Losing the love of my life

LegacyUser

Background: Been with boyfriend a year and a half which may not sound much but for 3 years before this we were BEST friends...I mean each others number one people Nobody knows me like he does and vice versa. We've talked as recently as like a week ago about our plans for the future, fully expected to get married etc...Nobody has ever treated me as amazingly as him, he is the most wonderful man in the world.

We never fight..except when we're drunk. But we're out a lot and therefore fight constantly In the morning we make up immediately. However, while in the past the blame went back and forth between us in the last few weeks it seems to always be me being awful to him. He's sick of it and I dont blame him. And I think he wants to end contact completely cause hes sick of feeling bad all the time...

The thing is when we're sober our relationship is perfect Hes leaving for a year in Oz at the end of the month and we planned on staying together he had even looked up places to bring me when I visited...Now he cant wait to go so he can get over me.

I know what has to happen, no more drinking but he says he thinks the damage is done. Its just everyhting else in our relationship is so perfect I know if this element was eliminated we'd be sooo happy 24/7. We're running out of time. I know this is all my fault and I just feel sick and miserable. I didnt think I could feel so miserable. The most amazing man in the world is about to disappear from my life FOREVER. we're going to meet in a few days to talk properly but I know what hes going to say..

Taltos

starxox wrote: »

We never fight..except when we're drunk.
But we're out a lot and therefore fight constantly

Which really means - you fight a hell of a lot.

To be honest I would be of a similar mind to your BF. However, you are both adult, I take it you are not stupid - so why would you both continue to drink knowing that it only has one result?
In my mind - he is just as guilty here as you are.

Chances are the stress of him leaving has fed into these fights, but maybe this separation will do you both some good. In the meantime please learn from this - stay away from drink if you can.

Maybe just try to have one last serious talk with him, just don't make any promises you cannot keep - eg not drinking or not meeting someone else - a year can be a long time if you approach it with the wrong mindset.

LegacyUser

the thing is I know we'd be fine while hes away we had it all planned out...Although I suppose at the time when things were less certain, yes this was what sparked a lot of the fights
The thing is I dont want to move on. I'll never ever meet someone like him.

Moomoo1

it's unlikely that he's gone from discussing marriage to breaking up within a week - perhaps it was a really bad argument, and he reacted like this

starxox

starxox wrote: »

I know what has to happen, no more drinking but he says he thinks the damage is done.

Whatever he thinks, your analysis is right on the money.

starxox wrote: »

I know this is all my fault.....

Is it, though? If the choice is between keeping you and keeping drinking, and he chooses to keep drinking, that'll break your heart - but more fool him, and no way will it be your fault.

Best of luck.