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Family says BF is "selfish"

  • 26-08-2011 3:19pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm unreging for this and asking here as many of my friends are also very good friends with my boyfriend as well.

    I love my boyfriend and we are together two years, but my family have commented on him being selfish, as in never treating me out for meals and such, even though my family and I have given him a lot (such as providing his accommodation and food this summer). I'm 20 and he is mid- 20s. We went away for the summer with my family members, and they were shocked at how flippant he was with his money yet never paid for things for me. He was legal to drink, while I was not and he was out after work every so often as well. I didn't want to go out much as I couldn't drink, and he nearly always wanted to go to the bars. He asked me most times if he could go out without me, and of course I can't say no, as we had already spent most nights at home or together anyway. And I did enjoy some of the time alone.

    He gets a lot more money than me; at the summer jobs we had and from his parents as well, and from the government and his parents during the year. I get money from my parents during the year. I admit he does not pay for me to go out, but I don't pay for him either. I don't really believe the idea that a boyfriend has to pay for everything for his girlfriend, that they should pay equally.

    Yet all this has gotten me thinking that he might not be treating me "fairly" as my family puts it, but this is my first relationship so I'm not sure. Any opinions would be great, I just want to know if I'm being treated well.


Comments

  • #2
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Do YOU feel like you're being treated well by him?
    Try not to get sucked in to what your family think.

    If you agree to "go dutch" and split the bill all the time, then that's fair enough. I would never allow my boyfriend to pay for me all the time.

    If he respects you, and is kind to you then that's all that matters. If YOU think he is stingy with money, then speak to him about it, but it may not go your way, as it's not your money- it's his!


  • #3
    moco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 972 ✭✭✭moco


    Maybe your parents resent paying for his food and accommodation. If this wasn't happening they probably wouldn't notice where his money goes.


  • #4
    Curry Addict
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Curry Addict


    your family want to think u will be "looked after" when u potentially move on in life with bf. they "looked after" your bf this summer. he "looked after" himself. this is how they are seeing it.


  • #5
    Distorted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭Distorted


    Its hard to tell from the information you provide, but sometimes you are too close to things to see how they really are. I'd say it would be better if he does things for you instead of taking you out for meals, such as going for nice days out together, maybe fixing or repairing stuff, etc.. I have to say I'm a bit concerned about a man in his mid twenties who still gets money off his parents and freeloads off his girlfriend's parents for food and accommodation while having plenty of money to go drinking. It makes him sound rather spoilt, but as I say information is limited so I wouldn't like to condemn him on this alone.


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