what to do

LegacyUser

hi all, ok in a tricky situation,
was seeing my friends brother for a few months, nothing serious just a friends with benefit situation! anyway the issue is that i developed feelings, he seemed to for a while and then stopped. im very stubborn and felt enough was enough and didnt chase him and cut contact when i figured he just wasnt all i made him out to be! the problem is though that he will not stop contacting me- via text- the latest phase is blank text messages. i have and will not reply. i never really had it out with him, as i have to work with his brother and more family members too so at the time, i just moved on.

i have now found out (since saturday night) from his brother who was drunk at the time that he is saying that it is I who went all wierd with him.

really bugging me because he just cannot seem to leave me alone. i dont believe he has feelings for me anymore but why cant he just leave me alone

Kimia

So you liked this guy but then assumed he didn't like you so ignored him? And now you're wondering why he's still texting you (what appear to be blank messages??). Very confusing.

Why don't you just tell him you don't want to be with him anymore? It sounds like you're being really cold so as to force him to confront his feelings about you and tbh that's just manipulative. Just be honest with the guy.

LegacyUser

thanks kimia, appreciate the feedback but with this boy i think he has he is really just trying to keep me stringing along and thats its just not helping his ego that i am ignoring his what are now just blank messages sent at normal times of the day (very immature ) and we are not teenagers (mid 20's actually)

this all coming from a lad who promised it wouldnt be wierd when it finished with us because of the work connection and me having to work with half his family. oh well never believe what boy says!!!!

i should have explained that before going cold and not replying i have tried the civil route replying casually to his texts. but it got too much him texting all the time. like its a game for his ego. but since sat night i cant help but wonder what he is saying about me ! i have never once gone into details about him with family or anyone else that knows him. dont see it as any their business. just feel hurt cause we did once upon time get on so great. know that all past tense. just wish he would stop the blank mesasging

musicinyou

unregistered wrote: »

thanks kimia, appreciate the feedback but with this boy i think he has he is really just trying to keep me stringing along and thats its just not helping his ego that i am ignoring his what are now just blank messages sent at normal times of the day (very immature ) and we are not teenagers (mid 20's actually)

this all coming from a lad who promised it wouldnt be wierd when it finished with us because of the work connection and me having to work with half his family. oh well never believe what boy says!!!!

i should have explained that before going cold and not replying i have tried the civil route replying casually to his texts. but it got too much him texting all the time. like its a game for his ego. but since sat night i cant help but wonder what he is saying about me ! i have never once gone into details about him with family or anyone else that knows him. dont see it as any their business. just feel hurt cause we did once upon time get on so great. know that all past tense. just wish he would stop the blank mesasging

get the straight to the point at this stage, tell him blank texts are a little bit weird, please give over! get his number block if he keeps up, the fact that you work with his family wouldnt bother me, id block him, blank texts il never understand that! or when you receive a message that was for you but wasnt for you just to get a response! ignore, ignore, ignore

good luck :O)

LegacyUser

OP - I understand WHY you have cut contact and started ignoring him - you felt that you had to move on from him because he wasn't showing you the same level of commitment that you wanted from him. Fair enough.

However it doesn't sound like you explained this to him. Now I don't really know what he was doing to make you think that he wasn't feeling as strongly as you but without coming out and asking him 'what's going on with us' there was no real way of knowing where you stood and as far as he could be concerned all of a sudden you just started pulling back and went cold.

Having been on the receiving end of that from time to time and not knowing why there was a sudden change of heart - it can drive you crazy! So maybe he was confused that you suddenly went from being into him to ignoring him, with no explanation and it's driving him daft.

I know I hate being left hanging without an explanation. Sounds like you guys need to talk.

Wompa1

I'm kind of confused as it doesn't seem to me like you actually told him I don't want to keep seeing you...if I was him, I'd actually think you are the one that started getting weird. You've just stopped contacting him with no explanation. I don't really do those casual types of relationships but even so I think it was me I'd be a bit puzzled as to why the person wouldn't even reply to tell me to forget about it....you not saying it, is what's making it weird.

Maybe he now thinks...is she upset with me, has it made things weird etc.

If that makes any sense...the blank messages are juvenile but your playing games (if you haven't told him it's over) is juvenile too