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Irrational Fear of Being Dumped

  • 23-08-2011 12:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys, going unregged for this.

    This is probably going to sound terribly needy and insecure but sometimes I have a terrible irrational fear that my current relationship will fail and my girlfriend will dump me. Terribly immature thinking maybe. By the way, she's in her mid 20's and I'm in my late 20's.

    Now there is nothing about my relationship that would lead me to believe that. I'm very much in love with her, in fact she's probably the most amazing woman I've ever been in a relationship with. We've been seeing each other for over a year and she has mentioned she sees a long future with me (marriage, kids etc.). I've also hidden most of this insecurity to her, mainly because it sounds so desperate and needy.

    So why the hell am I so insecure? I think it has to do with a few things:

    * The main one is that I was dumped by my previous girlfriend after a four year relationship. I knew things were a little rocky but the break-up struck me out of the blue. We even had holidays booked and all for a week after she dumped me. It really knocked the stuffing out of me and took me a while to get over it. That was over a year and a half ago, I met my current girlfriend 3 months later (maybe that was too soon but the two of us really clicked).

    * Maybe strangely for a guy, I really have had the urge in the last six months or so that I want to settle down and this I think is putting pressure on me as I want this relationship to be a "success". Silly I know but there it goes. I don't want to "go back to square one again".

    * I wonder sometimes will the fact that we only meet up mainly at the weekends affect the success of our relationship. We both currently live in different cities, although we have already discussed re-locations etc. once her career settles down (she's currently on rolling contracts so not sure where she will be in the medium to long term). But she's used to a relationship like that I guess as her sister is engaged to a guy and they have spent most of their 7yr+ relationship living in different parts of the country to one another.

    So after that long piece, can anyone relate to this or give me any advice (apart from the obvious "cop the f**k on")?

    Thanks.


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