fcuk !! the fcuker who dropped that baton round must have legs like a fcuking billiard table:eek: and could be called Sabre"

Best get your furry arse out of here Tiddles.

That's how it works ,I'm told.

Bipolar Joe

Oh, Jesus, how could I forget. Few years ago was taking a FAS course (Yeah yeah yeah...). Went into the toilets and some dirty cunt had smeared **** and toilet paper in one of the cubicles. It takes a special level of bastard to do that. I love Limerick.

mayotom

When I worked in a Galway Nightclub, I was disgusted to find a log in a pint glass, left beside a toilet, in the Ladies..... She must have been in a major hurry

Probably the same girl I found taking a dump on the stairs leading from one of the Emergency exits a few weeks later( she had the cheek to say that she thought the door led to the toilets and that she couldn't wait any longer) I brought her a mop and plenty of paper to clean up, never saw her in the club again

Latchy

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Exactly, the confident cat will leave it's faeces unburied,so the next moggie who happens on the scene will twitch the whiskers, flick the tail sideways, and mutter "Holy fcuk !! the fcuker who dropped that baton round must have legs like a fcuking billiard table:eek: and could be called Sabre"

Best get your furry arse out of here Tiddles.

That's how it works ,I'm told.

Sabre ?.... you mean the Sabre ?

that cats fcuking mad :eek:....get out now Tibbles .

Gordon Gecko

Great to see a thread so conducive to the Flut!

johnayo

mayotom wrote: »

When I worked in a Galway Nightclub, I was disgusted to find a log in a pint glass, left beside a toilet, in the Ladies..... She must have been in a major hurry

Probably the same girl I found taking a dump on the stairs leading from one of the Emergency exits a few weeks later( she had the cheek to say that she thought the door led to the toilets and that she couldn't wait any longer) I brought her a mop and plenty of paper to clean up, never saw her in the club again

Not great there awl stock. You lost a paying customer there. remember these are recessionary times.:rolleyes:

Panty_thief

log in a pint glass ...arrrr....cant un-imagine. picture stuck in head.
nasty.

-Corkie-

Can someone flush this thread down the swannie...

mayotom

johnayo wrote: »

Not great there awl stock. You lost a paying customer there. remember these are recessionary times.:rolleyes:

twas about 10 years ago, boom times when this lady:rolleyes: went bust on the stairs

Mike 1972

Richard Dower wrote: »

so i was in Arthurs Quay this morning, badly needed a p!ss...so i pay my 20c and enter the stall, only to be greeted by the most horrific "toilet explosion" i've ever seen!

Id have gone looking for my 20c back