When did it get so cold in here?

LegacyUser

Hey all!

Righteo basically need to get this off me chest so be kind

Met this girl a little while back at a party of a lad in our band; she was kinda shy at the start but came out of her shell soon enough and we were talking, I felt things were going well so thought I'd throw the arm 'round the shoulder type thing (Yeah so cliché I know) and being purposely forward just to see her reaction (Didn't say anything so couldn't have been bad! :P) though I didn't really make a proper move, thinking it might be a bit too early.

We got talking after on facebook and I found out she was heading into college (I'm only starting 6th year) and the general things that wouldn't come up during first conversation. (She's living far from the city but is getting a house for when she moves into college) We clicked the same that we did that night and we both found out we have very very similar interests and tastes. Then I found out a few days later that she had shagged the lad in our band a few weeks before the party. I didn't think it a big deal, that sorta thing happens and there didn't seem to be anything between them after, as a matter of fact he was completely ignoring her soon after the party. (Nothing to do with me I was assured)

So we kept talking and the signs were good, she hid her phone number in a code for me to guess, sending kisses, the usual sort of crap. Stupidly, after she was having a ****e day and was getting upset over work/family stuff I accidentally let slip that I was interested in her, she cheered up and when I asked were the feelings mutual she replied 'maybe ' At this point I thought it was a given that there was something between us. We arranged to meet up but she all but stood me up (Got dragged off somewhere else with a friend) and I texted her saying (In no stronger terms than..) that I wasn't happy and what she did was out of order. So she texts back apologising and sent a few texts that night saying sorry and that she was coming in a few days later and that she'd make up for it. I couldn't feel but help the next few days she was a little colder towards me than she was before.

So we did meet up a few days later and went busking together and hit it off again. Same sense of humor, even the music sounded alright (not a euphemism!) and we made a good bit of money. We spent the day then just in a park chatting and playing guitar; really getting along perfect and laughing a lot, but I didn't really see any of the signs of interest (wasn't trying to get close or brush my hand or anything) so I never really felt the right time to make a move (I'm not a shy person so if I did feel the opportunity was there I wouldn't have been afraid)

So sorry for the essay, but really I dunno where I stand with the girl. I really like her, and I think there's feelings in the opposite direction but despite getting along famously well I can't help but feel I might be slipping into the friendzone, plus all the other complications makes me wonder if she's worth emotionally investing in. Help people?

tbh

I've got a magical phrase you can use on her - it'll "trick" her into revealing how she feels about you. It's been handed down to me and kept a closely guarded secret, but I like you OP, so I'm going to share. You should be careful tho, using this phrase will reveal the truth about how this girl feels about you - hopefully you'll get the answer you want, but you may not.

Ok, ready? Study this carefully, memorise, and then burn your laptop.

the phrase is a two part phrase.

The first part is "so, what's the story?"

the second part is "with us, I mean".

I've taught you all I can OP. You're on your own now. Good luck and god speed.

SheFiend

You wonder if she's worth investing in, and she probably is too! Hence she isn't cuddling you already after only having met you 3 times.

If she was colder to you after chastising her for meeting and leaving you, then that probably left a bad impression on her. How you felt entitled to her company after only meeting her twice would raise alarm bells in any sensible person's head.

After 3 days meeting, you are not in the friend zone. You are in the aquaintance / person she hardly knows zone. She said she is "maybe" interested in you, which isn't a No", but is a "yes, but I'm not saying right now". She may want to get to know you before she calls you her boyfriend. That's fairly understandable.

Keep in mind, you're confident, and she is shy. Don't write her off just because she's not making moves yet.

LegacyUser

tbh wrote: »

I've got a magical phrase you can use on her - it'll "trick" her into revealing how she feels about you. It's been handed down to me and kept a closely guarded secret, but I like you OP, so I'm going to share. You should be careful tho, using this phrase will reveal the truth about how this girl feels about you - hopefully you'll get the answer you want, but you may not.

Ok, ready? Study this carefully, memorise, and then burn your laptop.

the phrase is a two part phrase.

The first part is "so, what's the story?"

the second part is "with us, I mean".

I've taught you all I can OP. You're on your own now. Good luck and god speed.

What, ask the girl a question?! :O (I joke!)

Yeah that seems a perfectly sensible thing to do alright, I just don't wanna put her off by again trying to group us together romantically (Having already 'fessed up) but I think I will, when we meet up again.

Shefiend: I think you picked up on that wrong. It wasn't the fact that she wasn't in my company, it was the fact that we had arranged to meet up, I got there expecting to see her (got no text or call to suggest otherwise) and after waiting around for 10 minutes I asked her was she coming and she told me she had gone off with her friend. I said it to her that I wouldn't have minded her going off but the fact she didn't let me know and left me standing in town was disappointing. Thanks for the advice though

tbh

HoleInMyHead wrote: »

What, ask the girl a question?! :O (I joke!)

Yeah that seems a perfectly sensible thing to do alright, I just don't wanna put her off by again trying to group us together romantically (Having already 'fessed up) but I think I will, when we meet up again.

I know it's easier said than done - but if you look at it logically, you're not afraid of the question, you're afraid of the answer. And you're only afraid of one of the two possible answers. However, you're not asking her to make a new decision, you're asking her to tell you about the decision she's already made - if she's not into you, it's better to find out quickly.

SheFiend

Whoops! Sorry OP, i thought ye met, and then she left.. my bad! Sorry!
Sounds like ye had a great day last time ye met. I'd be inclined to think you should play it cool, and spend more time with her so that she begins wondering when will you ask her, rather than ask her too early when she might not know what she wants. Girls dig guys that don't act too interested. It's like wanting what you can't have.

Then again, that's a pretty tactical way of going about it.

LegacyUser

Yeah so giving ye an update now after a few bizarre weeks. Were on and then off for a bit and back on proper now with no distractions so (for the moment) it's a happy ending Thanks fellow Boardies!

WANTStoWORK

did it ever cross your mind that all she wants is a NSA relationship..as in a good shag!, sorry to be so crude.