Not happy right now

budweiser90

Hey guys,

I've been feeling really crap lately and I don't know how to explain but i'll try my best.

Basically I don't have a positive outlook on anything. I don't know why? I'm good looking, I'm in college and have loads of good friends. But there's still lots I don't like about myself.

I'm really unhappy with my body because I'm really thin. Although have started a diet to gain weight and have started at the gym again. I've another month before I'm back in college but I'm not doing anything with my life right now. Don't have a job, boyfriend etc. I spend most of my time on the computer doing nothing. The only thing that I do is go to the gym. I do see my friends but sometimes I'm just not bothered making the effort to go out to them, even though I have a great time when I'm with them. I'm just not a motivated person. There's so much I want to do like pick up a new hobby, get a job, join a charity, meet more people. But I just can't motivate myself. I think I have some sort of self esteem issue and I find it hard to do anything. Please help, I'm bored and depressed

Tricia1

You don't have a positive outlook on life but you say you're good-looking??

Nichololas

Tricia1 wrote: »

You don't have a positive outlook on life but you say you're good-looking??

Those are mutually exclusive concepts.. Neither one has to have any bearing on the other.

Maple

Folks, please keep the advice constructive and relevant to the OP.

Maple

lace

If you're feeling depressed, OP, then it's important you talk to your GP. They should be able to guide you in the right direction with this issue.

You're taking control of your diet and fitness and taking an interest in your health - this is a really positive step so you're not completely doing nothing!

I'm afraid you are the only person who can give yourself the boot up the bum you need to get motivated OP. You have all the right ideas about joining charity groups and taking up new hobbies but nobody's going to force you to join in.

Does your college have an annual clubs and societies day (usually the first or second week of term)? If it does then offer to go with one of your college friends. Go along and join everything you're interested in. Lots of societies will have something on that day (drama societies might run a workshop or sports clubs might have a sample training session) so be sure to get yourself along to one of these events nice and early on. If one of the charity societies is looking for people to go on a soup run during the first week then be sure to volunteer. The earlier you get involved in clubs and societies the easier it will be to join in and feel part of it.

Until college starts back why not set yourself a challenge or goal you can work towards - whether it's reaching a certain level of fitness, passing the driver theory test, writing a short story, starting a blog, learning a new skill. Try to make time to see your friends. It's better than doing nothing and you do have fun once you actually make the effort.

Zen65

budweiser90 wrote: »

But there's still lots I don't like about myself.

Very few people like everything about themselves, and many people see nothing but the faults. You are attributing your lack of motivation to body issues (or are you?) but I think you should rule out the obvious first.

Spend all day sitting around the computer and by evening you'll have no energy to do anything. A trip to the gym won't change that unless you incorporate aerobic exercises into your routine.

So, start by setting down a plan for the next week. Plan some activities which involve brisk walking, cycling, swimming, or similar active exercise. It's unlikely that this will cause you to undo any of your weight-gain plan, so don't worry about that.

On each day of the week, plan to contact at least 1 friend. Chat and (possibly) make plans to meet up.

Motivation, energy, happiness..... these things rarely come to you before you take action (unless you win the lottery, and even then......) but rather your actions draw these feelings in to you.

Be at peace,
(but get off your ar**)


Z

Mr. Loverman

Whenever you catch yourself pointlessly worrying or beating yourself up over something you cannot control, ask yourself the following questions (courtesy of Byron Katie):

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know that it's true?
• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without the thought?

I also ask an additional two questions:

• What is the point in thinking these thoughts?
• Can you name a single benefit in thinking these thoughts?

They are simple questions but they are very effective.

Give them a try, see if they help you let go of some of your negative thoughts.

Best of luck!