GF's Pill Change

LegacyUser

Hey all,

GF started on a new pill cause the last one she was on was causing a lil weight gain. The weight has fallen off which she's really happy about but the new one has killed her sex drive.

I'm trying to find a delicate way to bring this up and maybe get her to try a new pill because I don't think she realizes its the pill that's doing it!

(I'm positive its the pill because it happened before when she borrowed a friends one for a month when she ran out and the same thing happened. When she switched back to the regular one she was amazing out how it had affected her!)

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Emme

The best person to advise ye would be a nurse or doctor in a family planning clinic but no contraceptive pill is perfect. That's why men don't take it! Only joking.

hgsfg wrote: »

I'm positive its the pill because it happened before when she borrowed a friends one for a month when she ran out and the same thing happened. When she switched back to the regular one she was amazing out how it had affected her!

I've just re-read the OP's post and am amazed that somebody would borrow a friend's pill for a month after running out! Not a great idea. OP, this isn't a place for medical advice. Like I said, discuss your options with the doctor or the family planning clinic.

Miss Fluff

Contraception is more often than not a case of trial and error. I found a low-dose pill years ago (Microlite) that suits me and I have stuck with it but I have friends who have had a horrific time trying to find one that doesn't cause mid-cycle bleeding or mood swings or loss of libido or what have you. She needs to go to her GP or family planning clinic and discuss her options there as it's only through medical advice that she'll be able to find something that suits her and her lifestyle tbh.

LegacyUser

OP here,

I talked to her the other day about it, she acknowledged the fact that the pill has killed her sex drive but really wants to stick with it because of the weight loss, I've never seen her so happy with her appearance! She took some strange advice from a mate saying that it takes 3 months to settle into a pill for the side effects to wear off but after a lot of research on the subject it really doesn't seem like that's how it works, I could be wrong...

I love her to bits and I love that she's finally happy with herself but I can't help but feel rejected, unloved and undesired as she brushes off all of my advancements and doesn't make any herself. It's never been like this.

Its kinda upsetting really... Am I being selfish? I want her to be happy with herself but I also want to feel more connected... I dunno

moco

Is it Yasmin she's on?

I think there may be some truth in the 3 month thing, but I don't think the lack of interest in sex will change while she's on it. I think it means that if you get some side effects like nausea or headaches at the start that they'll wear off after a while.

I was on Yasmin for a few months and it effected me in exactly the same way as your girlfriend, with the added fun of making me over emotional and crying over nothing, even questioning my relationship cos he'd started being so horrible to me (he hadn't). I only stayed on it for about 2 months because of the lack of sex drive mostly. Is your girlfriend wanting to lose much more weight?

muboop1

asdvasdvsdv wrote: »

I love her to bits and I love that she's finally happy with herself but I can't help but feel rejected, unloved and undesired as she brushes off all of my advancements and doesn't make any herself. It's never been like this.

Its kinda upsetting really... Am I being selfish? I want her to be happy with herself but I also want to feel more connected... I dunno

Mate... This bit stood out to me.

You are in no way wrong for how you feel, many lads, although they won't admit it have felt the same.

The simple truth is this... You are glad she is happy, but you miss the intimacy. We all love sex etc... but lets be honest, with your gf it's more than just sex, its a closeness etc. And you are without.

urther, you feel bad for "trying it on etc". It's perfectly normal. And not to be bad, but it's perfectly reasonable to say to her that, although you are happy shes lost weight etc, you aren't happy with the affect its having on you. That you feel rejected, and it doesn't matter that it's the pill, that you feel bad. You can't force her to stop etc, but you can damn well make her know how you feel!

will she listen? Who knows! But you have to for your own sanity try. Sex is natural, having it is natural. Never having it with the woman you love, with no decent reason imo is not normal and warrants attention.

LegacyUser

@moco: Yeah she's on Yasminelle, she doesn't want/need to lose more, think she just wants to avoid putting it back on with another pill.


@muboop1: I think I'm just worried that if I bring it up again she'll think I'm just there for the sex, I'd rather have her want to change rather then guilt her into it and have her think of me like that.

I'm gonna have to say something about it anyways, I'm sure there must be another pill out there that will work in all respects, I just hope she's willing to look for it!

John Mason

why dont you suggest that she comes off the pill completely and you will use condoms?

MetalDog

irishbird wrote: »

why dont you suggest that she comes off the pill completely and you will use condoms?

It'd be safer to use both the pill and condoms.

Kimia

asdvasdvsdv wrote: »

OP here,

I talked to her the other day about it, she acknowledged the fact that the pill has killed her sex drive but really wants to stick with it because of the weight loss, I've never seen her so happy with her appearance! She took some strange advice from a mate saying that it takes 3 months to settle into a pill for the side effects to wear off but after a lot of research on the subject it really doesn't seem like that's how it works, I could be wrong...

I love her to bits and I love that she's finally happy with herself but I can't help but feel rejected, unloved and undesired as she brushes off all of my advancements and doesn't make any herself. It's never been like this.

Its kinda upsetting really... Am I being selfish? I want her to be happy with herself but I also want to feel more connected... I dunno

i'm sorry OP, but it sounds slightly more serious than a side effect from the pill. From what you've said above it sounds like she's growing away from you - her new found confidence and happiness in her appearance could mean she's thinking about what she's missing out on. And the fact that she makes no effort to make you feel important and loved is significant.

LegacyUser

irishbird wrote: »

why dont you suggest that she comes off the pill completely and you will use condoms?

She hates condoms! So do I to be honest but I'm not against the idea.

Kimia wrote: »

i'm sorry OP, but it sounds slightly more serious than a side effect from the pill. From what you've said above it sounds like she's growing away from you - her new found confidence and happiness in her appearance could mean she's thinking about what she's missing out on. And the fact that she makes no effort to make you feel important and loved is significant.

Don't be sorry! Every other part of our relationship is amazing, she makes me feel incredibly loved and secure in every other part of the relationship, we're very very happy together. I only feel bad when she brushes off the advancements which has happened before with another pill she took, when she got off it things were back to normal in a few days! Thanks for the input though!

dudara

The simple fact is that each pill affects each woman differently. You need to talk to her as much as you can about the lack of intimacy that is stemming from the lack of sex. She should be willing to try other pills or solutions.

If her weight is more important to her than a healthy relationship with you, then that is something you will have to make a decision on.

emzippy

Hi OP,

I was on Yasmin too up until recently and I went through the mood swings and crazy hormone flcutuations while I was on it. Crying one minute and being horrible to my bf the next. I'm really just re-iterating what everyone else is saying, it can affect every girl so differently.

I have heard about the pill taking a few months to settle but as you say I'm not sure if that relates to sex drive.

Have you sat down and told your gf waht you've told us? That you want to still feel that connection with her? I don't think you're being selfish, sex is an important part of a relationship.

Would she be willing to go back to the gp and try another pill if she knew exacatly how you felt? I know you've talked to her about this but did you explain exactly what you said here?

There are lots and lots of pills on the market, it's a matter of trial and error in alot of cases.

Best of Luck!